what the fuck to do with my life plz

[dorian gray]

I for one would've definitely benefited from some "life experience" prior to going to college

 

[Demilich]

Wow. I never would have thought that Erik and I have so much in common

The only differences I can see are that I don't have a girlfriend, I've been in my dead-end job over 4 years, and I have a shitty university degree that isn't worth fuck all and that I can't remember the first thing about.

So far: Tully wins the thread.

I mean to get to my "adventuring" in the form of getting a TEFL certificate and moving away to teach English like some other guy who used to post here.

 

[lurch70]

and next thing you know you will be married to some japanese chick

 

[dorian gray]

and be utterly miserable

 

[Dick Sirloin]

Erik: I feel you man. I think 80% of the way to achieve happiness in your life is to always be working toward something. It seems like you have a general idea of what that might be, so that's a huge step (most people have never been good at, or interested in, much of anything it seems like). I'm 26 too, and I find it to be the age where one says to himself: "maybe life isn't just hanging out with my bros at bars every weekend." The first step of some kind of panic mode, that gets lauged at five years later. At least you're not tied town with kids, wife, etc. I don't think a person truly begins to figure out who he is until AT LEAST oh, I dunno, 24 or something..... and that's only the very beginning. It's a complex time, when one starts to realize that a change is in order, and not knowing what that might be is hellaciously frustrating. Then again, I know a lot of other mid-20s bros (some who are pretty well set in life) and they are having the exact same dilemmas. So I can't offer any decent advice, but at least know that a lot of other people hit the same shit at this point in their lives. You're a smart dude, you'll figure it out.

 

[lurch70]

it happens again at 40 so you got 15 years to fuck things up.

 

[ChaosLee]

I have a plan to change careers every five years. Previously English instructor, now a marketing monkey at a for-profit university. Next up likely something very radical. I got my master's degree which basically translates to people know I can finish something, but rarely give two fucks about the actual degree. Admittedly computers and certain other industries are near-perpetual demand, but they tend to be fairly narrow in options.

One thing I have learned, is you are NEVER cemented into one thing in life and you can take a dive in any direction at any time. Watching people who did 20 years at a company only to get laid off or have their company go under made me realize how absolutely asinine this "pick a career and be it forever" concept actually is, since there is no real certainty. If you're not happy, change it up, take a gamble and see what's out there.

 

[einride]

today this has been my soundtrack at work so far

overkill - i hate
overkill - fuck you
overkill - fuck you
overkill - fuck you
overkill - fuck you
overkill - fuck you
overkill - i hate
kreator - betrayer
kreator - love us or hate us
protector - misanthropy
merciless - pure hate

i came in this morning and had a sheet of paper TAPED to my monitor saying some bullshit about "BLAH BLAH THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO DONE ON MONDAY AND IT'S STILL NOT DONE HOW COME?" fucking passive aggressive bullshit, say it to my FACE or fuck the fuck off


EDIT: also, this is how i know i should switch jobs: whenever a customer or co worker comes with their stupid demands, in my heart and soul i really just want to tell them "you know what buddy? i TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY. do not CARE. your interests do not at any point overlap with mine. take it up with my butt, he's the only one who gives a crap."

it's hard to explain, i never really cared about what i do at work but it's different now. it's like everything i do and am expected to care about is so absolutely external to my interests that i have to make a conscious effort every time just to make myself mechanically perform the actions required of me. i can not emphasise enough how little i care.

 

[dorian gray]

@ Lurch

 

[einride]

"Do not sleep under a roof. Carry no money or food. Go alone to places frightening to the common brand of men. Become a criminal of purpose. Be put in jail, and extricate yourself by your own wisdom."
- Miyamoto Musashi

the thing is i'm nearly certain i was not born/raised to be, and do not want to be the adventurer type. it's not in me and with ALL due respect, i think some of the satisfaction gained from living a life of action 'n' adventure are pretty fleeting and empty in the end. i think there are some deeper, more lasting satisfactions that can be gained neither from living like you're indiana jones with a rocket launcher for a penis, nor from slaving away at typing up expense reports for douchebag international, inc. while chained to your wife, kids and subaru forester.

or to put it this way... this much i have figured out: the goals i have set for myself in life, the things that give meaning to it all in the end, are wholly separate from work, the stuff that puts food on the table. it has been a gradual process to accept that i will probably need to spend 40+ hours a week doing what is essentially inconsequential to my lifetime goals, but i'm pretty much OK with it now, ASSUMING that i find a job that i can at least do without wanting to shoot myself in the face. this is still the million dollar question, but more and more i think programming would be ok because it is mentally stimulating, fun, and enables me to mostly keep to myself and shut up (i like jobs where i can keep to myself and shut up)

so yeah: the question i have is not really "how can i live a fulfilling life" because i've already got a decent idea there. it's more like "how do i set my 'professional' life up for making decent cash before it's too late"

