Zauberpilze während des Weihnachtsfests 2/12/06
Yesterday, the first of December, Aaron and I took a short train journey to the nearest city to Marburg, Gießen. Gießen is ugly, but when one is looking for something specific, sometimes one has to visit unpleasant places. And thus was the case yesterday. We went to a small esoteric shop and bought 25 grams of Philosophers Stones hallucinogenic mushrooms. And then we were gone from Gießen.
I was feeling tired and untalkative as we returned back to our rooms in Wehrda. I was not feeling the powerful excitement of taking mushrooms in a few hours that I felt the first time we took mushrooms after going to Gießen; and, this time we bought a dose that was more than double the dose we took last time.
I was to meet Aaron at 7 in his room to smoke a little grass to relax before feasting. In the meantime I read, ate a brat, and checked some things online. I read about the Philosophers Stones online; 5-9 grams was a normal dose, 10-15 was a strong trip. We were to eat 25 grams. We had so many mushrooms, that it took me over ten minutes just to get them down. These mushrooms were not particularly disgusting, but shrooming is always a grim, unusual task. I gagged but kept it all down like I always do. And once they were down, we had to leave, to get into town. Aaron had said beforehand that he was going to sleep at the castle towering over all of Marburg. It was a cold night but he was packed and ready. I was not sure if I would end up up there with him, but first we perhaps wanted to have a drink in a pub or something. I wanted something quite while they started to work.
So, we took a 20:11 bus into town. I was feeling quite giggly and just a bit more unusual than I would in normal waking reality. As the bus progressed, more and more people boarded. At some bus stops we were waiting for a good five minutes. Normally, the bus ride from Wehrda to central Marburg is 20 minutes or so but on this night it lasted over 40. Something was going on in town and we were about to be flung into this large, unexpected festival just as the exorbitant about of drugs were kicking in.
We got off the bus almost an hour after eating the mushrooms and my friend Tyler was there, with some of his German friends. He was speaking in German with us but my quickly clouding brain was already having trouble working abstractly with English, never mind German. He knew we had gotten the mushrooms earlier and was looking at us funny but we were not really tripping and I told so. In any case, we separated shortly after because he and his friends were about to go out drinking.
Things were becoming crazier. There was such a mob of people in the city center that getting an elevator to the Oberstadt, the large hill of Marburg with dozens of shops, cafes, and ultimately the castle towering over all. So we had to take a long way around and walk up. The phase of my trip was steadily increasing. For this humongous festival that we had no idea was going to occur last night, there were lots of colorful lights upon all the big buildings in the area. They were naturally fun to look at and absorb. We continued our way up to the Oberstadt by an old university building with pretty lights on it.
The drugs were hitting me and we were soon caught up in the massive mob. I was smoking cigarettes repeatedly because shrooms make me want to do that. We were pressing onward through this mob, trying to get to the other side of the Oberstadt in order to find a couple girls Aaron wanted to meet up with and perhaps drink with. We had to keep taking breaks because it was really starting to freak me out that we had just happened upon this first of December Christmas fest. I needed to keep composing myself against buildings, probably attracting more attention than if I were in the mob. Eventually we made it to the large market square of the Oberstadt and that is when things get fuzzy and I cant remember what was true and was not. Magic mushrooms have an odd paralyzing quality on me. I do not like to go out into the world while on them. I like to relax and sit down because moving is so damn difficult. I was having difficulty walking along with this mob. Past the market square, people were not looking normal. This street we were now on was THE street of the fest. There were large Christmas signs and decorations swung between buildings. Many people had black eyes and were staring at me. It was taking longer for Aaron to absorb the drugs I think.
Walking down the street, my mind went somewhere. It was not with me, I can assure that. It was impossible to comprehend where I was I thought that the Oberstadt was in actuality a small village that I lived in. This is most difficult to explain because it is so beyond reality that there is not a good enough method save a direct mental connection that could clarify it for anyone but me. But I was plunged into this Christmas village and had no idea where the hell I was.
