I started to dye it on occasion (dying black hair black is pretty fucking simple), but it's messy. So I decided to grow old gracefully, buy a long trenchcoat, and walk around the local park with nothing on underneath.
My wife hates the word, even when I use it for humor. We have a black dog and a red dog, and sometimes I call the black dog a "my pals dog", and she always gets pissed at me.