How many "OOPS I just cut my own dick off" news stories can you find?

Ahh I see it now. But you had it posted as a url. I'm a lazy fuck.

Nevertheless, that has to be the most shocking castration story yet. That guy has balls! (pun intended)
 
The worst I've heard is the dude that got so drunk he shaved off his twig and berries. Yes, shaved. The whole package. Gone. In the back of a taxi cab. What the hell. How in the hell.

Heard it on the radio some years ago. Ugh.
 
http://www.ntac.org/news/01/04/15pa.html

04/06/01 - Tammy Felbaum claimed her husband, accused of infidelity, castrated himself last month, presenting his testicles to his wife and proclaiming his love for her, a trooper testified at a hearing Thursday.

But a note found by police at the coupleís trailer, allegedly written by James Felbaum and signed by both Felbaums, asserts that Tammy Felbaum removed her husband¼s testicles after he stabbed himself in the groin.

The pain from the castration, along with a high dose of painkillers, suppressed James Felbaum's gag reflex and he choked to death on his vomit, according to testimony at a preliminary hearing before Senior District Justice Frank Wise at the Butler County Government Center.

Tammy Felbaum, 42, of 318 Smith Road was ordered by Wise held for court on charges of homicide, aggravated assault, reckless endangerment and unauthorized practice of medicine.

She remains without bond in the Butler County Prison.

State police charged Tammy Felbaum, a transsexual, on March 13 -- 16 days after her 40-year-old husband was pronounced dead at United Community Hospital in Grove City.
 
“A Malaysian man sliced off his own penis, then fried and ate it after taking hallucinatory pills that caused him to hear voices urging him to mutilate himself, police said today. The 34-year-old man claimed he only realised what he had done when he saw blood oozing from his crotch, said a police spokesman in the town of Sitiawan, 300km north of Kuala Lumpur.” — News.com.au (Australia)
Man cuts and eats own penis!

Agence France-Presse
Zamboanga, Philippines, March 7, 2005
A man ended up in a southern Philippines hospital on Monday after severing and then eating his own penis, hospital officials said.

Ernesto Almonte, 40, was in stable condition at the Zamboanga City Medical Center, emergency room staff said.

They could not confirm a report by local radio station DXRG that the bizarre act was triggered by an erectile dysfunction problem.

Asked about the patient's mental state, one staff member said: "If you cut your sex organ and then eat it, then something is wrong with you."
hahahahahahaha
 
Man Slices Off Penis
1997 Darwin Awards Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
Alan Hall, 48, was found collapsed on the front lawn of his brother's Fairfield home on December 5, 8 hours after his penis had been cut off at the base. Paramedics rushed Hall to North Bay Medical Center, where surgeons were unsuccessful in their attempts to reattach his severed organ.

Hall blamed the maiming on a woman named Brenda, whom he met at a local gas station the previous night. He brought Brenda to his trailer, parked in the driveway of his brother's Fairfield home, and had sex. Around 3AM, the woman mentioned revenge and cut off his penis with a razor-sharp hobby knife, then fled the trailer on foot. Details of the attack were sketchy, and police were unsure why Hall could not defend himself. Fairfield police Lieutenant William Gresham said Hall may have been using drugs.

A heated manhunt for Brenda ensued. She was described as a 42-year-old white female, 5' 7" and 135 pounds, dressed in a white blouse, navy blue jacket and blue slacks, and possibly driving a brown Ford F350 pickup truck.

Meanwhile, after being discharged from the hospital on Monday, Hall drove off in a pickup hitched to his trailer and disappeared. Detectives were eager to interview him again, but were unable to locate him due to his transient lifestyle.

More intriguing details began to emerge.

Hall was arrested during the 1970's for drug possession and drunk driving. In 1982 he was arrested for taking his young daughter out of state. Psychological tests suggested that he suffered permanent mental trauma while serving with the U.S. Navy in Vietnam, causing blackouts and alcoholism. His ex-wife described him as a packrat who enjoyed taking trips in his mobile trailer home.


In 1983 Hall was convicted of voluntary manslaughter of a 23-year-old Suisun City woman found strangled in a car parked at a local Denny's restaurant on 17 February. Hall confessed to the murder, saying that she taunted him about his inability to achieve an erection when he tried to have sex with her. His statement was ruled inadmissible because of improper police interrogation techniques, and prosecutors agreed to let Hall plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. He served half of a six-year prison term.

Police speculated that the woman who cut off his penis may have been carrying out a 14-year-old vendetta for the slaying of her friend. But the truth was even stranger.

When Hall was finally located and interviewed on Thursday, he admitted that he cut off his own penis. A voice stress analyzer indicated that he was telling the truth. "At this point, there is no evidence that a crime occurred," police Lieutenant William Gresham said in a press release. "The case is being reclassified as an injured person report." Hall may face misdemeanor charges for filing a false police report.

Ironically, Alan Hall works as a pipe-fitter, according to court records
lol
 
Drunk man bets to cut off his penis for 2,000 USD and wins the bet
2006/07/28

For the first time in the history of Latvian medicine, doctors sewed back on the reproductive organ of a man, which he had cut off himself.

As reported by television program Panorama on channel LTV, a man cut off his penis in an argument, informs Delfi. Man cuts off his own penis

Doctors in Gailezertz hospital in Riga informed journalists that there had been cases before where a partially amputated penis had had to be restored. However, this was the first time that genitals had been brought to the hospital in a packet. According to the doctors, the incident was due to stupidity on the part of the patient. Whilst drinking alcohol with friends, he had argued with them that for 1000 lat, (about 2000 dollars), he would cut off his own “manhood”. He won the bet.

The 30-year-old man was admitted into hospital on the night of the 17th July. Aivars Tikhonov, a plastic surgeon from the Latvian Centre of Microsurgery and Plastic Surgery, operated on the patient. In the hospital, Delfi was informed that the man had lost a lot of blood. Urologist Robert Dalis was involved in the operation which took three and a half hours.

“Now I judge the patient’s condition to be better,” declared Tikhonov. “However, it will only be possible to evaluate the results of the operation in a few days, when we see whether the organ becomes integrated. We have to bear in mind that in summer, during hot weather, the tissue dies more quickly. The penis was covered in sand or something similar, so despite the use of antibiotics, it is possible for a serious infection to develop. Factors which may affect the recovery process include the patient’s state of health, the quantity of blood lost and smoking- even one cigarette could cause a crucial spasm in the blood vessels.”

Such operations are a rarity across the world. According to Tikhonov, penis amputations occur very rarely, since the penis is usually protected by clothing and the trauma mechanism has to be specific (revolving mechanisms, explosions, animal bites). In these instances, the tissue is much damaged and restoration of the organ is generally impossible.

“Secondly, a mentally ill person may cut off his own penis. Very rarely are penises sewn back onto people who consciously do this, worldwide,” says Tikhonov.

This is exactly what happened to 26-year-old British fan Geoff Hugh, who in February 2005, whilst watching a historic rugby match between the national English and Welsh teams, impulsively promised that if the English were beaten, he would “cut off his balls”.

The stakes were high but he risked almost nothing, since Wales had last beaten England in Cardiff when Hugh was only 14 years old. But this time, the Welsh won with a score of 11:9.

Astounded, Hugh silently left the club and made his way home, where, without further thought, he cut off his scrotum with a penknife. After this, he took his home-amputated organ back to the pub and showed it to his friends. His friends hit on the idea of putting the scrotum in a glass with ice, but there was no point thinking about restoring it to its place. The best that can be hoped for is a prosthetic replacement.
I love free market economy!