Aaron called the girls when we got out of the Oberstadt and were waiting on the busiest street in Marburg, next to a store called H&M. They were caught up in at as well but we would soon be meeting them. We were just standing there and the paralysis forced me to sit. I wanted to keep smoking but it was impossible to light my cigarette. I think Aaron helped me do it. Then, he started acting different. He became very serious and was telling me to act normal when we found these girls. Normal!? After 25 grams!? That was uncomprehendable. Nevertheless I kept telling him how ripped to pieces I was but he was getting upset every time I did.
From down on that busy street, looking up at the entrance of the Oberstadt, there were huge signs and lots of people. It was an entrance into another world, another reality. Eventually he called them again and we found them sitting on a wall in a less-busy part of the Oberstadt. We walked back up into the bustle of the small village. I just wanted to sit down and let things happen to me but we had to keep walking. The girls were hungry and complaining and bitching and it was all too much. But I followed because I had no idea where I was and there was no sanity to be found.
I found myself being led into the back of a small pizza place and we all sat at a pathetic little table. Aaron was intent on being stern, serious, and trying to act as normal as possible for these girls. For what reason, I have no idea, but he said later that is just what shrooms do to him; they turn him into a dick. Inside this restaurant I was going crazy. The floor was doing things that floors werent meant to do. The hallway to the side of me leading further back to bathrooms or something kept warping so viciously, that I felt as if I was being swept into an even more foreign realm that I could not come back from. Aaron was sitting there and the girls were gone getting food so I kept telling him how messed up I was despite his wish for me not to. They soon returned and I tried the normal thing for all of twenty seconds or so before I was going bonkers and could not keep up that most hard of acts.
I wanted to leave because I felt it might be an ambulance night if I could not get out and stop attracting attention. Aaron told me how to leave but that sense of having no idea where I was prevented me from having any idea about what he was talking about. He brought me outside and tried pointing me to the bus stop and then he left and I still had no idea where I was and where to go and how to walk. I needed to find some sanity to bring me home and Tyler has been a great friend since we met at the beginning of September. I called him once, twice, who knows how many times but I managed to waste a shit ton of money on my phone. I did reach him and he was at a bar I knew well. Somehow I found my way there and went inside. He was not there and everyone was looking at me so strangely with their black eyes and I got the hell out before the ambulance came for me. I called again outside the bar and he told me to wait there. I do not know what happened during the waiting period but it might be better kept that way.
Tyler showed up and brought me to the bus stop I needed to be at. He brought me home and I feel to bad to have ruined his night and ripped him away from his German friends but I needed it to happen and I am glad that it did. He was making conversation at the bus stop with a couple random Germans and he was telling them I was very high no wait, he is more than high. I stood there with my huge eyeballs until the bus came.
It was crowded but we got a couple seats. I still could not place where I was. I kept asking him what I had done, where we were it was all gone from me. I kept asking myself, Did I really just eat an exorbitant amount of mushrooms? Tyler kept trying to get answers from me as to how much I had eaten and what not but I could not for the life of me work it out and give him an answer. I do remember repeatedly telling him, I have no idea whats going on, and that was the honest-to-goodness truth.
We were in his room and I was smoking and having a good time looking at everything being crazy. He was smoking a joint by his window. I dont know what was said in that room but I hope to find out later on. We went up to my room and I was being real creepy, walking against walls, staring out the windows on each stair landing. It was an arduous task opening the necessary doors that needed to be opened with my key.
The cigarette smoking continued in my room and ashtrays are ALWAYS very fun to look at when one has consumed mushrooms. Before Aaron and I had eaten the mushrooms, we had visited our weed man downstairs in my building and he had told up he was baking cookies later on in the evening. I had remembered this and suggested to Tyler that we go down there even though I had zero desire to intake marijuana. He brought me down even though he probably knew it was foolish. Inside the weed mans room, thinks were extremely awkward and Im sure it was for Tyler too. My German was out of order so I could not even communicate with my two German friends who were down there. A movie was on his TV and it was unreal. People on the movie kept melting with a powerful force, as if they were made of black, gruesome water that was being forced down to the bottom of the screen by a sheer wind.
