I HATE BANDS WITH EVERY FUCKING CELL OF MY BODY

[Ermz]

I can understand how a lifetime of listening to shitty mp3's through shittier earbuds can result in a listener with zero ability to distinguish audio fidelity but this kind of musical insensibility kind of freaks me out a little bit.

That might account for the actual existence of core genres. When one's sense of musicality & rhythm is so distorted that a festering shitpile of a genre like that manages to surface into the forefront at all.

 

[Skyweaver]

lmfaooooo promise you'll keep this thread alive and show the output ?

It always feels good to read

 

[neverpurify]

maybe you should stop recording bands and record nature instead. I have a desk job that I don't complain this much about. I couldn't imagine doing something that I really love but having so many gripes. I'd give it up in a second if so.

 

[DanLights]

We had a band in to record a while back. Typical deathcore stuff. Utterly useless musicianship, a drummer with a few busted brass plates for cymbals and a china he hit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. No rhythm what-so-fucking-ever.

They came back to book some practice time with us a while later. But not to improve their musicianship, oh no, but to rehearse their STAGE MOVES!

They've done this TWICE! The second time they actually said "Oh we played a gig the other night so we don't really need to practice the songs"!!

For your listening displeasure and general bemusement: http://alturl.com/qsac

I loled. listened to these fangs are fake, sorry if that was you who recorded that song, but the performance isn´t the only thing failing, thing sounds like total shit, everything. Hope it wasn´t you who did that song, or if you did it was years ago or something, and if it was I´m sorry but that´s what I feel.

 

[beyond dead]

slipperman thread is priceless

 

[GarethSE]

this sums up what those savour the kill guys are in it for

as much as i despise my "friend's" (he hates me now, i'm not sure why but hey) jazz fascism, goddamn at least he's got his priorities straight. he's in it for the music, for improving him chops as an instrumentalist and as a writer, and I respect that at the very least.

 

[GarethSE]

those glasses make me feel physically ill too
what the fuck is up with those

 

[PhilR]

I loled. listened to these fangs are fake, sorry if that was you who recorded that song, but the performance isn´t the only thing failing, thing sounds like total shit, everything. Hope it wasn´t you who did that song, or if you did it was years ago or something, and if it was I´m sorry but that´s what I feel.

Wasn't me and no, it was fairly recent. But frankly we see bands like this as necessary evils for keeping the bills paid. They get tracked, mixed, shoved through Elephant and out the door never to be bothered with again in the absolute bare minimum of time. Usually the same day. Frankly some turds simply cannot be polished, waxed, laquered of sprayed with enough gold to make them look any less like a turd.

Lets not confuse this with work that is actually worthwhile though. We tracked one band not so long ago and we''ve taken the better part of 2 months tweaking the mixes & final masters because we genuinely like the band, their music and we hope that they'll do well off the back of it. But then they take their stuff seriously, are generally grownups and won't simply shove them on Myspace before breaking up in less than 6 months time when they find some new genre to wank over.

 

[kladdkaka]

I once recorded a friend's band for free and when the asshole singer shows up 7 hours late and everything is tracked except the vocals he starts to whine about how the song is too slow and refuses to sing unless everything is rerecorded. After an hour of arguing i gathered them in front of the computer screen and deleted everything and them threw them all out of my studio. Very immature but it felt sooo good!

 

[jrt12]

badass man, good for you!

 

[The-Zeronaut]

*UPDATE*

today we edited to death another drum "performance"
recorded more guitars and bass...
the guitarist had to play the bass because he plays like 100 times better than the bassist
he uses pick and its more consistent and "clean".
he recorded 4 songs in about 3 and a half hours

the only thing left is one guitar, a guitar solo and vocals

i have to "thank" this band for taught me two things:
1º last time i do anything for free.
2º next time i record a band im gonna charge more ¬.¬

 

[Erik Monsonis]

And

3º- most metal bass players suck.

I still have a story about this to tell you guys

 

[DanLights]

And

3º- most metal bass players suck.

I still have a story about this to tell you guys

That's true, I see it like most 15 year old kids think they can learn bass in 15 minutes and start a fucking world tour with a band. I've seen bands that have these super tight guitarists and drummers, and the bassist is total shit, just filling space in the stage.

I remember and old joke from the "bassist jokes" from the Iron Maiden website, it went something like this:

The kid went to his first bass lesson. He learned to go "dun dun dun dun", all cool. He went to his second lesson next week, teacher taught him "dun da da dun da dun", then he missed the other week and came back a month later. when the teacher asked him why he hadn't come to class he responds "Oh I've been busy touring!!"


oh and please share your story Erik!

 

[The-Zeronaut]

*UPDATE*

DRUMS , GUITARS AND BASS FINISHED HALLELUJAH!!!!
guess what?...more fixes on the guitars and bass....
2 hours to record the sloopy-4-bars solo

there was a moment were i was gonna tell them that i cannot stand this recording anymore but i
closed my eyes , breathe deeply and deleted from my mind the desire of punching them ¬¬

NOW i have to replace all the drums

i havent been recording and editing this much with any band
and im fucking doing this for free....seriously i will open this thread every time i think , even for half a second , recording somebody else for free.

