Humorous Interlude

Teloch

New Metal Member
Mar 26, 2004
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Satantonio TX
So I'm bumping around on the ol' internet, looking for things to divert my attention while I await the new album and I find myself reading the reviews of the king james version of the bible on amazon.com:

da bible

Some of them are absolutely classic!

My favorites are:

"Trite and full of superstition."

and

"At times I found this piece of fiction entertaining. I cannot possibly explain how stupid religion is."

and

"Starts off with a bang but kinda drags towards the middle. The author needs to do some work on pacing and climactic elements. Could've used a vampire, too."

Have fun!

(You have to dig through a bit of dreck to find the funny ones - apparently some people take this book seriously - go figure)
 
:Smug: Pretty stupid reviews. KJV is a good translation of the Bible, we just don't understand the old english anymore. And to say that "the Bible is used to kill millions" haha, yeah, that's not the Bible's fault, that's humanity's fault. Most of the remarks were evident that the people didn't even read it, to say that the God of the Bible is "cruel" that shows a complete ignorance of the literature. Of course these reviews pretty much sum up our culture today, most Christian's haven't even read the Bible cover to cover, let alone other people. It's pretty evident that some of these people didn't really read it. I just ask you to use your brain and actually find out what the Bible says before you dismiss it.
 
the bible is just old fairy tales passed down from generation to generation and coagulated into its own entity of holiness. I mean come on, really. Why do human beings need everything explained. Human beings couldn't possibly grasp what it means to know or even to see the Universe in its true form. (Beyond the optical illusions of our brain and eyes). We can only stand in unquestioning awe of it and of ourselves. Our questions will never be answered. We have to make up our own definitions of life and what we see not have someone else tell us metaphorically in a BIBLE!!!! There is no true guidance. There is only you.

*steps down from the soapbox and flys out to the black canvas*
 
Yes, I agree, we cannot possibly comprehend the world, and we will never find answers, so we must start making start making our own answers o_O
Do you really think the Bible is "just old fairy tales", have you ever read it? On the contrary, I have read parts of the Humansit Manifesto Two(way cool name), which seems to be the view which you fall under, and it is as self contradicting as your statement.
 
While I disagree that the Bible is "Fairy Tales", i cant help but notice the obviousnous of its fictional nature. The quotes are quite repetetive and irrelevant, and yes most of the comments were most likely created by people who have never even opened a bible.
 
JColtrane said:
Yes, I agree, we cannot possibly comprehend the world, and we will never find answers, so we must start making start making our own answers o_O
Do you really think the Bible is "just old fairy tales", have you ever read it? On the contrary, I have read parts of the Humansit Manifesto Two(way cool name), which seems to be the view which you fall under, and it is as self contradicting as your statement.
Are you trying to say the BIBLE is sacred somehow? I'm just curious as to why you seem to have some sort of loyalty to it.

And yes, Life is nothing but one big contradiction. I'm living to die; I'm dying to live. I'm free but I'm enslaved to my body. The list goes on and on.
 
A paradox is not a contradiction. And yes, I am a Christian and as a Christian I believe that every word of the Bible was inspired by God and is completly true. So yes I do believe it is sacred :Spin: Y'all might think these views are crazy and antiquated, but just read the book of Ecclesiastes, all the philosophy's around today were around then "there is nothing new under the sun"
 
JColtrane said:
A paradox is not a contradiction. And yes, I am a Christian and as a Christian I believe that every word of the Bible was inspired by God and is completly true. So yes I do believe it is sacred :Spin: Y'all might think these views are crazy and antiquated, but just read the book of Ecclesiastes, all the philosophy's around today were around then "there is nothing new under the sun"
That explains it.
 
JColtrane said:
A paradox is not a contradiction. And yes, I am a Christian and as a Christian I believe that every word of the Bible was inspired by God and is completly true. ... but just read the book of Ecclesiastes, all the philosophy's around today were around then "there is nothing new under the sun"

Yep, I agree whole heartedly. I'm Christian too.