I wanted to go upstairs so I left without eating any cookies. I think Tyler brought me up and then I locked myself in when he left. I took an extremely creepy video of myself and The Flower Kings are playing in the background. I knew I had to take my contact lenses out but it took me a very long time to break my paralysis and get up and do it. After that I ripped all my clothes off and got into bed with my IPOD which blasted my sanity.
The bed scene is beyond description but I will attempt to do it anyway. I found many secrets of the universe that made perfect, unmitigated, unconvoluted sense at the time but those secrets do not return with one back into sobriety. I wish I had had a notebook. I kept rubbing my face into my bed and pillow and the noises that accompanied that rubbing yielded some of those secrets. When I would do it, undescriptable noises would follow their stream into a peaking finale where I could absorb their secrets and then I would reverse the rubbing pattern to bring them back to their origin. I bit myself. I chewed on blankets. I was devolved into a crude beast. Listening to Blut Aus Nord in between philosophical revelations and awakenings put me over multiple edges that made my eyes bulge from my sockets and cringe in ultimate fear.
Then my phone rang. It was a struggle to pull myself from whatever unspeakable level I had emerged myself into and answer it but I succeeded. It was Aaron. He was back in Wehrda, in a little park in between our buildings. I felt so naked when I got up that even putting clothes on did not seem like it would even work in covering me. I did get them on and it was a tough thing to do, and I looked like a complete psychotic wreck when I left my room and ventured back into those dark hallways. I got outside and ran up a small hill to find Aaron sitting with a huge joint that had been rolled before we feasted. He was in a very peaceful place as opposed to my scanning, alert state.
Short story about what happened to Aaron as he recited it to me (and as I remember it) in the late hours of last night, beginning to come down from our trips: Soon after I left, they all left that pizza place and he was starting to get hit quite hard. He had a circle of thoughts in his head and soon he had met up with some other people we knew. We are going to talk about all that happened later on today, hopefully with Tyler, so maybe I can clarify a little more about his trip later on. He eventually continued on with the two girls to another bar but then lost it, said he was going to the bathroom, and never returned. He wanted to go home and the castle was not going to happen this time. He walked to the Hauptbahnhof, which is a kilometer or so from that bar he was at, and tried to get a bus. The bus he boarded, however, was going back INTO town and I imagine the shrooms made him feel REALLY weird at that point. He got off the bus when he realized it and walked all the way to Wehrda, which was 6 or 7 kilometers from his position at that time and about an hours walk away. That walk must have been something. That joint was on him the whole time and he could not stop thinking about the police getting him. At the Wehrda Burgerhaus, he walked into a forest and found an old train, sat on the ground, and seemingly did the same exact thing I did in my bed but with dirt and leaves. And then he got to the park.
We went to his room to talk and smoke that massive joint which had great significance. Aaron is leaving soon; he does not wish to continue handling the madness of Germany and he is returning home. We have been together every day for the past few weeks, drinking, smoking, and doing mushrooms a couple times. So that joint was a toast, a cheers, a prost to these three turbulent weeks that ended with the craziest trip of ours lives. I think we still have a little more partying in ourselves but that seemed like the capstone and we smoked that joint for an hour, talking, coming down, and writing them, our words that will stay with us forever in his notebook. We will be looking at it today. I was still seeing neat things in his room. When I was writing it was like an interactive picture. There were faces everywhere, in the curtains, in an orange on a bottle, everywhere. It was a hazy feeling but extremely pleasant. I kept staring into a corner on the floor and there were black anomalies in the air above the ground. The flowers on the curtains were mushrooms. It was a beautiful however-long. I left at some point and sat in bed a while more, with dark thoughts about life.
