Barack Obama names Dan Swano 'Secretary of Dreaminess'

[mattcira]

DATELINE--Washington D.C.--In a surprise move, President Obama named Swedish sound engineer and prolific song writer Dan Swano 'Secretary of Dreaminess' yesterday, as a shocked Dag Swano looked on.

As a consequence of this stunning announcement, Swano must spend part of his day shirtless, and will trade his car for a white horse with a flowing mane. Also he must spend one hour each chopping wood in the early morning sun while wearing tight jeans.

"He's just so great." Obama said, "especially after meeting him! He said he likes the same things I do too!"

In congress, Vice President Biden was happy to hear the news, "I glad he finally met him. I was getting sick of Barack always talking about him, like 'did you know Dan Swano played drums on Tonight's Decision? OMG!'" Biden continued, "the 2009 budget had to be rewritten several times because the president kept writing 'B.O. + D. S.' in a heart on every page, and originally signed it into law as 'Barack Swano.'"

“When President Obama replaced the Lansdowne portrait of George Washington with a collage he made from Kerrang and Terrorizer clippings of the the tall Swede, I knew [Swano] was a shoo-in get a seat on the cabinet,” said Speaker of the House Pelosi, “a month ago he replaced Jefferson's portrait with a picture he found on the web of then-Secretary of Energy nominee Steven Chu holding his puppy.”

Rumor of Swano's appointment began to swirl in the White House press room just hours after First Lady Michelle Obama was heard joking about the President's early morning shower rendition of "Nightfall Overture".

Secretary of Dreaminess was last held during the Clinton administration by Robert Reich.

 

[mattcira]

btw, I completely and unabashedly stole this from a different discussion forum and re-arranged it to fit Dan's "Legend Profile" ..... its even better than the original.

 

[Earthbound]

This is insane!

Rumor of Swano's appointment began to swirl in the White House press room just hours after First Lady Michelle Obama was heard joking about the President's early morning shower rendition of "Nightfall Overture".

 

[rrjii2000]

It's disrespectful to Dan to even be associated with Obama's dumb ass. Fictional or not!

 

[ojready]

It's disrespectful to Dan to even be associated with Obama's dumb ass. Fictional or not!

central wv.....no wonder

 

[Kheldar]

Hehe, pretty funny . The original one would also be interesting to see.

Btw, I'm curious about what do you US Americans think about your new president? Or is this question too personal?

 

[rrjii2000]

central wv.....no wonder

You could be living on the moon, and still see that he's a fucking liberal wacko that's slowly destroying this once great nation.

 

[ojready]

Hehe, pretty funny . The original one would also be interesting to see.

Btw, I'm curious about what do you US Americans think about your new president? Or is this question too personal?

Bill Maher summed up my feelings pretty well a few weeks ago:

And finally, New Rule: He's your president, not your boyfriend. Now, last week in this space, I criticized President Obama for not fighting corporate influence enough, and it made some liberals very angry. My phone rang off the hook, my email filled up, and Nancy Pelosi got so mad her face moved.

Look, folks, I like Obama, too. I'm just saying, let's not make it a religion.

And, as far as you folks on the right who think that we're now somehow in league, we're not in league. I was criticizing Obama for not being hard enough on the corporate douchebags you live to defend. I don't want to be on your team. Pick another kid.

So, I stand by my words. But, there is another side to the story. And that is that every time Obama tries to take on a progressive cause, there's a major political party standing in his way: the Democrats. Now, people talk a lot about a third political party in America. We don't need a third party. We need a first party. You go to the polls and your choices are the guy who voted for the first Wall Street bailout, or the guy who voted for the next ten.

This year, we're hearing that a public option for health care is unlikely because it doesn't have the support of enough Democrats. Even Ted Kennedy's plan-- Ted Kennedy, yeah -- leaves 37 million uninsured. This is because we don't have a left and a right part in this country anymore. We have a center-right party and a crazy party.

