Funny stage rants...

S

spawn

Member
Apr 14, 2001
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Sebastian Bach onstage after being told by the council they cant play Get The Fuck Out onstage at Wembley: It says here, Skid Row is NOT to play the song Get The Fuck Out or use objectional language onstage... Apparently we arent allowed to say fuck, and you arent allowed to hear it! So to the council id like to say... Fuck you.!
What do you guys want to say to people who tell you what to do?
*Crowd yells fuck you*
What?
*Crowd yells fuck you louder*
What?
*Crowd yells fuck you even louder*
Skid Row starts playing Get The Fuck Out :lol:

Phil Anselmo with Superjoint at Ozzfest:
"What if I told you guys that Dimebag and Vinny are backstage with me tonight and we wanna give you some Pantera?"
Crowd explodes.
"Anyone who just cheered right now is a fag, Pantera is dead, get the fuck over it." :lol:

I read this bit from a Henry Rollins book that has an excerpt posted on a weBsite somewhere, he saw a Ratt show and they say:
RATT frontman: "You guys like that RATT shit!? Y'know...RATT shit is better
than CAT shit. CAT shit STINKS!!"
:lol: Thats ridiculously stupid :lol:
 
Nope, the Skid Row one is on their Roadkill video, the Henry Rollins one was on Blabbermouth a while back I think and the Phil one I saw on another website :)
 
Phil on set list lengths: "We play like right at about an hour or so and fuckin' get the fuck, you know?"

Phil on bored audience members: "If you're standing with your arms folded, you are a homosexual!"

Phil on the war: "This is the United States of America, and we can hate whoever we want! So, let's start busting heads!" "If you don't like war, you're a fag!"
 
Spruce Goose said:
Do you have a link to that wensite? ;)
Click to expand...
Ahh I see, I thought YOU wrote website wrong, and the wink just confused the fuck out of me :)
 
The singer from Killswitch Engage when they supported Anthrax, he was talking to the crowd and he goes " How's your shit?"

Silence decended on the metro.
 
Two people come to mind for me: Paul Stanley & David Lee Roth!

Just a few of my favourite Paul Stanley stage rants:

"Earlier today at our hotel, you guys know what hotel we're stayin' at right? The only hotel that would LET us stay! Well earlier today at our hotel, this girl came up to me in the lobby and she said 'I'm lookin for Gene!' So I pointed her over in his direction and she said 'There's the man with the tongue!' So over to him and she says 'Gene, I want you to meet your child!' So I walk over and I say to her, 'Lady... That is not his child and he has never seen you before in his life!' But just between you and me Detroit, that baby had the longest fucking tongue I've ever seen"! (Detroit '84)

"...so I went to my doctor the other day for my checkup. And I walk into the waiting room and I see a nurse with the biggest tits I've ever seen! And she comes over to me, and leans over, and she says 'Paul, why don't we start this checkup just a little bit EARLY!' So she gets down on her knees, and she unbuttons my pants... *pop, pop, pop* Then she puts her hand down there, pulls it out, and she says 'Paul, what are you doin with a pistol down your pants!' And you know what I said, 'Baby that ain't no pistol down my pants, that's my... (crowd screams LOVE GUN!) That's my LOVE GUN!" (Detroit '84)

"I see that girl there near the front sitting on her boyfriend's shoulders... and her boyfriend is wondering why his shoulders are getting so WET! But I know why!" (Philadelphia '87)

