What are some of the most stupid things you've heard "engineers" say?

[Carnivorouschrysalis]

I thought it might be an interesting and fun idea to talk about some of the most stupid things you've heard come out of peoples' mouths who claim to be "audio engineers."

Personally, this one has been the most ridiculous.
"Sound treating? What for? With digital, you can record vocals in a gym and it'll still sound good" - Kid that lives in my town.

 

[Loren Littlejohn]

The only thing that I have encountered that makes me rage is questions on how to imitate others (fuck yo Joey Sturgis wanna be style) and how to use cracked software.

That's it though. I have not run into any super morons or anything. People (for some reason or another) tend to have a certain respect for what I have to say. I wouldn't have hesitated to call that dude a moron.

 

[Ermz]

'This is called a smiley face EQ. You set this up on your front of house EQ, then chase the ringy frequencies on your channels.'

Round the same time I worked out the money I was spending on audio school would've been better spent getting done by shemale hookers.

 

[Jaymz]

"I smell Christmas tree!" - Me

 

[~BURNY~]

"I don't listen to music. I don't want to be biased."

 

[arv_foh]

"You should just do a kick mic and an overhead the rest will get picked up from the vocal mics"

-a touring engineer treating me like I'm an idiot when I told him I didn't have enough inputs to properly mix the opening band

I had a distressor inserted on the kick drum..

"Can you pull that? I want to use the behringer I know my settings for that"

 

[vespiz]

Live engineer (gee, I wonder why?): "yeah, I'll put on some 200k.."

 

[Derykus]

Dude Mogami cables make such a huge difference.

 

[Loren Littlejohn]

'This is called a smiley face EQ. You set this up on your front of house EQ, then chase the ringy frequencies on your channels.'

Round the same time I worked out the money I was spending on audio school would've been better spent getting done by shemale hookers.

Please tell me this isn't something they tried to teach in any sort of school.



My professor talked about live rigs. He had a brilliant idea, grab 2 piece of shit behringer eqs and have those up on the desk, and put your actual graphics under the table set correctly for the room and then put lock panels over the front of them.

Then when Rtards try to tweak the graphics they don't do damage.

 

[Loren Littlejohn]

Dude Mogami cables make such a huge difference.

In some cases they really do man.

 

[egan.]

Yeah. Nothing particularly funny about the quality of cables carrying low level making a difference.

 

[Derykus]

No doubt - I just made a bunch of cables with some Mogami 2534. I should have worded it differently; I've come across several people who think that Mogami cables will turn their amateur recordings into professional recordings.

 

[egan.]

For sure. That extends beyond just cables. It's easy to get into your head that you're one piece of gear away from being a better engineer.

 

[LiberaScientia]

 

[Empathy]

"I sent you the DI's super quiet because plugins work better on quiet signals"

The DI tracks were to be reamped. They were peaking at -40. I asked if he could just send me the DI's at recorded levels, and he said "those were the recorded levels". Bass inclusive.

That was a long day.

 

[Fredrik-Ablaze]

"we can't try this because..."

 

[greyskull]

From someone who was 'teaching' me when i was doing music tech A-Level

"Don't worry about where you put the mics, you can just eq it later"

 

[RichS]

We will fix it in the mix.

 

[colonel kurtz]

"Before I record anything I spend a whole day just selecting mic pres."

*shrug*

seems pretty par for the course to me for studios that have a well-stocked arsenal of pres...

 

[nialldoran]

wasnt an engineer but a few days ago i was doing live sound on a little 16 track desk in a local bar, EQ and compression all in line etc, one of the guitarists started changing my setup while nothing was playing through those channels so he couldnt possibly have been making informed decisions and he ended it with, "what is this compression shit?" and proceeded to turn stuff down" that was a long gig