Friendship stuff

[jangoux]

So,

Most of my life I´ve been a guy without too many friends. When i was a kid, I always had this huge difficulty to make friends and when I thought I did, I always had big disappointments. Other kids stole things from me, beat me up...so basically i grew up with videogames being my best friends. When i was a teenager, I got into basketball, turned out to be one of the best local players and was still as popular as a rock. As a stutterer,quiet and not outspoken guy , I always had communication issues so not being popular is not a surprise.

Anyway, when I got into music I got way more outspoken, meet a lot of people but still got a hard time making friends. Well, i married my bandmate and best friend, but other than that people always said I am a cool guy but never get close and when I try to get close, it is always like I am being annoying. Well, I am turning 30 in a couple of weeks and I also feel most of my then-friends are kinda annoying. Shit, I pay my bills, have my family and I dont feel like talking guitars and videogames and booze all the time.

So..you guys, after your teen years, do you still have friends to share your stuff with , talk about life and this kind of stuff or after being grown up such stuff becomes the role of a psychologist ? This is not a complain thread but more of a understanding/sharing one. I already accepted since a long time how things are but now and then i think about this.

 

[LiberaScientia]

Can't really comment as I'm still in my teen years but one thing I have noticed about the friends I do have (and I mean actual friends, people that I talk to everyday), is that they're all either people I've met on forums, or musicians themselves. I just don't seem to get on well with non-music people, besides my family. Probably just cause all I ever talk about is music and it's easier to have a conversation when they're not staring at you blankly trying to remember who Meshuggah are

But yeah I'm kind of in the same boat as you, man. Never really had that many proper friends, and I've always been a fairly shy, laid back kind of guy. Not even afraid to admit that I haven't been with a girl since I was 13

 

[Mutant]

Ask yourself a question: do i really need more than few friends ?

A serious and proper friendship requires investing time and money for frequent enough socializing.

I remember reading that rockmen and metalheads have a bit higher than average IQ and are more likely to be outsiders and loners.

I can't imagine myself having real life friends who listen to music i hate and/or who have totally different passions and hobbies... my best friend listens to pop music, but at least we share a love for lifting weights at the gym.

 

[Firaxis]

I have a couple of friends. Not including my house mate I don't really talk to them much or see them all that often but it's always cool when we do meet up for a few beers or something.
I decided most people aren't even worth bothering with, certainly stops you getting let down by dick heads as often .

 

[XxSicRokerxX]

Friends are like stars, you may not always see them, or talk to them, but you always know that they're there.

 

[LeSedna]

I still have my best friends from my teen years. Our group of guys is more or less made of a dozen of people, and inside this group, you can see deeper friendships to tie it up, like those I would consider really close friends would be a few of them. I also kept 3 very very good friends from my "uni" years (I didn't go to Uni but that's the best analogy I can give you). These ones are more people I would meet once or a twice a year with no problem and still feel totally related to each other.

I think it really is all down to having a compatible personnality. Those I usually feel the most connected with are those who are able to calm down chill and talk honestly while still having a crazy side. Here where I am I met a guy who is super chill, really into music and passionate and sharing and it all makes it feel like he's gonna be a good friend in the long term. I know in my case music tastes or lifestyle doesn't matter even though it is a plus. With a few friends we even throw jokes at each other about our different music tastes and it doesn't matter more than that.

I think it's almost impossible to have more than 5 deep-true/you-can-count-on-them - friends though.