I think 80% of the way to achieve happiness in your life is to always be working toward something.

this is probably true. most of the time i feel like "man, i can't wait til i get everything done so i can sit back and chillax with my super nintendo", like i just want to get all my personal projects done, get all my work done, just live with a completely empty future. that never happens of course so i have no idea what that might feel like. but i guess the positive feeling of "i am working towards this goal i really want to achieve" is different from "i have this big black cloud of expectation and unfinished business hanging over me at all times"

(most people have never been good at, or interested in, much of anything it seems like)

i have made this observation a lot too and it seems so funny/scary to me. these are otherwise perfectly intelligent, reasonable people, too. why do people not have interests or goals these days?

 

[einride]

more replies!

if you want to be a programmer or computer genius ... I don't think it's necessary. go work for any company at an entry level tech job and you will reach further in 4 years than with school (not to mention you are getting paid as well instead of you doing the paying)

the thing is entry level tech jobs are TOUGH to get, is my impression. computer jobs are either "you gotta have a degree bro" or they're really low end but then you compete with not only people with degrees and more experience (because the market is so bad right now that even low end jobs get taken by folks with way too much experience) but also the trillions of folks who vaguely "know computers" (from playing 110 hours of world of warcraft a week, no doubt) and it gets really tough.

a real degree is the safest bet if i want to go down this road

but i have considered what you're saying, and i think it's worth at least giving the old college try (ha, ha, ha) at getting a decent job before applying for college. sometimes i'm lucky. once you're in, you can use that experience as leverage to roll on to the next job and so forth, so spending 4 years and lots of money just to get a foot in looks a bit dumb

if you want to be a sound engineer go out with a band on the road ...

i'd sooner shoot myself in the face, the music business is horrible

and get rid of this general mentality first

my "general mentality" is a lot more easy going, open minded and chillaxed than you probably think from observing me being sarcastic as heck on an internet forum all day

that said, fuck india forever. i have an open mind towards most countries but india can eat hell.

i don't know what the educational system is like in sverige, but in the US you can go to community colleges or trade schools for MUCH cheaper than university.

as i said, college is free so that's not the problem. the problem is i need to support myself while going to college. so i've considered community colleges etc but i have concluded it would be a waste of time since i would be spending a lot of time and money still, only to end up with a piece of paper that is worth a lot less than a piece of paper from a real proper college. so.

Erik, any possibility you can hold down your job and go to school at the same time? Might seem like an ass load, but it would be your best bet if viable.

no way i can work this many hours, but if i play my cards right i might be able to work a few hours a week here while studying. it is certainly an option.

college in sweden is different to that of some other countries (germany, at least, but maybe america too) in that you are expected to do A LOT of work at home, and not so much at your actual classes. juggling a job with that would be difficult for someone with my self-discipline (no self-discipline)

 

[Thanatopsis123]

and be utterly miserable

Hey, I'm not completely miserable.

in the US you can go to community colleges or trade schools for MUCH cheaper than university. i did this before going to a major university and i swear to you there really isn't a difference in the quality of education if you go to the right one.

Really? No difference? I worked at a university's satellite campus for a while. It amounted to little more than a community college. The quality of both students and educators seemed vastly different to me even compared to those at the main campus.

Plus, nobody respects community college. Don't employers look down on anything earned at one? Hell, I only went to the University of Arkansas and even I look down on community colleges. (smiley face to lessen sting)

Here in the States, people change careers several times in their lifetime. I read that somewhere. I've never known anyone who actually did that.

I know I haven't met one.

I've thought about changing careers but I'm already 28. It's too late for me. Plus, for everyone complaining about feeling stuck, fuck you. Now that I have a marriage visa I'm allowed to get almost any job in Japan. But being a foreigner limits me to about 3 different jobs. The job I'm in currently, sports (that'll never happen), and translation/interpretation (that won't happen for a LONG time).

I'm too busy running my own business to take Japanese lessons and actually get any good at this language. Plus, when I get finished with work at 7-10 p.m. I'm too damned tired to do any studying. So it looks like teaching is it for me.

But I don't think I can do it forever. The kids classes take too much out of me mentally and physically. I can't be genki enough when I'm 40. I know that now. And I don't know if my body can take these tiny fists of fury for many more years. So while I DO actually enjoy my job most days, I often think about going back to America despite the economy being shit.

