The Official "Classic Simpsons Quotes" thread

[Spruce Goose]

You guys have inspired me to create an entire thread to the genius that is "THE SIMPSONS". Come on, lay some classic quotes on me!!

Comic Book Guy: "So, what do you think about 40 year old vigins that live with their parents?"

Girl: "Comb that candy out of your beard and you're on"

Comic Book Guy: "Don't try to change me baby!"

 

[Spruce Goose]

Homer: "And then I pushed Mr Burns out of the window"

Lisa: "Did he die?"

Homer: "What am I, a Doctor?"

 

[Spruce Goose]

Homer: "Max Power doesnt snuggle...you strap yourself in and feel the G's"

 

[Spruce Goose]

Professor Frink: "well, you take an ordinary square"

Chief Wiggum: "Whoa whoa, slow down Egghead"



Homer: "I know you can read my thoughts boy..... meow meow meow meow meow meow"

 

[Spruce Goose]

When the weight of the world has got you down and you wanna end your own life. Bills to pay, a dead end job, and problems with the wife. Dont throw in the towel cause there's a place right down the block.... where you can drink your misery away...

Everybody -

 

[Aces_High]

Homer: Hello Dean, you are a stupid head

Dean: Homer is that you ?

Homer: . . . AAAAHHHRGGH *drops phone and runs away*

 

[spawn]

Oh my god, this thread is so good, im going to spend a lot of time here I can already see that

Homer does a rap.....
"Im Mr. Plow, thats my name, im the plowenest guy in the USA, ive got a big truck and I plow a lot of things, so suck your cow if you have one"

Groundskeeper Willy to his tractor
"Ach, were it not a violation of gods law, id marry ye!"

"You can expect to go through 5 stages, first is bargaining"
"Doc, you gotta get me outta this, ill make it worth your while"
Then anger"
"Why you son of a! Dammit, ARGH!"
"Then denial"
"No way man, cos im not dying"
"Then Fear"
"Whats after fear? Whats after fear??????"
"Then finally acceptance"
"Well we all gotta go some time"
"Mr Simpson, your progress astounds me".



Sprucey: At FLAAAAAAAMING moes drink your troubles away! Love of life, is just a flaming moe away

I shall reiterate, I LOVE this thread

 

[Spruce Goose]

Close Spawny:

At Flaaaaaming Moes (lets all go to flaming moes)

Where liquer in a mug. can warm you like a hug and happines, is just a flaming Moes away!!




Homer: "Do not touch Willy... Good advice!"

McBain: "My eyes, the goggles do nuthing!"

"Now remember......... you are Mr Thompson..... Hello Mr Thompson"

Homer stares silent.

"Ahh...... now when I stamp down on your foot and say "Hello Mr Thompson", you smile and nod....... Hello Mr Thompson!!"

Homer: "I think he's talking to you!"

 

[Wrathchild]

"Hey McBain, your last movie sucked!"
"I know, there were script problems from day one... Hold me, my mighty heart is breaking ."

"What was I laughing at now? Oh yes, that crippled Irishman."

"That's right, Simpson. I'm riding the school bus this morning. Mother confiscated my car keys because she caught me talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it."

"I'm afraid it's company policy to give you the plague."
"That's the plaque, sir."

"I'd just like to say this gig SUCKS!"
"Hey up yours, Springfield. 1-2-3-4..."
"Have the Rolling Stones killed."

"When yer aloon an life is gettin' ye lonely, ye can always goo... OCH, DOONTOON!"
"Next!"

That's enough for now, but I'll be back .

W

 

[Spruce Goose]

HAHAHAHAHA

"When yer aloon an life is gettin' ye lonely, ye can always goo... OCH, DOONTOON!"
"Next!"

Ahh Willy.... that is classic!!

 

[spawn]

I cant stop laughing when I read this! Especially the goggles bit I knew I screwed up that flaming moes one.....dammit! Thats twice!

The following are from Spinal Tap.

"We are very big in hungaria, and the other garia....."
"Bulgaria?"
"Yes thats it"

"This is a rock concert, not the bleedin splish splash show"
"People think theres only 5 memebers of spinal tap. But they are WRONG...................................HELLO? Thats the cue for you to turn on the houselights so we can tell the crowd they are the 6th member of the freakin group, we are trying to put some pleasure into their grey little lives"

"Goodnight springton, there will be no encore"

 

[Spruce Goose]

hehe, good one about Spinal Tap!

Homer: "No Beer and No Food make Homer something something"

Marge: "Go Crazy?"

Homer: "Don't mind if I do..... Arrggh"

 

[Spruce Goose]

When Homer sews the leather patches on a suede jacket:

Marge: "Homer, you are supposed to sew suede patches on a leather jacket, not the other way around..... you've ruined a perfectly good jacket.!!"

Homer: "Correction Marge..... 2 perfectly good jackets!" Holds up a leather jacket up with the elbows cut out of it!!

 

[Spruce Goose]

Willy when he see's an ugly chick:

"Ach.... it's back to the Loch with you Nessie!!"


Lisa: "Dad, how would you like it if someone told you you couldnt watch the moonlanding?"

Flashback to Moonlanding on TV. Homer has walkman playing and singing "Yummy Yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you!"

hahahaha..... I love the flasback things like that where he goes off in his own world, then it cuts back to the present and he is still singing or whatever! hehe.....

 

[Spruce Goose]

Marge: "Homer, do you know why I married you?"

Homer: "cause I knocked you up?"

 

[spawn]

Originally posted by Spruce Goose
Willy when he see's an ugly chick:

"Ach.... it's back to the Loch with you Nessie!!"

"I didnt know whether to come forward, as people seem to think its perverted, BUT EVERY SCOTTISH PERSON DOES IT!"
Ok I probably screwed up that on too, but its funny!

 

[Spruce Goose]

Ned playing Stanley in that A Streetcar named Desire:
"Stella..... cant you hear me yella.... you're putting me through hella.... stella........ STELLA!"

Funny cause he looks so gay

 

[spawn]

Homer looking at Uruguay on the world globe.

"hehe, you are gay"

 

[Wrathchild]

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confident, Stupid!"

"As long as they don't send us to that terrible planet of the apes.
Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You blew it up! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

"I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink."

"If I wanted to see a man eating an orange, I would have taken the orange-eating class!"

"Not many people know that I had the first radio in Springfield. Wasn't much on the air in those days, just Thomas Edison reciting the alphabet over and over again. 'A', he'd say, then 'B'. C would usually follow..."

W

 

[spawn]

"Stupider like a FOX!"

"Hey dont yell at homer, hes just a little slow"
Thinks "something said...not good...dont yell at homer? No thats ok.....Slow...they called you SLOW!"
"HEY!"
Its hours later and everyones gone, then lenny kicks him out