Funny incident which happened in the Ladies toilet today

Profanity

The Post Master
Jul 3, 2003
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Manchester, England, UK
The mens toilet was out of order and I was desperate so I went in the ladies. As I walked in all the ladies were screaming and shouting. One said "you're in the wrong toilet" to which I replied "beggers can't be choosers" and another one said "my boyfriend will kick the shit out of you" to which I replied "it will all be gone when i've been to the toilet, so there won't be any to kick out". Then I went in a cubicle and in the next cubicle was a woman making noise as she was passing a motion, her noise resembled that of an orgasm. As I walked out of the toilet I passed a gang of workmen who looked a bit concerned but I jusat passed them.

Discuss.
 
AWESOME!!!

lurch, in one bar we went to in NYC, I went to take a shit and in the middle of the most disgusting dump I've ever had, a girl walked in because the girl's stall was closed or something. There wasn't much of a door for the toilet I was squatting upon, and she got the full brutality of my nasty dump. I laughed my balls off as she ran out saying "OH SORRY!!!" but still hung my head in shame on the way back to our table. :D
 
LOL ... awesome ... i think i remember that.
this is the norm in NYC ... it's all good :kickass:
 
I should've tried to bang that chick "hey baby, you've seen me at my worst, let's see if I can improve your impression upon me." :loco:
 
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One Inch Man said:
AWESOME!!!

lurch, in one bar we went to in NYC, I went to take a shit and in the middle of the most disgusting dump I've ever had, a girl walked in because the girl's stall was closed or something. There wasn't much of a door for the toilet I was squatting upon, and she got the full brutality of my nasty dump. I laughed my balls off as she ran out saying "OH SORRY!!!" but still hung my head in shame on the way back to our table. :D

:lol: :lol: that's one of the funniest toilet stories i've ever heard.
 
One Inch Man said:
I should've tried to bang that chick "hey baby, you've seen me at my worst, let's see if I can improve your impression upon me." :loco:

She'd probably think you'd shit all over her knowing that you're so passionate about moticon passing.
 
haha! I'm not into poop games sexually, but I definitely love to take a nice hearty dump! On average I crap 3 times a day, not really because I have to, more because I just enjoy it.
 
There's an anal stage of development? I always figured it was my devout love of Mexican food.
 
1. Oral Stage (Age 0 - 1.5)

Erogenous Zone in Focus: Mouth

Gratifying Activities: Nursing - eating, as well as mouth movement, including sucking, gumming, biting and swallowing.

Interaction with the Environment: To the infant, the mother's breast not only is the source of food and drink, but also represents her love. Because the child's personality is controlled by the id and therefore demands immediate gratification, responsive nurturing is key. Both insufficient and forceful feeding can result in fixation in this stage.

Symptoms of Oral Fixation:

Smoking
Constant chewing on gum, pens, pencils, etc.
Nail biting
Overeating
Drinking
Sarcasm ("the biting personality") and verbal hostility


2. Anal Stage (Age 1.5 - 3)

Erogenous Zone in Focus: Anus

Gratifying Activities: Bowel movement and the withholding of such movement

Interaction with the Environment: The major event at this stage is toilet training, a process through which children are taught when, where, and how excretion is deemed appropriate by society. Children at this stage start to notice the pleasure and displeasure associated with bowel movements. Through toilet training, they also discover their own ability to control such movements. Along with it comes the realization that this ability gives them power over their parents. That is, by exercising control over the retention and expulsion of feces, a child can choose to either grand or resist parents' wishes.

Anal Fixation

Anal-Expulsive Personality: If the parents are too lenient and fail to instill the society's rules about bowel movement control, the child will derive pleasure and success from the expulsion. Individuals with a fixation on this mode of gratification are excessively sloppy, disorganized, reckless, careless, and defiant.
Anal-Retentive Personality: If a child receives excessive pressure and punishment from parents during toilet training, he will experience anxiety over bowl movements and take pleasure in being able to withhold such functions. Individuals who fail to progress pass this stage are obsessively clean and What do
you think?
orderly, and intolerant of those who aren't. They may also be very careful, stingy, withholding, obstinate, meticulous, conforming and passive-aggressive.
 
Cool, thanks.

Symptoms of Oral Fixation:

Smoking
Overeating
Drinking
Sarcasm ("the biting personality") and verbal hostility

Huh, never thought I was orally fixated, but I definitely apply for these traits.
 
One Inch Man said:
Cool, thanks.

Symptoms of Oral Fixation:

Smoking
Overeating
Drinking
Sarcasm ("the biting personality") and verbal hostility

Huh, never thought I was orally fixated, but I definitely apply for these traits.

no wonder you don't like anal ... you're oral :loco:
 
One Inch Man said:
I should've tried to bang that chick "hey baby, you've seen me at my worst, let's see if I can improve your impression upon me." :loco:

:lol:

Actually, worse is when you've got food poisoning so bad that you're puking and shitting simultaneously. My brother in law had this once, and he was on his hands and knees in the shower. He said it was gross -- as he puked, he could see his crap flowing in the water underneath him.

If a chick can see you do this, and not leave you, you might as well impregnate her there and then.
 
JayKeeley said:
:lol:

Actually, worse is when you've got food poisoning so bad that you're puking and shitting simultaneously. My brother in law had this once, and he was on his hands and knees in the shower. He said it was gross -- as he puked, he could see his crap flowing in the water underneath him.

If a chick can see you do this, and not leave you, you might as well impregnate her there and then.

and again I am fucking eating ... wtf? :erk:
 
I've had that several times, in fact once every 2 years or so I get the two ended fire hose. Fucking SUCKS, it's seriously the worst thing ever. :ill: