Dudez with kidz

[dorian gray]

yeah, so the demon child is coming in a couple weeks. life is going to COMPLETELY change. how do you duderz (and chickz) deal with it? i mean, no loud music, no staying up as long as i want, no fucking in the living room (or kitchen or whatever), no violent movies, etc. and an incredible amount of responsibility.
yeah, its easy to be a fucken bum and just raise children haphazardly but i want to be the best. i remember seeing my dads playboys as a kid and i think i was scarred for life. not mention my parents' constant fighting. i dont want any of that shit.
ok, honestly, im just really bummed at not being able to blast nile as loud as possible.
comments please.

 

[Erik]

buy headphones

 

[lizard]

obviously the music thing is an issue cause when the wee babe comes home, he/she'll be sleeping alot, and not just at night. But that's what headphones are for.

but obviously, the sleeping child will still allow for random and spontaneous pokings.

and you'll have to be tolerant of your woman being exhausted at times because she'll be getting up alot in the middle of the night. Although fathers can help alot with diapers and such, sometimes there's no substitute for the mom's presence, and I read somewhere that a woman will hear her baby's crying much easier than a man, and therefore will wake up first most of the time. Just hope the baby isn't collicky. My son wasn't, but I've heard some horror stories.

oh....and wait til your first experience with ear infections and projectile vomiting.

but you are aware that your life is changing, that's way better than being some moron who thinks it won't. Just look at it as the continuation of the process of change that began when she got pregnant; you've had to deal with things like her morning sickness (if there was any), her getting really big, beginning to spend more money preparing for the baby (crib, bottles, blah blah blah).

 

[dorian gray]

thanks for the thoughts.
and, yeah, we've spent what seems like a billion dollars on shit. i didnt realize that strollers cost *hundreds* of dollars. wtf?

with my health care background, stuff like infections and projectile vomiting shouldnt be a problem for me.

@headphones: got 'em. i dont usually like to sit still while listening though. ive been playing music for going on four hours now and ive been all over the house.

a good quote from a friend during our far-from-being-parents days: "the other day i was speeding through town on the way the the childrens hospital ER and saw you guys sitting outside Provence sipping coffee - not a care in the world. man, i hate you."

now that will be us.

oh well.

 

[lizard]

the wheel of time

fuck I just thought of how much disposable diapers are, and how relieved I was when I could begin skipping that aisle.

and my wife had morning sickness all day and all night; we would go to the supermarket and stuff shitloads of those plastic produce bags in our pockets because she barfed so much.

 

[lizard]

also if you guys don't make much money see if you're eligible for the WIC program.

 

[Russell]

@headphones: got 'em. i dont usually like to sit still while listening though. ive been playing music for going on four hours now and ive been all over the house.

Wireless headphones!

 

[dorian gray]

nah, make way too much. but speaking of, my wife tells stories of these fucks in her yoga class that cheat the system and use WIC in spite of their prolific income.

@vomiting: damn. thats insane. shed just puke at random? my wife never had any vomiting issues. shes had pretty bad heatrburn though and consumes organic milk at a rate of a gallon every two days. ive spent literally hundreds of dollars on milk in the past few months.

 

[dorian gray]

Wireless headphones!

ive heard they sound like shit and have a severely limited range.

 

[lizard]

@vomiting: damn. thats insane. shed just puke at random?

pretty much. at one point she was so dehydrated they had to put her on an IV.

 

[dorian gray]

wwwhhhaaa? was this in months 2-4 or thereabouts?

 

[lizard]

yup it was a nightmare.

then, her labor was 16 hours. my ex-boss had all three of her kids in less than two, from water breaking to birth. It was almost like she had worked them into a schedule on her day planner. sometimes life just ain't fair.

 

[dorian gray]

actually 16 hours isnt bad. i mean relatively speaking. also, "labor" is incredibly subjective. your ex-boss's water-breaking doesnt really have much to do with when labor begins. her true labor may have in fact, taken many many hours. you can use this fact against her if she tries to rub it in your face.

 

[cthulufhtagn]

haha my mom was in labor with me for a really long time. i've been a slacker since birth

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

i've been stubborn and a pain in the ass since birth. I was born with something in my throat and came out blue. like... smurf blue.

 

[dorian gray]

@cthulu: heh, they probably had to pull your ass (well, head) out with forceps.

 

[dorian gray]

what in gods name would be in your throat? perhaps the umbilical cord was wrapped around it eh?

 

[lizard]

forceps

around hour 15 of my wife's labour I was thinking, "christ I'm beat...I could really use a nap." And then I thought, gawd, I really am a selfish bastard!

 

[cthulufhtagn]

@cthulu: heh, they probably had to pull your ass (well, head) out with forceps.

huh-uh, c-section

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

no, it was some weird type of like fat shit. I don't know all the details. They also had some fun adventures with one of my nads.