Yesterday, the first of December, Aaron and I took a short train journey to the nearest city to Marburg, Gießen. Gießen is ugly, but when one is looking for something specific, sometimes one has to visit unpleasant places. And thus was the case yesterday. We went to a small esoteric shop and bought 25 grams of Philosophers Stones hallucinogenic mushrooms. And then we were gone from Gießen.
I was feeling tired and untalkative as we returned back to our rooms in Wehrda. I was not feeling the powerful excitement of taking mushrooms in a few hours that I felt the first time we took mushrooms after going to Gießen; and, this time we bought a dose that was more than double the dose we took last time.
I was to meet Aaron at 7 in his room to smoke a little grass to relax before feasting. In the meantime I read, ate a brat, and checked some things online. I read about the Philosophers Stones online; 5-9 grams was a normal dose, 10-15 was a strong trip. We were to eat 25 grams. We had so many mushrooms, that it took me over ten minutes just to get them down. These mushrooms were not particularly disgusting, but shrooming is always a grim, unusual task. I gagged but kept it all down like I always do. And once they were down, we had to leave, to get into town. Aaron had said beforehand that he was going to sleep at the castle towering over all of Marburg. It was a cold night but he was packed and ready. I was not sure if I would end up up there with him, but first we perhaps wanted to have a drink in a pub or something. I wanted something quite while they started to work.
So, we took a 20:11 bus into town. I was feeling quite giggly and just a bit more unusual than I would in normal waking reality. As the bus progressed, more and more people boarded. At some bus stops we were waiting for a good five minutes. Normally, the bus ride from Wehrda to central Marburg is 20 minutes or so but on this night it lasted over 40. Something was going on in town and we were about to be flung into this large, unexpected festival just as the exorbitant about of drugs were kicking in.
We got off the bus almost an hour after eating the mushrooms and my friend Tyler was there, with some of his German friends. He was speaking in German with us but my quickly clouding brain was already having trouble working abstractly with English, never mind German. He knew we had gotten the mushrooms earlier and was looking at us funny but we were not really tripping and I told so. In any case, we separated shortly after because he and his friends were about to go out drinking.
Things were becoming crazier. There was such a mob of people in the city center that getting an elevator to the Oberstadt, the large hill of Marburg with dozens of shops, cafes, and ultimately the castle towering over all. So we had to take a long way around and walk up. The phase of my trip was steadily increasing. For this humongous festival that we had no idea was going to occur last night, there were lots of colorful lights upon all the big buildings in the area. They were naturally fun to look at and absorb. We continued our way up to the Oberstadt by an old university building with pretty lights on it.
The drugs were hitting me and we were soon caught up in the massive mob. I was smoking cigarettes repeatedly because shrooms make me want to do that. We were pressing onward through this mob, trying to get to the other side of the Oberstadt in order to find a couple girls Aaron wanted to meet up with and perhaps drink with. We had to keep taking breaks because it was really starting to freak me out that we had just happened upon this first of December Christmas fest. I needed to keep composing myself against buildings, probably attracting more attention than if I were in the mob. Eventually we made it to the large market square of the Oberstadt and that is when things get fuzzy and I cant remember what was true and was not. Magic mushrooms have an odd paralyzing quality on me. I do not like to go out into the world while on them. I like to relax and sit down because moving is so damn difficult. I was having difficulty walking along with this mob. Past the market square, people were not looking normal. This street we were now on was THE street of the fest. There were large Christmas signs and decorations swung between buildings. Many people had black eyes and were staring at me. It was taking longer for Aaron to absorb the drugs I think.
Walking down the street, my mind went somewhere. It was not with me, I can assure that. It was impossible to comprehend where I was I thought that the Oberstadt was in actuality a small village that I lived in. This is most difficult to explain because it is so beyond reality that there is not a good enough method save a direct mental connection that could clarify it for anyone but me. But I was plunged into this Christmas village and had no idea where the hell I was.