People are afraid of what they don't understand. Ignorance is bliss. :loco:
 
Believe what you will guys, but please do show some level of decency and respect towards others, take this elsewhere.
This is an extremely off-topic discussion, surely there are forums more suitable for this discussion than this particular forum.
 
Erik Tiwaz said:
Believe what you will guys, but please do show some level of decency and respect towards others, take this elsewhere.
This is an extremely off-topic discussion, surely there are forums more suitable for this discussion than this particular forum.
God digs "the Genuine Pulse".


Nope...no saving this thread.
 
Erik Tiwaz said:
Believe what you will guys, but please do show some level of decency and respect towards others, take this elsewhere.
This is an extremely off-topic discussion, surely there are forums more suitable for this discussion than this particular forum.
Sorry dude.(twas an off topic topic though. so I just stayed off topic. but anywho, i will try to keep my conversations metal related :p :D )
 
Since I'm responsible for starting this thread, I guess I feel a little responsible for the direction it has taken.

One of the things I like most about Borknagar is the thoughtfulness in the lyrics. I would suggest that Borknagar's lyrics are more pagan in nature, and certainly have nothing to do with satanism. There is a certain spirituality to the lyrical themes of Borknagar's music - many of the songs seem to suggest that there is a cosmic significance to human mentality. There is a suggestion that we as a species are evolving toward a better understanding of our spiritual connection to the universe.

To me, the bible as an archetype represents an archaic way of thinking. The idea that there is a divinely inspired book that contains rules for living your life... it just seems ludicrous to me. This statement should not offend anyone, since I can only make that decision for myself. I'm not saying that people who believe that jesus was the son of god are stupid, I'm simply saying that i don't buy it. I don't think i'm an athiest, in that i strongly believe that there is far more to existence then what is conveyed to us by our senses. I sincerely hope that after my body dies my mentality will be free to explore... What i don't believe is that there is a singular "god" that takes a personal interest in the behavior of humans and passes judgement on their eternal soul.

I am happy to discuss this with people who agree or disagree, and i feel that discussing your beliefs, whatever they may be, is healthy because it may cause you to re-examine concepts from a different perspective.

My original post may have sounded disrespectful toward christianity, but really, i was just amused by the wording of some of the reviews people had written about the bible, and i assumed that there would be other people on this forum who would find them humorous as well.

The notion of our emancipation
Lies far from any genuine liberation
Seeking a detailed explanation
We think therefore we're blessed
 
Why are the Christians here the ones calling people ignorant? What about WWJD? Hey would Jesus like you calling people ignorant? Ignorance is not having any tolerance for anyone else's beliefs. Hey, well, Christians are notorious for that.

Jesus loves me this I know. For the bible tells me so. :hotjump:

Children songs = children beliefs

Keep living your life in fear!!!!!!! Ooooh, the devil might be watching. *Scary*
 
Ooookay dude. No sense in get'n all uptight now. :Spin: You were just completly intolerant of my beliefs. So I guess that ruins you're little tolerance thing. I did say that some of the people were ignorant of the literature that wrote those reviews, was that what you're referring to? I'm not calling them stupid I'm saying that they haven't read the Bible. I'm sorry for continuing this thread, maybe someone should close it or something.
Anywho, let's talk about metal, since this is a metal forum. Has anyone purchased the new Antestor EP with Hellhammer on the drums? It's pretty unbelievable, can't wait for their fullength :headbang:
 
JColtrane said:
Ooookay dude. No sense in get'n all uptight now. :Spin: You were just completly intolerant of my beliefs. So I guess that ruins you're little tolerance thing. I did say that some of the people were ignorant of the literature that wrote those reviews, was that what you're referring to? I'm not calling them stupid I'm saying that they haven't read the Bible. I'm sorry for continuing this thread, maybe someone should close it or something.
Anywho, let's talk about metal, since this is a metal forum. Has anyone purchased the new Antestor EP with Hellhammer on the drums? It's pretty unbelievable, can't wait for their fullength :headbang:
It's not Dude. It's Dude-ess. And, yes, you're right. WE were BOTH vile.
 
