Look at this
- Thread starter Mr. Shred-ididle
- Start date
raythetse
Where am I?
- Jun 17, 2005
- 446
- 2
- 18
Mr. Johnson turned 60 a week ago. He has worked hard his whole life and on his 60th birthday he decided to get himself a present.
He took the bus to the local plastic surgery clinic, and set up a face lift and nose job. a few weeks later, he's all healed up, and he pull of the bandages.
The doctor, looking quite pleased with his handy work says, "Johnson, you look a good ten years younger!"
Quite happy to hear it, Mr. Johnson thanks the surgeon and leaves.
He decides to get some groceries on the way home. At the cashout line he asks the cashier, "This may sound odd, but would you tell me how old you think I look?"
The young girl replied "You look like you are 45 years old."
Mr. Johnson smiled and said, "Would you believe I'm actually 60!"
Mr. Johnson leaves the grocery store and decides to grab a burger from McDonald's on the way to the bus stop.
He orders his happy meal and before he leaves the restaurant he askes the manager, "Excuse me, but would you mind telling me how old you think I look?"
The young man thinks about it for a moments and says, "I would put you at 40 years old."
"HA! I'M SIXTY!!!" he shouted aloud. Mr. Johnson was very pleased by this point, and briskly made his way out of the McD's and off towards the bus stop.
Mr. Johnson sat down to wait for the bus. It wouldn't be along for another 15minutes.
A minute later an older woman walks up and sits down beside him.
After a few moments, Johnson looked over at the old woman, who he imagined must be at least 80 years old. He asked her, "excuse me ma'am, but how old do you think I look?"
The old woman looked at him a moment then replied, "I can tell you exactly how old you are if you just let me massage your testicles for five minutes."
Mr. Johnson was innitially quite offended, but he was intrigued that such an old woman would say such a thing and his curiousity quickly took over. He agreed.
The old woman fondled Mr. Johnson's balls for about five minutes, and then took her hand out of his pants and sat there quietly.
Mr. Johnson asked, "Well, how old am I then?"
"You are sixty years old."
"My god that is unbelievable!" he said, "How could you know that!"
"I was standing behind you at the McDonald's"
He took the bus to the local plastic surgery clinic, and set up a face lift and nose job. a few weeks later, he's all healed up, and he pull of the bandages.
The doctor, looking quite pleased with his handy work says, "Johnson, you look a good ten years younger!"
Quite happy to hear it, Mr. Johnson thanks the surgeon and leaves.
He decides to get some groceries on the way home. At the cashout line he asks the cashier, "This may sound odd, but would you tell me how old you think I look?"
The young girl replied "You look like you are 45 years old."
Mr. Johnson smiled and said, "Would you believe I'm actually 60!"
Mr. Johnson leaves the grocery store and decides to grab a burger from McDonald's on the way to the bus stop.
He orders his happy meal and before he leaves the restaurant he askes the manager, "Excuse me, but would you mind telling me how old you think I look?"
The young man thinks about it for a moments and says, "I would put you at 40 years old."
"HA! I'M SIXTY!!!" he shouted aloud. Mr. Johnson was very pleased by this point, and briskly made his way out of the McD's and off towards the bus stop.
Mr. Johnson sat down to wait for the bus. It wouldn't be along for another 15minutes.
A minute later an older woman walks up and sits down beside him.
After a few moments, Johnson looked over at the old woman, who he imagined must be at least 80 years old. He asked her, "excuse me ma'am, but how old do you think I look?"
The old woman looked at him a moment then replied, "I can tell you exactly how old you are if you just let me massage your testicles for five minutes."
Mr. Johnson was innitially quite offended, but he was intrigued that such an old woman would say such a thing and his curiousity quickly took over. He agreed.
The old woman fondled Mr. Johnson's balls for about five minutes, and then took her hand out of his pants and sat there quietly.
Mr. Johnson asked, "Well, how old am I then?"
"You are sixty years old."
"My god that is unbelievable!" he said, "How could you know that!"
"I was standing behind you at the McDonald's"
SilentRealm
Member
thats pretty funny
Yngvai X
Dark Emperor
I see Shreddy on MSN every so often. I remember he was abandoning shred stuff in favor of jazz. Haven't IMed him in a few months tho.
SilentRealm
Member
^ he was doing that years ago, musta stuck with it i spose.. i know his dad is a muso too and they were doing jam sessions etc.. wish he would come back and say hi sometime..
DoomsdayZach
The Professor was right
hahathis lady walks onto a bus holding her baby. as she gets on, the bus driver says to her, "my, that's one UGLY baby you have there!" this leaves the woman absolutely speechless and appalled. she sits down next to a young lady and says to her "my goodness, that bus driver was extremely rude to me! i think i'm going to go say something to him, give him a piece of my mind." the young lady says to her "yeah, you really should go up there. i'll hold on to your monkey."
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