GarethSE
New Metal Member
- Jul 5, 2008
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Dumbest suggestions by clients
- Thread starter The Unavoidable
- Start date
Harry Hughes
âââ¬â¬
- Apr 25, 2009
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Skinny Viking
¯\(°_o)/¯ How do Lydian?
People like that need help. Or shooting. Or maybe they're one and the same thing
My drummer managed it for an album. However, I should also state that he would practice the songs by himself with a big blinking red light metronome and click into his headphones pretty much everyday. By the time we were ready to track he told me "just let me do my thing".
Also, I'm only talking about him playing by himself with no guitar guide or anything. He was playing to a click when he tracked but it just lets me know how lucky I am to work with a drummer like him, especially since he's not even a drummer
YoRich
Member
This thread is awesome, I might print this shit out and stick it on the studio wall..
Anyway, before a live show I engineered a few years ago..
Guitarist of band - "Will you be mixing our songs, like while we are playing?, how will you know what level things should be? I don't think we need you to mix our sound, we'll probably just bring the mixer we practice with and use that with the PA, it has all our settings on and levels, that will be fine"
Me - "erm, no you won't"
Anyway, before a live show I engineered a few years ago..
Guitarist of band - "Will you be mixing our songs, like while we are playing?, how will you know what level things should be? I don't think we need you to mix our sound, we'll probably just bring the mixer we practice with and use that with the PA, it has all our settings on and levels, that will be fine"
Me - "erm, no you won't"
Mikaël-ange
Member
- Nov 7, 2008
- 2,368
- 1
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A good one come last night (was in french so I tryed to translate)
A local guy I recorded 8 months before call me (he as never paid for his sessions, so I learned by the hard way) last nigh:
LG: I give session payment to your friend for you
me: that cool
Variouts random shit about his bisness...etc
LG:now I want record a full lengh. Possible to pay in several times?
me: you can pay in 2 times; 50% before session and 50% before get final product
LG: sond good
me: how many songs for your FL?
LG: songs? I only have vocal line
me: what? no songs?
LG: no, you need to compose and record all song before I do my vocal line...
:facepalm:
HeadCrusher
Member
We held a Drummer audition yesterday and asked all the drummers to bring a metronome because we want to start using samples live.
Right... So one out of three guys actually brought his metronome.
So we started a song at 170. By the time it was over it was more like 120 or so. Needless to say the drummer was sure he was right on time.
Alright, here comes the second guy. We played one or two songs and then I asked him what he thought about playing to a metronome.
He: "Is it that bad?"
Me: "No, no, it's just fine (it was terrible really...) it's just that we want to play along to some drumloops and stuff."
He: "Also when playing live???"
No, of course not when playing live. I wanna play along to some drumloops while I take a dump...
Right... So one out of three guys actually brought his metronome.
So we started a song at 170. By the time it was over it was more like 120 or so. Needless to say the drummer was sure he was right on time.
Alright, here comes the second guy. We played one or two songs and then I asked him what he thought about playing to a metronome.
He: "Is it that bad?"
Me: "No, no, it's just fine (it was terrible really...) it's just that we want to play along to some drumloops and stuff."
He: "Also when playing live???"
No, of course not when playing live. I wanna play along to some drumloops while I take a dump...
HandsOfDespair
Member
El_Gato
I love this gain
it translates to everyone in the band but the vox if it's not used to hear to itself IME
Executioner213
Ultimate Meatbag
Our bassist doesn't understand how easy it is for him to invoke the Hammer Of Thor behind him when we play live, and how unnecessary it is. He also uses a rather low-middy tone that doesn't really sound good with what we do...he's a huge Gene Simmons fan, and almost has Kiss bass tone down but it isn't really jiving with with the rest of whats onstage. I have fucked with his settings sooo many times, trying to get it as close to Bjorler as I can, but he puts it back to $immons every time. FUCK...and to have that louder than everything is retarded, because then he says us guitar players need to turn up so he can hear us. It's like "FUCK DUDE, Turn your bass down a tad!"
Chryst Krispies
Vanilla Gorilla
C_F_H_13
Protools Guru
Running gag around these parts. For those of you who watch Metalocalypse you'll find this funny.