Haha, sorry dude-ess. So about that new Antestor EP, has anyone heard it? It's amazing so if you can get your hands on it make sure and do so, and fans of Hellhammer should defiently pick it up.
 
Teloch, I like what you had to say.... ever experience some psychadelics? :cool:

I've sort of caught a spiritual type feel to Borknagar's stuff... more in an archaiec form, as you mentioned. Very interesting to find, especially considering the vast, melodic sound space in the music....

Spirituality is a path and a very subjective one at that. If any of you have had an amazing mushroom trip and tried to explain it to others that haven't tripped before, it is pretty damned near hard to explain the feelings, the depth of the experience....

The Bible was put together over the course of hundreds of years, by different people with different perspectives and purposes... it has been translated and its content has been decided by the people in that power, for their own purposes.... It was the savior of the Roman empire. They put together and manipulated spiritual teachings and texts of old Hebrew laws, and with it they found they could control people with it. Tricking people into doing what you want, it is a lot more advanced than control by physical force.. a lot less work. Keep people ignorant and without question... :ill:

Jesus' message used to contain teachings of reincarnation, believe it or not. The real content in The Bible is in the true spiritual teachings as they originally were.... most of it has been fucked over by ignorant people who didn't understand and took it for something else.

Remember what I was saying earlier, about how hard it is to describe to someone who hasn't had an experience, what that experience is? Spirituality can take you very deep in understanding and experience... most of the stuff in The Bible wasn't meant to have a literal interpretation. Metaphors! :worship:

Religion IS idea control. It is a structured way of thinking that is set up to control masses of people. It answers a question that people don't know the answer to, and it comforts them to hold this illusion.... religion is almost the exact opposite of spirituality.

Spirituality is the path that one takes on their own towards higher consciousness... thinking is requried and challenges are accepted as learning experiences, Life is lived to its fullest and the moment is appreciated... Life becomes a continous expression of who you are. Religion, however, keeps people in the lowest levels of consciousness, it gives them easy answers so they don't have to think... they don't have to do anything as far as their own seeking and their own self betterment...

It is sort of ironic, how religion actually seperates people more and more from God. Jesus' teachings were pretty much similar to Buddhism.. a spiritual pathway that thankfully actually was preserved and still contains its original intent and meaning.... it isn't about the afterlife and it isn't about "getting to Heaven", it is about climbing the ladder of consciousness while we are here. It is about getting in touch with our true nature inside of us that our ego has cut us off from.

There is a divine experience within us every moment.... the fact that we are aware of what is around us is quite the gift. Hehe, sorry for rambling, I couldn't quite say what I wanted to say.... let's just forget about religion and be the Enlightened beings that we truly are. :D

Hehe, Teloch, you might be interested in checking out www.shroomery.org, more specifically, the forums... feel free to PM me if you wish. :headbang:
 
Hehe, I just read this after making that post, in regards to the Tibetan Book Of The Dead:

"'It is a book for the living as well as the dying.' The book's esoteric meaning is often concealed beneath many layers of symbolism. It was not intended for general reading. It was designed to be understood only by one who was to be initiated personally by a guru into the Buddhist mystical doctrines, into the pre-mortem-death-rebirth experience. These doctrines have been kept a closely guarded secret for many centuries, for fear that naive or careless application would do harm. In translating such an esoteric text, therefore, there are two steps: one, the rendering of the original text into English; and two, the practical interpretation of the text for its uses. In publishing this practical interpretation for use in the psychedelic drug session, we are in a sense breaking with the tradition of secrecy and thus contravening the teachings of the lama-gurus. "

If only the Bible was treated with the same care by people that actually truly understood its message at all levels. Damn Romans and their power plays! :D