Animals vs. Humans

Hell Mike

fuck melodic black metal
Aug 22, 2003
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Norrland
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Crossposting this from the GMD social stuff, let's see how the sharp minds of RC tackles this situation!

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War.
Total war, apocalyptic war.
Who would win?

We draw the upper line for animal between negroid and monkey/ape, and the lower limit is insects size bees and up, no one-cell organisms or bacteria and shit involved, same for houseflies, tics etc. because otherwise we'd be screwed in notime.

One day they just fuckin start attacking.

Discuss
 
Chemical, nuclear, biological and laser weapons, handguns, rockets and explosives, rifles, knives and axes and our (in comparison) brilliant minds working in unity against claws, fangs, horns, venom and sheer numbers including pissed-off badgers...
 
Chemical, nuclear, biological and laser weapons, handguns, rockets and explosives, rifles, knives and axes and our (in comparison) brilliant minds working in unity against claws, fangs, horns, venom and sheer numbers including pissed-off badgers...

yeah... we'd definitely win. there'd be massive human casualties, but we would win.
 
I think humans would win easily. Most human casualties would come in under-developed nations.

Now, if technology were taken out of the picture, that would be one hell of an interesting battle. If we could still fashion weapons but only with our hands...old school like Native Americans, etc...that would be crazy. There would be quite a cleansing.
 
We already fight a constant battle against microorganisms. They win most of the time too. I had this patient recently who lanced a boil on her butt herself (as opposed to going to her physician), went to the beach, got in the ocean, got an infection, became septic, went into multi-organ system failure, and DIED. Age? 30.

Anyway, I think we'd win hands down. I mean, I havent seen an animal other than some dumb dogs in years. Not even a racoon. Where are all the animals?!
 
Would these animals be working together? If a bunch of raccoons got on top of a bunch of rhino and the rhino charged into a metropolitan area, all of a sudden, and the raccoons jumped off the rhino and attacked humans while the rhino continued charging an inner city area with all its mighty force... They'd fucking win.

We may have all those weapons, but they have killer instincts and moves we won't be able to predict. Its not easy to tell what a crab is gonna do man... not easy at all.

Or they could use strategies... Some wolves may charge the front, sacrificing themselves, just to act as a distraction for the flank of beavers.

Snakes... Snakes would kick our asses too!
 
Anyway, I think we'd win hands down. I mean, I havent seen an animal other than some dumb dogs in years. Not even a racoon. Where are all the animals?!

Not in cities.

I've seen cougars, wolves, bears and wild-dogs (the multiple generation stray dogs in the wild... not the african kind)... as far as carnivorous animals go.


I'd say the humans would win, but man would we get buttfucked. And yeah, if the entire animal kingdom worked together and coordinated, then we'd be screwed... we'd have to wipe out the planet (plants too) or we'd never get them all... in which case we die anyway.
 
This war would begin with an emergence of rats laced with a Bubonic type disease that easily ravages a great number of our population. Armies of locust then swoop up our crops, leaving those who propose re-institutionalizing slavery without a platform to stand on. Livestock could commit homocide by self imposed genocide via the passing of mad cow disease. And seeing that this would be a surprise attack from the animal kingdom, all dogs at 12 am, in unison, on the night of the initial strike, would sink their jaws in to their master's throat while they slept. This mass frenzy would parlay all Negars to riot, and Mexicans along with them as they have no oranges left to sell (damn locust). Irrational countries in the midst of the chaos would launch several nuclear warheads in to the forests of the wild grizzly battalions, causing a nuclear winter so fierce, that man would have to move underground in to bunkers, where the rage of angry Black Widows and Brown Recluses await.
 
Indeed I have.

I don't feel safe on an airplane anymore unless I bring my Samuel L Jackson action figure to protect me from any serpentes related problems that may occur.