 

[Seizure.]

And

3º- most metal bass players suck.

I still have a story about this to tell you guys

hahaha see my reaction on page 1 on that one

 

[Erik Monsonis]

hahaha see my reaction on page 1 on that one

Yeah dude, it's the pure truth

Here comes my story:

I started tracking some band the 1st August at the singer's home. She had a beautiful house near Madrid in a beautiful zone with an awesome living room in the first floor where the band practiced in.

The room sound was magnific, and the drums were nice (Gretsch Catalina Maple). Although I don't like that snare, it's the best drumkit I've had the pleasure to play on and record.

We put triggers on everything, and only a few mics. A stereo pair of T Bone SCT800 LDC tube microphones as overheads; a T Bone SCT700 LCD tube mic for the hi-hat; a matched pair of Behringer B2 Pro as room mics about 4 meters away from the kit. Also we put 2 SM57 in the snare (above and below it)

Overheads went into a FMR RNP then into Digi 002 line in.
Triggers went intro a Behringer preamp with adat into the Digi's ADAT
And room mics plus hi hat and snare went to the Focusrite Octopre LE and then to the Digi line in. (all borrowed gear from 2 friends )

The drummer wasn't bad, but had never recorded before, and wasn't following the click really accurately. Also his kick drum beats weren't any tight.

Well, we recorded every song (6 songs in 1 day) and everyting was fixable thru quantizing and minor editing, so fine.

Then we recorded guitars at my home, Peavey Vortex with SD Blackouts into my L6 Toneport UX1, monitored with POD Farm standalone, but baked with 8505 and Ryan's impulse.

Whatever

Then we got to record the bass. :zombie:

When I met the bassist the first thing that came to my mind was he smelled so bad . Well, we went down to my basement-studio and started tuning the bass and shit (this one) and I realised he played bass with the fingers .

When we started setting up a sound, everything sounded muddy on POD Farm, so we turned knobs and more knobs to try to get a clear sound. It was him, his playing was muddy. Then he told me he was a lefty but played standard basses since day one. That explained a lot of things.

We finally started recording something, and the guy just couldn't do any upbeats in the songs, played 8th notes as triplets (he couldn't play 16th notes at 130 bpm...).

I had to manually place each of the notes in the grid just when he recorded, to make sure every spot was filled and sounding good. So fucking much editing...

At some point he told me: "This part I'm gonna play some notes and you're going to build everything up from editing, cuz I don't know this part and it has some upbeats I don't want to deal with right now." I was STUNNED

Then the band (that hate him) told me he was saying that he played awesome on the recording and that I edited almost everything to be perfect on the mix, "just like every producer does with every bassist around"

God, since that day I think that guy is just retarded, dumber than cotton (thanks mixerman ), and deaf. There's no other possible logical explanation.

Anyways, it ended sounding right on the mix.

</rant>

 

[deanbailey]

Laughter cannot express the humorous posts "The-Zeronaut" is making!!

Only because I've been through the exact situation several times

The worst is when I was mixing a band I didn't record, which was a big mistake because the tracks were the worst I've ever seen...ever. Things were recorded at different times (weeks to months apart) and mics were moved so levels are all over the place, and they insist on being there while I fix everything...and they're over my shoulders staring at the screen:
"turn the vocals up I can't hear it" then the guitarist says "no but now I can't hear guitars! Every note must be heard" then the guitarist leaves for a few minutes. Then I need to turn the bass up because it's almost inaudible...then the bassist says "isn't the bass too loud now?" Then I play him his favorite album on the same system and he's like "oh ok, yeah that sounded fine I just wanted to make sure". Then "wait that line is too soft now", "and that line", "and that line", "and that line", "and that line"..."wait go back, I think the first was fine but the rest can go up".

Then the guitarist comes back and listens "Now I can't hear the guitars"

there was a moment were i was gonna tell them that i cannot stand this recording anymore but i
closed my eyes , breathe deeply and deleted from my mind the desire of punching them ¬¬

+1
Happens every time man!

Every band that has listened to what I said from beginning to end, has left happy and with no compromises made or uncertainty to the final mix.

 

[The-Zeronaut]

now i see everything crystal clear...
from now on i will be the fucking hitler when im recording someone
everything will be recorded just as i say.
if they dont like it , fuck them.

 

[Seizure.]

Hahhaha Dandelium.... thats why i told this guy to lay his bass down right i away, i'm not so nice and i hate editting

 

[cobhc]

Yeah, tell 'em to get their shit together or GTFO.

now i see everything crystal clear...
from now on i will be the fucking hitler when im recording someone
everything will be recorded just as i say.
if they dont like it , fuck them.

I said that on page 1