mindflesh
Rainbow Satan Overflow
Our story so far:
Zeke was weary with despair as he looked up at the cloudy night sky of autumn. He looked at the world...and saw that it was still depraved. He relinquished his fear and prowled about through the vast forests. Suddenly he felt the urge to sacrifice a goat, and drink its blood. He knew the urge was wrong, but continued to slaughter for years to come. He kept repeating after himself Rosseau's words, "that a state of reflection is contrary to nature, and that a thinking man is a depraved animal" He found no escape from his own consciouness. Then, one day, after years of brutily slaughtering goats, an epiphany hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought, " this is not my purpose, this is not my quest. I have been a fool for all these years. Goats are not for sacrifice. They are for loving." So he started to make love with the goats. But he realised that goats were not the meaning of life, moved to Wales and made loved to a sheep instead. He realized this was his true call, or was it?... After some months he started becaming serious with a certain young sheep. He even thought about marrage, but the sheep was cheating on poor Zeke. So, he killed it out of his disgust in a bloody fury. Zeke decided to take the sheeps blood and go to the nearest catholic church. He began to eat what was left of the poor creature, when suddenly a herd of sheep came along. On the way to the church he was arrested by the police for murder and sent to court. He fortunately came into contact with a nice lawyer named john Cockrin. In the court he fell asleep... and when he awakened, he realized that he was no longer Zeke. Now his name was Ed, and he was a leper. The judge who sat on the oak, told Ed: "I've been sitting on this damn oak for three hundred forty-five years now, and it's getting bloody boring! if you help me down I'll cure your disease AND throw in a great pair of kitchen knives... BUT THAT'S NOT ALL....help me now, and you'll also get this little hand juice-squeezer at no extra cost!"
After contemplating the idea of owning his very own hand juice-squeezer, Ed couldn't refuse, and he started to gnaw at the base of the judge's tree, with a slight hope that there might be a sheep inside. So he let him down, and with his cured disease, used his past Goat slaughtering, sheep fucking, blood drinking, leper past as lyrics for his black metal band Goatblut, which was a total failure 'cause the rest of the blackmetalers thought the leprosy-curing lyrics were too x-tian for the scene.
Then everybody watched the BIG news on TV: "the pope hung himself because he couldn't pay for Ren & Stimpy when Nickelodeon got the pay-per-view system..." So Ed and the Judge used the blood of the slain lamb to reanimate the pope's lifeless body. They reinstated him as the head of the church and controlled him like a voodoo puppet. But one girl named Sophia, saw through all of this and decided to discredit the pope by starting a huge Clintonian sex scandal with him. Sophia infiltrated the Vatican as a nun. She had to get closer to the Pope if she was to ever gather enough evidence to expose the scandal. She knew the mysterious Ed and the nameless old judge were behind it; she just didn't know what they were behind. Well, actually she did know what they were behind. She'd just seen Ed behind a sheep, and someone who looked like the judge behind Ed. Now if only she knew what their plan was... She finds out that the sheep, Ed, and the judge plan to use the Pope to market Goatsblut's 1st album "Sheepfucking Nihilism War"...she concedes that it IS a great plan and joins as the female vocalist, only to be sacked quickly as female vocals are just fucking cheesy...
Sophia could not bear this humiliation, and went into a nervous breakdown and became permanently insane. Henceforth, her name will be Sophkaz, and she serves the cow-god Mooocifer. The cow god Mooocifer was a mighty creature... 1000 nipples spurting all kinds of milk...even low fat chocolate... And so the newly annointed Sophkaz gathered a cult to worship the cow-god Mooocifer. When enough minions were gathered, Moocifer decided that sheep were his enemy, and those who fuck sheep, collaborators. Sophkaz soon declared a holy war on Ed, the judge, the sheep, and the Pope.
The Goatsblut members organized a large benefit concert; they claimed all the income would go to abused lambs, but the truth is that they used the money to finance a huge private army for the upcoming holy war against Mooocifer and his/her followers. But nay, it was all in vain, for the Force of the Members of Goatsblut (or FOTMOG, as the army came to be known) were routed from the battlefield and took refuge in a load of caves which backfired, as errant US warheads slammed into the caves, decimating the forces and once again leaving only Ed. The explosion knocked him in the head and he regained his memory of being Zeke... he looked around in the cave, and thought : "umm....what the **** happened to that court-thing??" Zeke immediatly left the cave fled across the countryside in a state of absolute terror. The bodies of the dead were still fresh in his mind's eye. He ran for hours in random directions. seemingly unaware of his surroundings. He ran until his feet bled. He ran until dusk when he happened upon a small cottage nestled upon a forlorn hillside. Smoke billowed from the chimney and the smell of roast carried on the northwind. Zeke moved stolidly toward the cottage without hesitation, he knew what had to be done. Zeke was confused, tired, and hungry to the point of famine. He decided to try to play on the sympathy of the owner of the cottage to get a free meal, and if the owner refused, take the food from him by force, along with whatever valuables were around. He knocked at the door of the cottage, waited; then knocked again, until finally someone opened it: It was Fred Durst! But before he could say a word he was hacked into pieces by Zeke. Zeke then proceeded to store dursts body away in little cling film bags, to add to freshness. then he gave dursts hat to his beloved goat, who inturn ate it and shat it out, his blood was now poisoned. Zeke had no choice but to change his name to Zekee. The goats went mad. After some frantic scientific research, Zekee discovered that his goat had the ability of nematodes (to absorb the memory of ingested animals). His goat was actually crazy because it had absorbed the memory of fred durst's hat.