Aaron called the girls when we got out of the Oberstadt and were waiting on the busiest street in Marburg, next to a store called H&M. They were caught up in at as well but we would soon be meeting them. We were just standing there and the paralysis forced me to sit. I wanted to keep smoking but it was impossible to light my cigarette. I think Aaron helped me do it. Then, he started acting different. He became very serious and was telling me to act normal when we found these girls. Normal!? After 25 grams!? That was uncomprehendable. Nevertheless I kept telling him how ripped to pieces I was but he was getting upset every time I did.
From down on that busy street, looking up at the entrance of the Oberstadt, there were huge signs and lots of people. It was an entrance into another world, another reality. Eventually he called them again and we found them sitting on a wall in a less-busy part of the Oberstadt. We walked back up into the bustle of the small village. I just wanted to sit down and let things happen to me but we had to keep walking. The girls were hungry and complaining and bitching and it was all too much. But I followed because I had no idea where I was and there was no sanity to be found.
I found myself being led into the back of a small pizza place and we all sat at a pathetic little table. Aaron was intent on being stern, serious, and trying to act as normal as possible for these girls. For what reason, I have no idea, but he said later that is just what shrooms do to him; they turn him into a dick. Inside this restaurant I was going crazy. The floor was doing things that floors werent meant to do. The hallway to the side of me leading further back to bathrooms or something kept warping so viciously, that I felt as if I was being swept into an even more foreign realm that I could not come back from. Aaron was sitting there and the girls were gone getting food so I kept telling him how messed up I was despite his wish for me not to. They soon returned and I tried the normal thing for all of twenty seconds or so before I was going bonkers and could not keep up that most hard of acts.
I wanted to leave because I felt it might be an ambulance night if I could not get out and stop attracting attention. Aaron told me how to leave but that sense of having no idea where I was prevented me from having any idea about what he was talking about. He brought me outside and tried pointing me to the bus stop and then he left and I still had no idea where I was and where to go and how to walk. I needed to find some sanity to bring me home and Tyler has been a great friend since we met at the beginning of September. I called him once, twice, who knows how many times but I managed to waste a shit ton of money on my phone. I did reach him and he was at a bar I knew well. Somehow I found my way there and went inside. He was not there and everyone was looking at me so strangely with their black eyes and I got the hell out before the ambulance came for me. I called again outside the bar and he told me to wait there. I do not know what happened during the waiting period but it might be better kept that way.
Tyler showed up and brought me to the bus stop I needed to be at. He brought me home and I feel to bad to have ruined his night and ripped him away from his German friends but I needed it to happen and I am glad that it did. He was making conversation at the bus stop with a couple random Germans and he was telling them I was very high no wait, he is more than high. I stood there with my huge eyeballs until the bus came.
It was crowded but we got a couple seats. I still could not place where I was. I kept asking him what I had done, where we were it was all gone from me. I kept asking myself, Did I really just eat an exorbitant amount of mushrooms? Tyler kept trying to get answers from me as to how much I had eaten and what not but I could not for the life of me work it out and give him an answer. I do remember repeatedly telling him, I have no idea whats going on, and that was the honest-to-goodness truth.
We were in his room and I was smoking and having a good time looking at everything being crazy. He was smoking a joint by his window. I dont know what was said in that room but I hope to find out later on. We went up to my room and I was being real creepy, walking against walls, staring out the windows on each stair landing. It was an arduous task opening the necessary doors that needed to be opened with my key.
The cigarette smoking continued in my room and ashtrays are ALWAYS very fun to look at when one has consumed mushrooms. Before Aaron and I had eaten the mushrooms, we had visited our weed man downstairs in my building and he had told up he was baking cookies later on in the evening. I had remembered this and suggested to Tyler that we go down there even though I had zero desire to intake marijuana. He brought me down even though he probably knew it was foolish. Inside the weed mans room, thinks were extremely awkward and Im sure it was for Tyler too. My German was out of order so I could not even communicate with my two German friends who were down there. A movie was on his TV and it was unreal. People on the movie kept melting with a powerful force, as if they were made of black, gruesome water that was being forced down to the bottom of the screen by a sheer wind.
