Fav Simpsons quotes?

[GuyIncognito]

Lisa is in the cafeteria lunchline shortly after complaining to Miss Hoover about her boring class.

Lisa: (to lunchlady Doris) I think you're required to provide us with
a vegetarian alternative.
Lunchylady Doris: Okie, here's a hamburger bun. It's full of bunny
goodness.
Lisa: When did you lose your passion for your job?
********Lunchlady Doris pushes an unseen red button*******
Principally Skinner: (noticing a flashing light in office) Hmmm, that's
two independent thoughts in one day; the children
are overstimulated. Willy! Remove the colored chalk
from the classrooms!
Willy: I told you that chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!!!



hahahahah classic, my favorite!!!

 

[Darth Kur]

How about the one where Homer is being initiated into the Stonecutters"

Homer: "Hey, every ritual is just you guys hitting me in the ass with paddles"

Head Stoncutter: "Now for the final ritual, the paddling of the swollen ass....with paddles"

 

[Cama_Zotz]

(Bart and Lisa watching an old tv show)
Spaceman1: (Hands on neck) Space-air <choke> leaking in...
Spaceman2: Oh no! Everyone, put on your goggles!
(Spacemens put on omni-goggs, and begin breathing)
Spaceman3: Whats that?! <points out window>
Spaceman1: Ah! It's an evil SPACE MONSTER!
(Dog with helmet comes down on a rope)

Lisa: Thats just a dog in a space suit...

 

[arborist]

"Those are prizes..."

 

[anonymousnick2001]

What about:

Apu's cousin- I'm sorry, sir we do not engage in the sale of...follow me!

 

[Psychonaut]

One of my favorites is when Mr. Burns is trying to drive through a mob with the cow catcher on his car and he runs into Comic Book Guy: "Ooh, once again my underpants have become entangled in a cow catcher."

 

[Raven The Molested]

Homer (Looking towards sky): Oh cruel Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?!
Marge: Homer, that isn't our Lord, it's just a waffle Bart tossed up there.
(Camera pans up to show that Homer is looking at a waffle on the ceiling.)
Homer: Mmm, sacrilicious.

 

[Profanity]

Yes I had a stroke-by someone who had a stroke

 

[MagSec4]

Ralph: ..Supernintendo Chalmers

 

[From_The_Ruins]

"can i come too?"
"i was wearing an onion on my belt, as was the style of the time"
"you have my undivided attention (homer pictures cartoon characters dancing to lame tune)"

 

[From_The_Ruins]

oh and when abe is chsing the turtle, "hey that turtles got my teeth"

 

[Cama_Zotz]

Homer to Bart: You can change your name to Homer Jr., and all your friends can call you HoJu!

 

[ElectricWiz]

Homer in a Lesbian bar (Lots of dykish women canoodling about):

Homer: Wait a minute....somethings bothering me about this place. I know! There's no fire escape in this lesbian bar!

He leaves, and on the way out says...
Homer: So long ladies, enjoy your deathtrap!
Some woman at the bar: (looks to woman next to her saying) What was her problem?

 

[svenske kocken]

Not so much a quote but i was damn funny

Homers Daycare Episode.

Flanders: "Homer can you watch the kids tonight, we're going to a christian rock concert."

Then it shows the tickets and they say "Chris Rock"

then when flanders gets back he says: "I've never heard a preacher use the 'n' word so many times in my life"

That's fucking brilliant.

 

[blakmetalemp]

Homer says: "flying a helicopter isnt like driving a car......you have to be sober for that"