"SEX? I had sex once ... what's wrong with hearing your aged father talk about sex? ... Think of me when you're having the best sex of your life!"-Grampa ahah I love that one
What are some of yours?
What are some of yours?
Fav Simpsons quotes?
- Thread starter Clayman
- Start date
Obyeybyeogone
New Metal Member
"I read everything except the opinions page, I don't need anyone that's not dead to tell me what to think!" -Ned Flanders, a perfect example of The Simpson's many religion jokes.
hmn, to hard, i'll just say one thats on my mind,
Homer: what shall i do with all this dirty money
Lisa:well theres lots of needy children out there
Homer: what are you saying lisa? i need to buy a gun
Homer: If hes so great, why is he dead.
and what about the Carnie code
oh oh oh,
Scully: this is a lie detector test, it proves wright from wrong, do you understand?
Homer: Yes (machine explodes, i suppose that one works best when you see it)
Homer: i pay the Homer Tax
Lisa:um dad, thats the home owner tax
ok, i'll stop now
Homer: what shall i do with all this dirty money
Lisa:well theres lots of needy children out there
Homer: what are you saying lisa? i need to buy a gun
Homer: If hes so great, why is he dead.
and what about the Carnie code
oh oh oh,
Scully: this is a lie detector test, it proves wright from wrong, do you understand?
Homer: Yes (machine explodes, i suppose that one works best when you see it)
Homer: i pay the Homer Tax
Lisa:um dad, thats the home owner tax
ok, i'll stop now
I think this one is pretty great:
Abe to Homer: On the way we can have a nice and long father-son-talk.
Homer to Abe: Good, I'll go and shoot myself for bringing this up.
Or:
Bart: "Christian rock? Everyone knows all the best bands worship Satan."
And also Homer's explanations to the rest of the family before sneaking out to the Duff brewery or "Don't look too sad, it's suspicious"
Abe to Homer: On the way we can have a nice and long father-son-talk.
Homer to Abe: Good, I'll go and shoot myself for bringing this up.
Or:
Bart: "Christian rock? Everyone knows all the best bands worship Satan."
And also Homer's explanations to the rest of the family before sneaking out to the Duff brewery or "Don't look too sad, it's suspicious"
TravestyOfMan
What year is this?!?
Abe: "My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist... but he is NOT a porn star."
HoserHellspawn
Pixel Manipulator
Aliens to Humans: "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
Barney (guzzling under beer tap): "Uh oh, my heart just stopped.
...ah, there it goes!" (resumes drinking)
Lawyer: "Isn't true that you have a tattoo on your chest that says "Die Bart Die?"
Sideshow Bob: "No... that's German for 'The Bart, the'".
Parole Judge: "No one who speaks German could be an evil man..."
(and, a classic)
Homer: "Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a package for me."
Some Guy: "Alright, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."
Barney (guzzling under beer tap): "Uh oh, my heart just stopped.
...ah, there it goes!" (resumes drinking)
Lawyer: "Isn't true that you have a tattoo on your chest that says "Die Bart Die?"
Sideshow Bob: "No... that's German for 'The Bart, the'".
Parole Judge: "No one who speaks German could be an evil man..."
(and, a classic)
Homer: "Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a package for me."
Some Guy: "Alright, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."
JesusChristPose
Logic Dictates
My favorite show and always a great thread, I was actually lol while reading all of your replies, okay here is mine...
"Now Lisa, if the bible has taught us anything, and it hasn't, it is that girls should stick to girly sports, like hot-oil mud wrestling, foxy boxy, and such and such."
...more to come.
"Now Lisa, if the bible has taught us anything, and it hasn't, it is that girls should stick to girly sports, like hot-oil mud wrestling, foxy boxy, and such and such."
...more to come.
Not so much a quote but i was damn funny
Homers Daycare Episode.
Flanders: "Homer can you watch the kids tonight, we're going to a christian rock concert."
Then it shows the tickets and they say "Chris Rock"
then when flanders gets back he says: "I've never heard a preacher use the 'n' word so many times in my life"
Homers Daycare Episode.
Flanders: "Homer can you watch the kids tonight, we're going to a christian rock concert."
Then it shows the tickets and they say "Chris Rock"
then when flanders gets back he says: "I've never heard a preacher use the 'n' word so many times in my life"
As was stated before it is impossible to pick a favorite, but here is what comes to mind right now,
"Well, he (the judge) has kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace accidentally with repeatedly, and replace dog with son." --Lionel Hutz (oh how I miss Phil Hartman )
"Mmmm, free goo." --Homer
"Well, he (the judge) has kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace accidentally with repeatedly, and replace dog with son." --Lionel Hutz (oh how I miss Phil Hartman
)"Mmmm, free goo." --Homer
JesusChristPose
Logic Dictates
DrX
Get off my lawn
Lisa explains the origins of Halloween, an Homer says "God bless those Pagans."
