Funny, rare and stupid things you have heard in a session

[greyskull]

one of my personal favourites was, well the session from hell.

for starters the band say; well not band one member who was a cock who apparently can be found somewhere on the internet with his cock in a dog.

"we wanna do guitars before drums because our drummer doesnt know the songs...."

Me: ok.......... (rolls eyes)


band " i wanna use your 5150"
ME "ok sure i'll just go and get it"
Band " we dont have to pay for the time it takes to get it from your car and all the other setting up and editing, and tea making do we"
Me : yes, yes you do
Band: But your not recording us?
Me: Get out. now. never come back

 

[Glenn Fricker]

Here was an comment from a very fat guitar player last week....

"I love tits so much I grew my own."

 

[Nitronium Blood]

Here was an comment from a very fat guitar player last week....

"I love tits so much I grew my own."

 

[Ola Englund]

Done mixing a band listening to the songs with all the bandmembers in the studio. There was a solo in the song that was followed up with some sick melodyvocals. Just after the solo where the vocals kick in I go:

Me: "We should use autotune on this part..."

Guitarist: "Yeah, the singer sings out of tune hahaha"

Me: "I meant on the guitarsolo..."

Silence....

The other guys laughed their asses of and I thought the guitarplayer was going to kill me... His eyes was looking at me with pure deathwishes...

 

[xmidihcx]

Hi to everybody,
just want to share some things i've heard in some sessions ¡¡¡

case 1: recording clean guitars
guitar: Fender Squier
amp: Fender rockpro
kind of sound: obviously something like a fender ¡¡¡
so this guy came to me and said: ...."hey i like the way it sounds........but....can you make it sound like a Ernie Ball guitar into a Mesa ????????? :Smug: :Smug: :Smug:

omg dude thats so fucking halarious i think i just sharted!!!!
i am as baffled as i am entertained by that! lol

 

[carl@laruso.com]

my personal favorite was when I'd finished the tracking for a record and said to the band... i'll just play you a mon mix back and tell me if you're happy.... i pressed play and a couple of bars in the gutarist said (and this is the gods honest truth)

GUIT: stop...stop.... sorry i need to get in the mood
ME: whats up you forgot a part or something
GUIT: nah i just need to be in the mood

he then reached into his jaket pocket and took out some shades.... put them on.... and quietly said ...

"now I'm ready"

..... I had to keep straight face cos they had booked in another week later this year!!!!!

AMAZING.

C

 

[carl@laruso.com]

Also under "rare"

I just did a band that brought a midi file all tempo mapped to the session... the drummer said just give me a 2 bar count and i know the song so i'll play to just click - trigger anything you want ...... the guitarist just said i'll leave the guitar tones to you man - I'm no engineer and you know what your doing... same with the bass player, vocals were fine and they said just mix it big and that will do us.....

why aren't all bands like that! lol

 

[--TiMmY--]

I just did a band that brought a midi file all tempo mapped to the session... the drummer said just give me a 2 bar count and i know the song so i'll play to just click - trigger anything you want ...... the guitarist just said i'll leave the guitar tones to you man - I'm no engineer and you know what your doing... same with the bass player, vocals were fine and they said just mix it big and that will do us.....
l

LIAR! I think this was really a dream..

 

[greyskull]

good god
dreamage

 

[Deathbound]

Haha this thread makes me so happy that i've decieded to spend my life playing, recording and producing music. Seems to be a shitload of fun!

As a sidenote though, some people are just so daft it's almost not funny. If i ever get to work at a studio i'll have a big sign on the door that says "minimum IQ of 50 is required to enter!"

 

[--TiMmY--]

They must first play this before they may enter..

 

[ThatGuitarGuy]

I love those things AND Cracker Barrel...I could go for some of their hash browns now...so amazingly bad for you.....droool...I gotta learn how to make it...

 

[unsilpauly]

I love those things AND Cracker Barrel...I could go for some of their hash browns now...so amazingly bad for you.....droool...I gotta learn how to make it...

+1

 

[--TiMmY--]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hash browns...corn muffins .............mmmmmmmmm

 

[ThatGuitarGuy]

well crap, now we have to figure out how to make them or I'm going to get insane! Let's start investigating! I'm gonna see if I can find something on the good ol google!

oh man, I want hash browns so badly right now....

 

[MetalSound]

Hi everybody out there!

I´ve been looking around this forum for months now. It´s so amazingly full of information and funny stuff that today I finally decided to join the family.

Here´s my funny story from a band I had just a short time ago.
After hours of editing crappy drums, triggering and putting the bass drum where it belongs the singer of the band asked me:
"What´s this clicky sound in the song? Is it a metronome?!"

Me:" No, this is the bass drum!"