Let's make a story.

[Shpongled]

I think we've done this before a looooong time ago. I will start. You continue it. 3 sentence max.

Long, long ago in a land far away lived a humble peasant with nothing more on his mind than food and tittays. He noticed throughout the course of his days that rarely do both of those things come into his life at the same time. He's always been forced to choose.... food or tittays... and it's starting to take it's toll on his mental stability.

 

[Will Bozarth]

In his search for this stability, he stumbled across a gnome, sans pants. He grabbed the gnome by his enormous cock and swung him around like a lasso. "FOOD OR TITTAYS?!?!?!" exclaimed the peasant.

 

[Sentient 6]

the evil gnome then spread a flurry of food and tittays
http://cooktobang.com/recipes/sweet-temptations/kiss-my-peanut-butter-titties/

over the land that suffocated Will and he choked on cookie vomit , dying a lonely and bitter man, until....

 

[Dead Winter]

the gnome's nemesis Mr. Happy Pants came along to resurrect him by heimliching Will, causing him to vomit up the cookie vomit. Will still needed sustenance, so the gnome quickly ate Will's vomit, then regurgitating it out again, then eating again the same vomit he regurgitated that was vomited by Will in order to get the intestinal acids mixed together, then regurgitating again the twice-vomited vomit into Will's mouth. Will then awoke with a somewhat stale taste in his mouth...

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

he saw two asian woman prancing merrily down the path. they waved over to him. he then noticed that one of them was holding a cup...

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

he became aroused

 

[Sentient 6]

then arousal turned to passion when the feces began to overflow from the cup and he began to masturbate until his seed mingled with the fragrant fecal matter, in the throes of his self induced orgasm he cried "in the name of Onan you shall be called "shit baby"

 

[Will Bozarth]

"MY SEMEN! MY SEMEN! YOU ARE FOREVER A PART OF THE EARTH! I SHALL PLANT YOU AND YOU SHALL GROW INTO A GIGANTIC TREE OF HOPE, LOVE, AND NOSTRIL HAIR!"

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

then he saw three gnarled hags robed in black coming down the path. the hags decapitated the asian women and reached their clawed talons towards shit baby. will grabbed shit baby and ran. (but first, he freed his slaves all over their faces)

 

[Dead Winter]

Only when he grabbed shit baby, shit baby oozed between his fingers. Picking the corn out of the remains of shit baby, he popped one in his mouth for a quick snack. He then fell to his knees, fists shaking at the sky screaming, "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME AND MY SHIT BABYYYYYYY?!?!?!?"

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

then he vomited into the mouths of the decapitated heads of one of the asian women. she came back to life and her eyes widened in terror. "I have something horrible to tell you from beyond the grave!" she wailed.

 

[Sentient 6]

And many years passed, the local villagers nurtured the tree that provided them fruit, a truly unusual fruit that when eaten would induce a feeling of euphoria, the nectar soon began to be coveted by the the villagers and the few that knew it's true purpose forged a brotherhood that would protect them from the imminent downfall of humanity

 

[Sentient 6]

Their plan was to protect the kingdom of New Laurania....

 

[Dead Winter]

That fruit...was called genital herpes. Every day children would come and pick the herpes off the tree. They would then come home to dinner and hide them in their pants, which caused a somewhat itchy rash that could form lesions that had to be burned off with dry ice if left on too long. If ingested, they would have to find others to kiss and share the sores developing at the corner of their mouths...this was no ordinary fruit.

 

[Sentient 6]

And so was born the Herpetic Legion of Lesions... a bitter enemy of New Laurania

 

[Lunar Still]

And lo, from the eighth moon of Sirius came forth a troupe of marauding alien gypsy watchmakers, armed with laser cannons and E-Z Cheeze. They spread much devastation across the land, until finally halted by the Herpetic Legions at a battle much like that of Helm's Deep from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, except it was like ten times more epic than that battle. When the dust cleared, there were colorfully-dressed, herpes-laden extraterrestrial corpses and watch gears lying in a sea of blood and alien guts.

 

[Psychonaut]

The Herpatic Legions, having no reason whatsoever to remain herpefied, then hired the gnomes and languished in the sun whilst tiny, nimble fingers deftly plucked the gruesome bumps from their rotten and tired genitals. Freshly cleaned and powdered, the newly-named Cleancockians lay down their arms and instead brandished their weiners, even again employing the now jobless gnomes to snip holes in their metal and leather armor as it was believed a rushing wall of meat in various stages of arousal would frighten any known enemy into immediate submission. Until they attacked The Order Of Well-Groomed Men With Lips Of Angelina...

 

[EricT]

The Dirty-Boz-Scrotii had launched an assault against The Order Of Well-Groomed Men With Lips Of Angelina earlier in the week. The attack was a sweaty one, leaving The Order severely weakened and quite chapped. When The Cleancockians came over the hill, The Order went instantly into a very chaotic state...

 

[Shpongled]

Very chaotic indeed... The Order was so amazed by the Cleancockians' clean cocks that they were instantly whipped up into gigantic frenzy of tangled legs and discarded pants that much resembled the way sea coral drifts on a reef in the moving water. Instead of the fierce and deadly battle that both parties were expecting, the soldiers found themselves instead lusting for something other than blood. As comprehension finally came over the men, The Cleancockians fearless leader, Eric T Lividicus stepped forward and the eyes of every man far and wide from both sides looked down in astonishment as Lividicus spread his tunic open wide.

 

[Psychonaut]

Length to girth. Girth to length. The crowd struggled to wrap their minds around the site that beheld them. Unfurling like a flag on a still morning, Lividicus' whang was a sight to behold. As the crowd gazed upward, their own pulses seemed to synch with the slow pulse seen in the large vein that wound its way up its length. His personal doctor nodded to himself with pride noting how his cardio regimen had evened the pulse rate.

But no! This cock did not fly bare! A beautiful war harness made form the foreskins of enemies and the tiny scrotums of the stillborn acted as both scaffolding and support. It was tastefully adorned with the plumage of Bearded Tits. "Beards are metal, and I will have no other feather riding alongside my schlong", Lividicus had been heard saying to the small army gnomish pluckers.

Legend has it that he, upon first realizing his cock status, had used real tits to adorn his harness, replacing them only when the fatty bags deflated and began to make him itch. The village women were the butt of many a joke, as it was they who had their mammaries removed to sate Eric's seemingly endless thirst for boobage. Realizing this, he stopped at once and figured some tit was better than no tit at all.

The bleating of a trumpet snapped the crowd out of their hypnosis. Leaping seemingly from nowhere, his hairy assistant, Spong, landed gracefully on the dias, unfurled a large scroll, and began to read the announcement...