Whenever a bassplayer says something about the volume of the bass, my assistant does says :"Why don't you make like a bass player a be inaudible"
Then he does his best impression of murderface yelling.
Some people find it really funny...others do not. It's a crap shoot but well worth the entertainment for me.
LeSedna
Mat or Mateo
A good one come last night (was in french so I tryed to translate)
A local guy I recorded 8 months before call me (he as never paid for his sessions, so I learned by the hard way) last nigh:
LG: I give session payment to your friend for you
me: that cool
Variouts random shit about his bisness...etc
LG:now I want record a full lengh. Possible to pay in several times?
me: you can pay in 2 times; 50% before session and 50% before get final product
LG: sond good
me: how many songs for your FL?
LG: songs? I only have vocal line
me: what? no songs?
LG: no, you need to compose and record all song before I do my vocal line...
:facepalm:
t'es d'où ?
StefTD
Member
about the bassist thing, the bassist in my old band was really different,
he knew all the songs, knew how to tune his instrument, actually knew
how to tune the other instruments
was able to play in time and said this:
"I think I am to loud, I just turn my volume down a little bit"
And he wasn't to loud!!!
BTT:
As we (my old band) wanted to record our stuff I said:
"ok, so we should record the drums to a click and it would be great
for me to get the drums as seperated tracks (I mean one track with the bassdrum one, snare track and so on)"
so our drummer went to a guy we know and recorded the drums were.
Some time later, he came back to me with 1 cd with all the drums on it.
Yeah, just one stereo track per song with the drums, not the sound I wanted
and not recorded to a click...so +-10 bpm during the song...great!
he knew all the songs, knew how to tune his instrument, actually knew
how to tune the other instruments
was able to play in time and said this:
"I think I am to loud, I just turn my volume down a little bit"
And he wasn't to loud!!!
BTT:
As we (my old band) wanted to record our stuff I said:
"ok, so we should record the drums to a click and it would be great
for me to get the drums as seperated tracks (I mean one track with the bassdrum one, snare track and so on)"
so our drummer went to a guy we know and recorded the drums were.
Some time later, he came back to me with 1 cd with all the drums on it.
Yeah, just one stereo track per song with the drums, not the sound I wanted
and not recorded to a click...so +-10 bpm during the song...great!
AboutBlank
Member
John_C
formerly Skeksis268
I've never had a problem with bassists wanting to be too loud (in my bands). Must be very lucky. The drummer let me tune his drums, would take tips on playing, would listen when i said he wasn't quite getting the feel, bass player would let me mess around with all his settings and keep them the way i set them, would pay attention when i said he sucked and would always practice hard to learn his parts
Guess i was just lucky
Guess i was just lucky
lolzgreg
Cereal Shipping Sneapster
Once, I argued with a singer for a good forty five minutes about a phrase he said he was singing "correctly," so I got up to the microphone, growled the phrase, sat back down. I said, now you do it.
He does the phrase and I play my recording instead of his.
"Wow, I really nailed that take!"
"Now we're going to listen to your take..."
"What? That wasn't me?"
*Singer hears phrase*
"Oh, that one sounds even better!"
The band was hysterically laughing during vocal tracking. Their vocalist's timing was so bad, that every line had to be done a half a phrase at a time and I made them kick him out after that tracking day. Thankfully a good friend stepped up to do the vocals
He does the phrase and I play my recording instead of his.
"Wow, I really nailed that take!"
"Now we're going to listen to your take..."
"What? That wasn't me?"
*Singer hears phrase*
"Oh, that one sounds even better!"
The band was hysterically laughing during vocal tracking. Their vocalist's timing was so bad, that every line had to be done a half a phrase at a time and I made them kick him out after that tracking day. Thankfully a good friend stepped up to do the vocals
Loren Littlejohn
Lover of all boobage.
I got to say, out of anyone in the band, the person I always hate recording is the vocalist. Diva ass morons with no sense of timeing or they want to be a perfectionist without the perfection.
Not a client, but knew a drummer who thought he knew what a compressor was. I told him we need to compress the shit out of the snare, so he grabs a condenser mic and puts it on the snare.