I wanted to go upstairs so I left without eating any cookies. I think Tyler brought me up and then I locked myself in when he left. I took an extremely creepy video of myself and The Flower Kings are playing in the background. I knew I had to take my contact lenses out but it took me a very long time to break my paralysis and get up and do it. After that I ripped all my clothes off and got into bed with my IPOD which blasted my sanity.
The bed scene is beyond description but I will attempt to do it anyway. I found many secrets of the universe that made perfect, unmitigated, unconvoluted sense at the time but those secrets do not return with one back into sobriety. I wish I had had a notebook. I kept rubbing my face into my bed and pillow and the noises that accompanied that rubbing yielded some of those secrets. When I would do it, undescriptable noises would follow their stream into a peaking finale where I could absorb their secrets and then I would reverse the rubbing pattern to bring them back to their origin. I bit myself. I chewed on blankets. I was devolved into a crude beast. Listening to Blut Aus Nord in between philosophical revelations and awakenings put me over multiple edges that made my eyes bulge from my sockets and cringe in ultimate fear.
Then my phone rang. It was a struggle to pull myself from whatever unspeakable level I had emerged myself into and answer it but I succeeded. It was Aaron. He was back in Wehrda, in a little park in between our buildings. I felt so naked when I got up that even putting clothes on did not seem like it would even work in covering me. I did get them on and it was a tough thing to do, and I looked like a complete psychotic wreck when I left my room and ventured back into those dark hallways. I got outside and ran up a small hill to find Aaron sitting with a huge joint that had been rolled before we feasted. He was in a very peaceful place as opposed to my scanning, alert state.
Short story about what happened to Aaron as he recited it to me (and as I remember it) in the late hours of last night, beginning to come down from our trips: Soon after I left, they all left that pizza place and he was starting to get hit quite hard. He had a circle of thoughts in his head and soon he had met up with some other people we knew. We are going to talk about all that happened later on today, hopefully with Tyler, so maybe I can clarify a little more about his trip later on. He eventually continued on with the two girls to another bar but then lost it, said he was going to the bathroom, and never returned. He wanted to go home and the castle was not going to happen this time. He walked to the Hauptbahnhof, which is a kilometer or so from that bar he was at, and tried to get a bus. The bus he boarded, however, was going back INTO town and I imagine the shrooms made him feel REALLY weird at that point. He got off the bus when he realized it and walked all the way to Wehrda, which was 6 or 7 kilometers from his position at that time and about an hours walk away. That walk must have been something. That joint was on him the whole time and he could not stop thinking about the police getting him. At the Wehrda Burgerhaus, he walked into a forest and found an old train, sat on the ground, and seemingly did the same exact thing I did in my bed but with dirt and leaves. And then he got to the park.
We went to his room to talk and smoke that massive joint which had great significance. Aaron is leaving soon; he does not wish to continue handling the madness of Germany and he is returning home. We have been together every day for the past few weeks, drinking, smoking, and doing mushrooms a couple times. So that joint was a toast, a cheers, a prost to these three turbulent weeks that ended with the craziest trip of ours lives. I think we still have a little more partying in ourselves but that seemed like the capstone and we smoked that joint for an hour, talking, coming down, and writing them, our words that will stay with us forever in his notebook. We will be looking at it today. I was still seeing neat things in his room. When I was writing it was like an interactive picture. There were faces everywhere, in the curtains, in an orange on a bottle, everywhere. It was a hazy feeling but extremely pleasant. I kept staring into a corner on the floor and there were black anomalies in the air above the ground. The flowers on the curtains were mushrooms. It was a beautiful however-long. I left at some point and sat in bed a while more, with dark thoughts about life.