When Homer, Burns and Smithers go to Cuba, Burns says "So they say Bautista is gone."
Homer replies "I had no idea."
When Homer, Burns and Smithers go to Cuba, Burns says "So they say Bautista is gone."
Homer replies "I had no idea."
RETIREDTrapped
New Metal Member
- Sep 12, 2001
- 8,312
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...And for once dad's butt actually STOPPED the flow of toxic gas!
(Bart)
From the episode where homer gets excessively fat, and gets stuck in the toxic-gas tank, saving the world.
(Bart)
From the episode where homer gets excessively fat, and gets stuck in the toxic-gas tank, saving the world.
Flanders: looks like we're having imagination Christmas this year
Rod & Tod: yay, i got a pogo stick, i got a hula hoop
(only works if you've seen it, its the Leper one, like the leper affinity, only with Homer and Bart)
Rod & Tod: yay, i got a pogo stick, i got a hula hoop
(only works if you've seen it, its the Leper one, like the leper affinity, only with Homer and Bart)
Opth_001
Space the final frontier
Homer: he he he why do peple away wait till the last minute to do there taxes why I payed my a year ago
Lisa: uhh dad that was last years taxes you have to pay this years
Homer: d'oh well we have to do them quick how many kids do we have no time to count I'll just put 12. . .
Aliens replayes Clinton and bush
Alien 1: arrr you discoved us
Alien 2: yeah well you only have 2 parties so you have to pick one of us as your leader
Al Gore: (lost in the crowd) What about me?!
Lisa: uhh dad that was last years taxes you have to pay this years
Homer: d'oh well we have to do them quick how many kids do we have no time to count I'll just put 12. . .
Aliens replayes Clinton and bush
Alien 1: arrr you discoved us
Alien 2: yeah well you only have 2 parties so you have to pick one of us as your leader
Al Gore: (lost in the crowd) What about me?!
Obyeybyeogone
New Metal Member
No offense Opth, but you butchered that BAD. Let me correct you, I have wasted a considerable amount of time watching TV.
Alien: "It's a two party system, you'll have to vote for one of us!"
Man in crowd: "Well, I will vote for a third-party candidate!"
Alien: "Go ahead, THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!"
(Ross Perot takes off his campaigning tophat, punches a hole in the top, and makes a disgruntled grunt.)
And yes, I have probably seen every episode five times
Alien: "It's a two party system, you'll have to vote for one of us!"
Man in crowd: "Well, I will vote for a third-party candidate!"
Alien: "Go ahead, THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!"
(Ross Perot takes off his campaigning tophat, punches a hole in the top, and makes a disgruntled grunt.)
And yes, I have probably seen every episode five times
Lina
kickass elizabethan style
that's definitely a favorite episode of mine. I thought the halloween one that was on tonight was pretty good -- that little ornery irish leprechaun!Originally posted by Oyo
Alien: "It's a two party system, you'll have to vote for one of us!"
Man in crowd: "Well, I will vote for a third-party candidate!"
Alien: "Go ahead, THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!"
(Ross Perot takes off his campaigning tophat, punches a hole in the top, and makes a disgruntled grunt.)
And yes, I have probably seen every episode five times
and "hmmm...unexplained bacon..." and from the past, "um...jeremy's iron?"
Obyeybyeogone
New Metal Member
Yes, tonight's was great! That leprechaun was soo damn hilarious. I liked when Homer brought him to the Gypsy's in a little dog cage, then he openeed it as if it would bolt out and maul her. Then it was sleeping like a little puppy, and he pokes it and says "Wake up you little drunk!" Then it wakes up and attacks... then they get married and it has a classic pointless, stupid, simpsons ending
Sullen Jester
Corporate Executive
Marge: Look Homer, you've gotten too excited. Straight home with a few beers then bed.
Homer: Woohoo! Beer, beer, beer! Bed, bed, bed!
I still prefer some Futurama quotes:
"...And we will always be brought back to the classic battle between good and neutral.."
Homer: Woohoo! Beer, beer, beer! Bed, bed, bed!
I still prefer some Futurama quotes:
"...And we will always be brought back to the classic battle between good and neutral.."
Heliologue
neologist
"note to self: stop...doing...anything."
or my personal favorite: "awww, trying is the first step towards failure."
or my personal favorite: "awww, trying is the first step towards failure."
Ralph Wiggum: "Teacher, I bent my wookie"
I, too, love the two-party system episode referred to above. After that when Homer's complains to Marge stating he voted for the other alien. And the Jerry Springer part is hilarious.
I, too, love the two-party system episode referred to above. After that when Homer's complains to Marge stating he voted for the other alien. And the Jerry Springer part is hilarious.