I need to start thinking about a job that'll allow me to retire and that I can actually do until retirement age. This job doesn't make me enough to retire on. Ever. Sometimes I daydream about cashing in my government pension, going back to the U.S., getting a job in which advancement is possible, getting a house with central heating and air conditioning, and actually retiring.... Then I snap out of it and figure I'm probably better off here. I just wish I had more opportunities or made more money.

 

[einride]

you're 28 and already thinking advanced thoughts about retirement

 

[lurch70]

but i have considered what you're saying, and i think it's worth at least giving the old college try (ha, ha, ha) at getting a decent job before applying for college. sometimes i'm lucky. once you're in, you can use that experience as leverage to roll on to the next job and so forth, so spending 4 years and lots of money just to get a foot in looks a bit dumb

yeah, i mean you can spend another few years jumping jobs and maybe you land on something that's like ... fuck ... I really want to do this stuff forever.
THEN ... you can try to get a degree in that field while working ... it's never too late to go to school. (not that I would want to at my age )

as far as money ... I don't think you have to go to school to make a lot of that and retire early ... just find some mentors or get advice from juden

 

[einride]

let me throw a question out there

does anyone consider getting a college degree worth it solely for the experience and/or the learning? or has it all been about "i need to acquire this piece of paper so i can show it to potential employers" to you?

 

[Furious B]

Hey, I'm not completely miserable.



Really? No difference? I worked at a university's satellite campus for a while. It amounted to little more than a community college. The quality of both students and educators seemed vastly different to me even compared to those at the main campus.

Plus, nobody respects community college. Don't employers look down on anything earned at one? Hell, I only went to the University of Arkansas and even I look down on community colleges. (smiley face to lessen sting)

i went to a community college and then to a major university here and to me there wasn't a noticeable difference in terms of the capacity of the instructors. plus, the class sizes were smaller and the instructors had more time to spend when i needed personalized questions answered. maybe the one i went to is an anomaly? idk.

not sure about employers looking down on community colleges as i have a couple friends that went to the same school and have great jobs with those degrees.

you're probably right about the quality of the students though. it does attract the "alternative" education crowd haha.

 

[Furious B]

let me throw a question out there

does anyone consider getting a college degree worth it solely for the experience and/or the learning? or has it all been about "i need to acquire this piece of paper so i can show it to potential employers" to you?

i don't know where i heard this, but someone said this and i thought it was apt in terms of the educational system:

"If you want an education, go to a library; if you want to get laid, go to college."

 

[Thanatopsis123]

you're 28 and already thinking advanced thoughts about retirement

It's never too early.

let me throw a question out there

does anyone consider getting a college degree worth it solely for the experience and/or the learning? or has it all been about "i need to acquire this piece of paper so i can show it to potential employers" to you?

I value the experience and personal growth I garnered while acquiring my degree much more highly than its potential monetary value. But I got a degree in history so maybe I'm just saying that so I don't feel like those four years were a complete waste.

Business and engineering degrees will make you a rich person. A liberal arts degree will make you a better person. Or something.

 

[KILL TULLY]

you're 28 and already thinking advanced thoughts about retirement

I'm only 25 and have a Roth IRA and a 401k. Nothin' wrong with that man!

 

[Hell Mike]

I'm 26 too, and I find it to be the age where one says to himself: "maybe life isn't just hanging out with my bros at bars every weekend."
[...]
At least you're not tied town with kids, wife, etc.

That's the next logical step after realization A tbh (and the most rewarding thing in life/the long run, ask dying people for proof.)

If you're not happy, change it up, take a gamble and see what's out there.

This. Especially with all the socíal shit we have in Sweden. What's the worst that can happen? That you earn a wee bit less each month and/or end up at a job that's almost as bad. Oh no.

but i guess the positive feeling of "i am working towards this goal i really want to achieve" is different from "i have this big black cloud of expectation and unfinished business hanging over me at all times"

Someone once told me that the difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal has a deadline. Well said imo (if it's realistic and gets you off your ass working towards that goal, if not, it's not a deadline at all)

you're 28 and already thinking advanced thoughts about retirement

Dude I did this forever. Not that I've done much about it in practice except picking some funds and shit, but living on nothing when you get the chance to do whatever you want and have LOTS of spare time to kill would suck.

let me throw a question out there

does anyone consider getting a college degree worth it solely for the experience and/or the learning? or has it all been about "i need to acquire this piece of paper so i can show it to potential employers" to you?

I think opt.2 is valid in 96.8% of the cases.