:::hugs ang::: Remember, there are no bridges in San Diego.
Well, none that we have to cross over. I had no idea, but I fully understand you and the couple others that have these type of panic attacks. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know, I am here!!! Now let me put a couple of twists in here for those who do not understand what a nervous breakdown does to you (since this is what happened to Martin first).
I had two nervous breakdowns within a three day period in September. Mind you, I am an INCREDIBLY strong person who can be put through almost anything and still survive okay. Last year was the worst year in my entire life. At the beginning of September (when I still hadn't had an attack), my nerves were so shot that I couldn't even listen to ANY metal. Nothing. It was too loud or too bassy or too something and it would make my nerves worse. Now, for anyone that knows me, you would KNOW that that was insanely bad because music is my life, especially metal. I still had music, just no metal. Sept 14th, just a week before I had to move, I was really fragile, but Strapping Young Lad was playing here. These guys are also my friends and I wanted to see them, but I was afraid. I went anyway and figured it will either make me go insane or it'll do me a world of good. Thank goodness it was the latter. I had my first breakdown 5 days later. As I am a strong person, I could not figure out what was happening. You can be fine and then suddenly, I was trying to go to sleep and my whole body started shaking like I was freezing to death. You get hot and cold flashes and you feel like pulling your hair out. Ultimately, it feels like you're losing your mind and there is nothing you can do. I thrashed in bed over and over and over. It's almost like you're being possessed. It literally drives you crazy. For more than a month I could not eat anything but bread with butter and jam on it. I could only drink fruit punch or tea. And most of the time, I just puked that all up. I was prescribed Xanax, which helps, but doesn't cure it. You cannot just turn yourself on and off of whatever is causing it, like someone else said in here. You have no control over it until your crisis is over and something is able to be changed in your life. It took me a month and a half to get over most of it. I still get anxiety attacks on occasion because I still have things in my life that cause it. You can be fine, then not fine all of a sudden. You have very little warning. It just goes "hey, I think I'll bother you today". During this whole time, I couldn't remember SHIT (and I generally have a very very good memory). I could be talking to my best friend next to me and not remember his name. It's that bad.
They way people are saying Martin has mental problems makes it seem like he's crazy like a lunatic or someone that belongs in an insane asylum. That's not true. He is very, very lucky that he has the ability to see someone to help him through his crisis, I didn't get that chance. Hopefully it will do him a lot of good. When you are on tour constantly with very little sleep and on the road nearly 24/7 in a bus and nothing really stable in your life and push yourself beyond what you can handle, it can wear on a person's spirit. If anything, blame the record company for constantly pushing them to tour. If they'd just let up for a few months, Martin could get his life together. And not like the other guys don't need a break too.
I hope this gives you guys more insight on what a breakdown will do to one's self. It may help you understand a bit more and maybe be a little more sympathetic and understanding to the situation at hand.