(Hope I didn't forget anything)
Zeke was weary with despair as he looked up at the cloudy night sky of autumn. He looked at the world...and saw that it was still depraved. He relinquished his fear and prowled about through the vast forests. Suddenly he felt the urge to sacrifice a goat, and drink its blood. He knew the urge was wrong, but continued to slaughter for years to come. He kept repeating after himself Rosseau's words, "that a state of reflection is contrary to nature, and that a thinking man is a depraved animal" He found no escape from his own consciouness. Then, one day, after years of brutily slaughtering goats, an epiphany hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought, " this is not my purpose, this is not my quest. I have been a fool for all these years. Goats are not for sacrifice. They are for loving." So he started to make love with the goats. But he realised that goats were not the meaning of life, moved to Wales and made loved to a sheep instead. He realized this was his true call, or was it?... After some months he started becaming serious with a certain young sheep. He even thought about marrage, but the sheep was cheating on poor Zeke. So, he killed it out of his disgust in a bloody fury. Zeke decided to take the sheeps blood and go to the nearest catholic church. He began to eat what was left of the poor creature, when suddenly a herd of sheep came along. On the way to the church he was arrested by the police for murder and sent to court. He fortunately came into contact with a nice lawyer named john Cockrin. In the court he fell asleep... and when he awakened, he realized that he was no longer Zeke. Now his name was Ed, and he was a leper. The judge who sat on the oak, told Ed: "I've been sitting on this damn oak for three hundred forty-five years now, and it's getting bloody boring! if you help me down I'll cure your disease AND throw in a great pair of kitchen knives... BUT THAT'S NOT ALL....help me now, and you'll also get this little hand juice-squeezer at no extra cost!"
After contemplating the idea of owning his very own hand juice-squeezer, Ed couldn't refuse, and he started to gnaw at the base of the judge's tree, with a slight hope that there might be a sheep inside. So he let him down, and with his cured disease, used his past Goat slaughtering, sheep fucking, blood drinking, leper past as lyrics for his black metal band Goatblut, which was a total failure 'cause the rest of the blackmetalers thought the leprosy-curing lyrics were too x-tian for the scene.
Then everybody watched the BIG news on TV: "the pope hung himself because he couldn't pay for Ren & Stimpy when Nickelodeon got the pay-per-view system..." So Ed and the Judge used the blood of the slain lamb to reanimate the pope's lifeless body. They reinstated him as the head of the church and controlled him like a voodoo puppet. But one girl named Sophia, saw through all of this and decided to discredit the pope by starting a huge Clintonian sex scandal with him. Sophia infiltrated the Vatican as a nun. She had to get closer to the Pope if she was to ever gather enough evidence to expose the scandal. She knew the mysterious Ed and the nameless old judge were behind it; she just didn't know what they were behind. Well, actually she did know what they were behind. She'd just seen Ed behind a sheep, and someone who looked like the judge behind Ed. Now if only she knew what their plan was... She finds out that the sheep, Ed, and the judge plan to use the Pope to market Goatsblut's 1st album "Sheepfucking Nihilism War"...she concedes that it IS a great plan and joins as the female vocalist, only to be sacked quickly as female vocals are just fucking cheesy...
Sophia could not bear this humiliation, and went into a nervous breakdown and became permanently insane. Henceforth, her name will be Sophkaz, and she serves the cow-god Mooocifer. The cow god Mooocifer was a mighty creature... 1000 nipples spurting all kinds of milk...even low fat chocolate... And so the newly annointed Sophkaz gathered a cult to worship the cow-god Mooocifer. When enough minions were gathered, Moocifer decided that sheep were his enemy, and those who fuck sheep, collaborators. Sophkaz soon declared a holy war on Ed, the judge, the sheep, and the Pope.
The Goatsblut members organized a large benefit concert; they claimed all the income would go to abused lambs, but the truth is that they used the money to finance a huge private army for the upcoming holy war against Mooocifer and his/her followers. But nay, it was all in vain, for the Force of the Members of Goatsblut (or FOTMOG, as the army came to be known) were routed from the battlefield and took refuge in a load of caves which backfired, as errant US warheads slammed into the caves, decimating the forces and once again leaving only Ed. The explosion knocked him in the head and he regained his memory of being Zeke... he looked around in the cave, and thought : "umm....what the **** happened to that court-thing??" Zeke immediatly left the cave fled across the countryside in a state of absolute terror. The bodies of the dead were still fresh in his mind's eye. He ran for hours in random directions. seemingly unaware of his surroundings. He ran until his feet bled. He ran until dusk when he happened upon a small cottage nestled upon a forlorn hillside. Smoke billowed from the chimney and the smell of roast carried on the northwind. Zeke moved stolidly toward the cottage without hesitation, he knew what had to be done. Zeke was confused, tired, and hungry to the point of famine. He decided to try to play on the sympathy of the owner of the cottage to get a free meal, and if the owner refused, take the food from him by force, along with whatever valuables were around. He knocked at the door of the cottage, waited; then knocked again, until finally someone opened it: It was Fred Durst! But before he could say a word he was hacked into pieces by Zeke. Zeke then proceeded to store dursts body away in little cling film bags, to add to freshness. then he gave dursts hat to his beloved goat, who inturn ate it and shat it out, his blood was now poisoned. Zeke had no choice but to change his name to Zekee. The goats went mad. After some frantic scientific research, Zekee discovered that his goat had the ability of nematodes (to absorb the memory of ingested animals). His goat was actually crazy because it had absorbed the memory of fred durst's hat.
(Hope I didn't forget anything)
