Let's make a story.

[Lunar Still]

"Hear Ye," said Spong, "We have come to fulfill an ancient prophecy! All present must come forth to lick upon the mighty tool of Lividicus, and attempt to taste his manful explosion. For only the Chosen can fit the entire mass of his impossible girth into their yawning pie-hole. Any who refuseth the test shall be consigned to a slow and agonizing death...by raep!"

The crowd lined up, and one by one, began sucking.

 

[EricT]

Eric T Lividicus' mighty mammoth-esque phallus stood strong and glistened in the moonlight, glisteningly, as one by one the members of The Order Of Well-Groomed Men With Lips Of Angelina gave this might meat rod all they had. The fifth came along, preparing to give the knob the thrill of a lifetime, but suddenly stopped; a look of anguish taking over his face. "This cock, it's not... CLEAN?!"

 

[El Stormo]

As the Cleancockians and the Order of Well-Groomed Men With Lips of Angelina stood, perplexed, gasping at the uncleanly sight of the manhood of Eric T Lividicus, ironically the leader of the Cleancockians, the Grand Chancelory of Nipples of the Cake of Pan saw their chance and from their flagship, the Fat Kevin, let loose a hail of slapped livers on the unsuspecting Cleancockians and Order of Well-Groomed Men With Lips of Angelina alike!

 

[Lunar Still]

After slaughtering all opposition, including their disgraced former leader Lividicus, the Liverslapper and his men set out to sea upon the Fat Kevin, in search of gold, adventure, and those little spring door stops that make the funny twaaaaaang noise when you flick them. They traveled day and night, faithfully keeping clean cocks in the tradition of their ancestors, taking care to steer clear of dangerous port cities like Innsmouth, Corinth, and Las Vegas. At last, one day, Liverslapper awoke to discover a message in a bottle! He extracted the bottle neck from his nether eye, and was startled by what he read...

 

[Psychonaut]

23 North minus 82
I, Naut, beseech this location to you

Assuming the visions
Are all now complete
And you are now floating
On Fat Kevin’s teats

A ballast now added
The lord of all dongs
The dead muse Lividicus
And his bearded tit thong

Take it to Cuba
‘Tis Colon you seek
The one that is city
Not the one with two cheeks

Here you must camp
For three nights plus one day
Slapping your livers
And yelling, “We’re gay!”

‘Tis then she will waken
The dreaded C. Thrash
To display her menses
And throw meat at your ass

The rest is forgotten
My memory blacked out
Since a large leg of lamb
Hit me right in the snout

Adventure awaits you
Read carefully my plea
Just don’t feed her asparagus
Or you’ll deal with her pee

 

[Liverslapper]

C. Thrash...Fat Kevin.... Liverslapper says to himself softly as he folds the poem neatly into his pocket. With his men at his side, he looks down in deep thought.

"What could this all mean?"

Liverslapper tightens his fists till it hurts now in confusion and frustration.

He then begins to frantically beat off.








But he doesn't know why. Is it the thought of Fat Kevin that is making him do this? The name rings in his ears as if he is whispering it into his ear. Liverslapper can't stop..

"Fat Kevin... Fat Kevin.... Fat Kevin"