And, over the last 30-odd years, Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital.

So, what we have is one perfectly good party for hedge fund managers, credit card companies, banks, defense contractors, big agriculture and the ************** lobby; that's the Democrats.

And they sit across the aisle from a small group of religious lunatics, flat-earth-ers and Civil War re-enactors who mostly communicate by AM radio and call themselves the Republicans. And who actually worry that Obama is a socialist.

Socialist? He's not even a liberal. I know he's not because he's on TV. And while I see Democrats on television, I don't see actual liberals. And if occasionally you do get to hear Ralph Nader or Noam Chomsky or Dennis Kucinich, they're treated like buffoons. Okay, these are not three of the world's most charismatic men, but then nobody is going to confuse Newt Gingrich for Zac Efron. And I have to look at his fat face on TV more often than that free credit report song.

Shouldn't there be one party that unambiguously supports cutting the military budget, a party that is straight up in favor of gun control, gay marriage, higher taxes on the rich, universal health care--legalizing pot--and steep, direct taxing of polluters? These aren't radical ideas. A majority of Americans are either already for them or would be if they were properly argued and defended.

And what we need is an actual progressive party to represent the millions of Americans who aren't being served by the Democrats. Because, bottom line, Democrats are the new Republicans.

It's like when some Chinese company buys the name of a great old American brand and slaps it on some cheap crap. You buy it out of reflex, and it's only later that you think, wow, I didn't even know Woolworth's made dildos

I'm going to go out on a limb assume rrjii2000 feels differently.

Beyond that, I doubt political discussions are welcome here and don't want to encourage arguments.......so I'll leave it at that.

 

[ojready]

by the way, it ********* out the word farm-a-soot-ical for some reason.

 

[rrjii2000]

I agree this is not the place for political discussion and I'm not gonna go any farther, but America need to Wake Up before it's too late!

 

[mattcira]

way to fuck up a perfectly good nonsense thread, you jamokes! uke::zombie:

 

[batmura]

I agree this is not the place for political discussion and I'm not gonna go any farther, but America need to Wake Up before it's too late!

Are you a Republican?

 

[Kheldar]

way to fuck up a perfectly good nonsense thread, you jamokes! uke::zombie:

Sorry...

Beyond that, I doubt political discussions are welcome here and don't want to encourage arguments.......so I'll leave it at that.

I agree with you, I was just curious. Keep on talking "nonsense"

E: Hmm... actually I could keep on with this:

Dan, why didn't you tell us about your and Obama's friendship?! We are your best friends here in this DS-forum so we should have been informed about this! And don't try to fool us with something "getting under terrorist threat" crap.

 

[Dan M.]

It's disrespectful to Dan to even be associated with Obama's dumb ass. Fictional or not!

I second that statement!

 

[the_fiend]

I second that statement!

+1

 

[Naglfar]

Clearly Obama appointing Dan Swano the Secretary of Dreaminess shows that Obama is a President of superior judgment.

And for all you European apolitical fellows and gals out there, in European speak, the difference between Obama and Bush is between the smack dab center and center right. Proclamations of socialism and fascism by nutjobs on both sides should be cackled at and then ignored. =)

Obama is a smart fellow, I might add.

 

[Timmeth]

I am a convert!

 

[SarahC]

lol.

 

[thespectralsorrows]

Bill Maher summed up my feelings pretty well a few weeks ago:



I'm going to go out on a limb assume rrjii2000 feels differently.

Beyond that, I doubt political discussions are welcome here and don't want to encourage arguments.......so I'll leave it at that.

+1, I miss watching Bill Maher since I cancelled HBO, still got Comedy Central for what it's worth.

 

[ojready]

+1, I miss watching Bill Maher since I cancelled HBO, still got Comedy Central for what it's worth.

the show is usually uploaded to youtube and broken down into parts. the show doesn't seem to care (aka they always stay up). I guess it's good publicity.