Dudez with kidz

[dorian gray]

forceps

around hour 15 of my wife's labour I was thinking, "christ I'm beat...I could really use a nap." And then I thought, gawd, I really am a selfish bastard!

hahaha, classic. a friend of ours took a sleeping aid for some reason right before his wife into labor. passed out completely for the entire thing. she was furious. he's a genius in my book.

 

[dorian gray]

huh-uh, c-section

i saw one of these recently. i was actually easier to watch than an actual birth. natural birth = grrrrrooooooooossss
c-section = meh (well, for me anyway)

 

[dorian gray]

no, it was some weird type of like fat shit. I don't know all the details. They also had some fun adventures with one of my nads.

do you have a cool fake one or something?

 

[lizard]

that's the deal, she's gonna be pissed at you anyway...."thissssss issssss all your fauuuuuuuuult *groan*"

another pisser was, the fetal monitor would begin signalling a contraction before she even started feeling it, and when it would wash over her she was clawing my forearm something fierce.

for some reason one thing that helped a little was having her lay on her side and massaging her lower back.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

do you have a cool fake one or something?

no, one of the tubes they drop down got twisted somehow so it couldn't drop, so they had to untwist it. Then they had to go in again cause it filled with some fluid shit and had to seal it up. Then they had to go in again and reseal it cause it came undone. This was all when i was less than a year old. It's all 100% intact, it just needed some help.

 

[JayKeeley]

It's all about age at the end of the day, innit. I mean, if you have kids before you've done pretty much everything else you wanted to do, then you're in for some regrets I'm sure.

I can't imagine why 20-somethings would ever want kids. My 20's were the best decade of my life. Likewise, if I was 45 and still single, I'd just give up on the idea of offspring. Who wants to be 55 with a 10 year old kid? Ugh. Talk about generation gap.

 

[NAD]

hahaha, classic. a friend of ours took a sleeping aid for some reason right before his wife into labor. passed out completely for the entire thing. she was furious. he's a genius in my book.

hahahaha

i was a c-section baby. god damn huge head.

 

[dorian gray]

yeah, nads dropping incorrectly is more common than you would think. dont have any stats right now, but its not uncommon.

@lizard: hilarious pregnancy/labor stories. more if you got 'em.

my wife has hired a doula. so im just gonna chill, drink beer, and listen to music. i mean, whats a doula for? am i rite?

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

yeah, the only weird/uncommon part of my brith was that thing in my throat.

 

[dorian gray]

Who wants to be 55 with a 10 year old kid? Ugh. Talk about generation gap.

heh, my buddy is 40 and just had his first. his wife is 10 years his junior though, so i can understand. she was kinda running outta time.

 

[lizard]

when my wife was in the labor room, there was another woman behind a curtain , also in labor, who was demanding to know why her gurney couldn't be wheeled next to the window so she could have a smoke.

she must have been a sergeant's wife.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

The neighbours I had years ago had a child when they were in their late 40s.

 

[dorian gray]

when my wife was in the labor room, there was another woman behind a curtain

wtf? non-private rooms? what era are we talking here lizard? how old *are* you?

@ wanting a smoke. people will go to great lengths sometimes

 

[JayKeeley]

heh, my buddy is 40 and just had his first. his wife is 10 years his junior though, so i can understand. she was kinda running outta time.

Yeah I suppose it's different for men.

"Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 70!"
"Yeah but he was too old to pick them up".

*rimshot*

The neighbours I had years ago had a child when they were in their late 40s.

There's a reason why women go through menopause.

 

[JayKeeley]

when my wife was in the labor room, there was another woman behind a curtain , also in labor, who was demanding to know why her gurney couldn't be wheeled next to the window so she could have a smoke.
.

Wtf? Where was your kid born? Fucking Uganda?!

 

[lizard]

wtf? non-private rooms? what era are we talking here lizard? how old *are* you?

mid 30s

my wife was in the army; so she was sent to a navy hospital to have the baby. Noah cost a grand total of something like $24 because we were charged only a small fee per meal while she was there. So a word to the wise to all of you with women: If she gets pregnant, have her enlist, pronto.

all the women in labor were in a large room with partitions and they would be taken to the delivery room once they had dilated enough.

Wtf? Where was your kid born? Fucking Uganda?!

Great Lakes Naval Training Center, North Chicago, Illinois.

 

[JayKeeley]

all the women in labor were in a large room with partitions and they would be taken to the delivery room once they had dilated enough.

My kids were born at Good Samaritan hospital, NY. The maternity ward there is like the fucking Four Seasons, no shit. I remember holding the wife's hand and watching the olympics while my son was born 'cos we had a plasma TV in our room. All I needed was a bag of peanuts and I was sorted.

 

[dorian gray]

haha! $24. thats awesome. my insurance pays 90%. figuring $10,000 for a standard birth, that leaves me holding the bill for about a grand. not bad.
now, if theres a c-section or something, i dunno. not worried though. thats why i forced the wife to work for years. sos we could have shitloadz of czash stored up. only problem is, we're blowing through it like mad right now. furniture, car repairs, whatever. it never ends.

 

[Hell Mike]

As far as I know you don't pay a cent (or öre) for giving birth here

 

[dorian gray]

you should try it out and let us know for sure.
we dont have socialized health care here but our taxes arent too bad either. its one or the other. frankly, i think socialized health care is bullshit. then again, so is spending BILLIONS on an illegal war.
*near-threadjack*