"Ok Philadelphia I'm gonna tell you a story! Now let me warn you, this isn't a clean story. This is a dirty, fucking, story. This story is about... sex! This story happened this afternoon people! We arrived in town, got to our hotel, dropped our stuff off, and I decided I wanna go for a workout! So I went down to the lobby and asked where the nearest gym was, and he told me... so I grab my stuff and went down there, went into the locker room and got changed. And I took off my shirt... *Strip-tease drum beat* and I took off my pants... *Strip-tease drum beat* and right then the door opens and this girl walks in wearing nothing but a towel! And I realised, I had gone into the LADIES' LOCKER ROOM! So I said 'I'm sorry, I'll grab my stuff and leave' and next thing I feel a hand on my shoulder. And she says 'What's hurry? I know a great workout we can do! I want you to lie down on that bench, and I'll sit on top of you, and you can lift me uuuup, and put me down! And lift me uuuup, and put me down! And just when you think it's over, I'll slide on forward and you can have all the turkey you can eat!' (this show is around Thanksgiving lol) So I was getting a bit excited now, and then she dropped her towel to the floor, and got down on her knees... and then when I thought I had it made, she looks up at me and says 'Paul, don't you think this would be more special if we got to know each other first? I mean don't you think it would be just magic if we had dinner & a movie?' And I'm a gentleman so I put my hand on her shoulder and I said 'Baby... what the fuck are you talking about!!!!... Don't wanna wait till you know me better!!!" *Lick It Up kicks in* (Philadelphia '87)

David Lee Roth:

"Hey man, don't squirt water at me, I'm gonna FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND AFTER THE SHOW!" ('83 Festival)

*Skulls Jack Daniels from the bottle* "And just to let you know, the only band who fills their Jack Daniels bottles with iced tea on stage is THE CLAAAASH maaaan!" ('83 Festival)
 
Oh and another one, this was 2 weeks ago at an all-ages show in Macleod, The Deadthings & The Shine were playing...

Most of the crowd was about 15-17, and The Shine singer, Big Daddy Julian James, before one of the songs goes:

"This one's for all the honies in the crowd tonight! Sorry girls, I'd love to, but I don't wanna go to jail... 4 minutes of pleasure ain't worth 20 years behind bars! This one is for you though ladies, it's called To Be A Bone In Your Body!"

:lol: The Shine were unreal, he was great haha.

JulianJames.jpg

The Shine singer Julian James.
 
Oh another one lol...

Earlier this year, Grand Prix night, In Halen supported Kisstroyer. And In Halen's singer Paulie Lee Roth who was trashed because he drank 2/3 of a bottle of Jack Daniel's during their one hour set, goes:

"Did anyone watch the Grand Prix today?!? I didn't. I was too busy having HOT SEX!" :lol:

And he also told some story about taking some girl home and one by one going through all the things she taking off and putting on the table, her clothes, underwear etc then her wig & false eyelashes, then he goes "So I went over and I FUCKED THE TABLE!"

:lol:
 
Mark said:
Julian James looks like he needs a smack.
Click to expand...
Everyone knows that I'm kinda anti-glam but Julian is not a bad kid and The Shine are actually a pretty decent band for that style of rock. At least they can get their guitars in tune on their demos which is more than the bunch of cocksuckers they were gigging with can claim.
 
The Shine are excellent at what they do and a great fun live band. He's a nice guy too. And in my opinion the band they were gigging with are even better. Don't know how their guitars are out of tune... and I think they are mega-nice guys too.
 
Trixxi Trash said:
And in my opinion the band they were gigging with are even better. Don't know how their guitars are out of tune... and I think they are mega-nice guys too.
Click to expand...
I downloaded some stuff from their webpage a while back and the guitar wasn't in tune.

I only know one guy in that band so I shouldn't tar the rest the rest of them with the same brush. This dude is walking (for now) proof that you can be friendly and personable but NOT a nice guy. Trust me on this one.

Anyway I should stop shooting my mouth of on the internet and go back to biding my time. I'm just a bit grumpy today due to sleep deprevation.
 
KoichCPA said:
The singer from Killswitch Engage when they supported Anthrax, he was talking to the crowd and he goes " How's your shit?"

Silence decended on the metro.
Click to expand...
The Killswitch guitarist was one funny bastard!
 
*Dantes Inferno ends*
"Well, we just went through hell together, felt pretty fucking good, didnt it?" :lol: Thats gold Kem... GOLD!

Or when Jon goes "Are you ready to ride the storm?" and then Stormrider starts :lol:
 
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