The Official "Classic Simpsons Quotes" thread

[Spruce Goose]

When Burns trys to get Homer to sign the contract for the dental plan:
Homer: "Sorry mr burns, i dont go for those back door shenanigans...sure im flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answers no!"

"dental plan... Lisa needs braces.... Dental Plan..... Lisa Needs braces!"


HAHAHAHA - Eathtepudding eatthepudding eatthepudding eatthepudding! Fuckin classic!

 

[Spruce Goose]

Just by reading these posts, I have realised what a freakin awesome show the Simpsons is... Anyone can watch it, and you are always guaranteed a laugh. Homer is just the best character ever created! How funny is that prick... Imagine if he were a real life guy........ hahaha.
Keep this thread going people, its cool for a laugh!

Imagine if Maiden were on the Simpsons as special guests... That would be pretty funny. I can see how the creators would take the piss out of them though...... Have a cartoon eddy, like they did when Bart went to the Mad Magazine factory and there was that guy who is always on the cover there!

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Mrs Lovejoy: "What we are talking about is S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N"
Krusty: "SEX CAULDREN!!??! I thought they closed that place down!"

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Snake when he sees Homer drive past in his car: *sniff sniff* "Dude! She takes premium, not regular! Duuuude!! Premiiuuum!!! Duuuude!!!"

Snake's son: "Daddy, I'm stealing, I'm stealing"
Snake: "Thats my little dude!"

Snake while loading the Kwik-e-Mart onto a truck: "Alllrriiightt, I'm taking this thing to Mexxiccoo"

 

[Spruce Goose]

SEX CAULDRON =

I love that "we're taking this thing to Mexico" I use that all the time

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Bart: "Thats a hitch-hiker Dad"
Homer: "Ooh! Lets pick him up!"
Marge: "What if he's crazy?"
Homer: "..and what if he's not?? Then we'd look like idiots, would't we"
**They pull in the driveway**
Homer: "no, I think it was a good idea"
**reverses out of driveway**



Gotta love Ralf too..

"My cat's name is mittens"

"Me fail english? Thats umpossible"

"Whats a battle?"

"My cat's breath smells like cat food"

**Ralf running round in circles snorting**
Marge: "Is he alright?"
Chief Wiggum: "Yeah, he's just playing wigglepuppy"



..and another fav...

Bart: "Dad, u shot the zombie Flanders"
Homer: "He was a zombie??"

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Ralf: "Hello Principal Skinner, hello Super Nintendo Chalmurrs"



Homer: "I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-A-T, erm, S-M-A-R-T"

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Bart looking into Millhouse's glasses: "I'm a nerd!"
Millhouse looks into Bart's glasses: **gasp** "SO AM I!"

...while playing the blind date game at the beach
Marge: **chuckles** "you got the dud!"
Homer: "Hahaha! He looks just like you poindexter!!" *point's to Millhouse*

Millhouse: "But my mum thinks I'm cool"



Lionell Hutz: "Mrs Simpson, what did you do after you left the restaurant?"
Marge: We drove around til..3am, looking for another all you could eat seafood restraunt"
Hutz: "And when you couldn't find one??"
Marge: "We went fishing" *sob*
Hutz: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who had had 'all he could eat'?"



Bart: "Grandpa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?"
Grandpa: "I....don't....know..."

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Mr Burns: "To the power plant! We'll take the Spruce Moose"
**Burns holds up model of a Spruce Moose**
Mr Burns: "Hop in"
Smithers: "ahh, but sir..."
**Burns pulls out gun**
Mr Burns: "I said hop in"

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Marge: "I know what all these forks are for...except this one"
Homer: "well Marge I believe you scratch your ass with it"

 

[Spruce Goose]

Homer: "And here's your girraffe little girl"

Ralph: "But I'm a boy!"

Homer: "That's the spirit, never give up hope."

 

[Kem]

When Millhouse enters his name as THRILLHO(use) in Bonestorm

Haha and good ol Marge when they're trying to think of a name for a new Itchy & Scratchy character:
`How about....Ghostmutt?'

Mr Burns when Homer rings up people to do something because Marge has gone out:
`Mmm sounds delish! I'll just toss on a shirt and some jeans...wait a second, who is this?'

Mr Burns: `Back to the plant, Smithers. Here, we can take the Spruce Moose! Hop in!'
Smithers: `But sir, it's only a model'
Mr Burns (pointing gun): `I said hop in.'

Mr Burns again: `You there! Fill up my automobile with some petroleum distillate and revulcanise my tyres...post haste!'

McBain: `The whole moovie is me in front of a brick vall for ninety meenutes. It cost eeeeighty meellion dollars.'

Hehe!

 

[spawn]

Spruce, I agree, the simpsons is the best show EVER.
God this thread cracks me up SO much!

"ooh hope I didnt brain my damage!"

"Hello is Homer there? Homer...sexual"

"Make way for WILLY!" Willy falls on superintendant chalmers
"I SAID make way for willy!"

An alien breaks out of the hanger at the army base......."Oh my god, look out, hes got his probe!"

Homer when he gets abducted by aliens "Well, I suppose you want to probe me, lets get this over with"



How funny is Mcbain? "Ice to see you"
"MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

[Wrathchild]

"Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll. It's Cletus the slack-jawed yokel..."

"I can call my Ma from up here. HEY MA! GIT OFF THE DANG ROOF!"

W

 

[Spruce Goose]

When Mr Burns tells Homer he has won an award:

Homer: "What award did I win?"

Mr Burns: "Uhh...... The... first anual Montgomery Burns.... award for.. outstanding..... achievment.. in the field of ....excellence! "

And then at the award night at the showgirls all sing the song

"Its the first anual Montgomery Burns... award for outstanding achievement ... da da da da ... in the field of.. da da da da EXCELLENCEEEEEEEE"

 

[Smashed]

I always wondered how they got this one past the censors:

Priniciple Skinner to hamster/gerbil - "Quickly-chew through my ball sack!"

 

[spawn]

"Your ass is mine, Thats right, I said ass, I can think things id never say"

 

[phlogiston]

Bart at Kamp Krusty: "That's not Krusty!"
Barney: "I am so Crunchy the Clown"


*Over the noise of the Juice Loosener*
Troy McClure (yelling): "Is it on? I can't hear a thing"
Dr Riviera (yelling): "It's whisper quiet"


"Hey Boss, I though you said he was dead?"
"No, I said he sleeps with the fishes"


Lead Paint - Tasty but deadly.

 

[spawn]

Some choice Dr Nick Riviera quotes

"Hi everybody!"
"Ohh err....blood..."
"The coroner? Im so sick of that guy!"
"Seriously baby, I can prescribe anything I want"
"If anything bad happens, lets not get the law involved, one hand washes the other"

 

[spawn]

Homer in bed thinking to himself:
"Uh oh, gotta pee......think man....think think think think think.....awww I better get up"