Males and Females

[Episteme]

Okay so I'm in a little bit of a dilemma...

There's this Latvian girl from work who's been hitting on me since forever. So we've started flirting a little bit more as of late but she seems to be rather cautious with starting anything up and has rejected kissing me so far, but it seems that she wants to keep catching up with me for dinner or whatever. I'm getting mixed signals from her and her friend has been telling me that she regrets not kissing me when I dropped her off home. She knows that I'm not after relationship, I have no idea what she is after though.

Then there's this German girl from work that I've never worked with but have seen when I visit the bar couple of weeks ago. We don't work together mainly because of different time schedules and me only working twice a week because of university. She's leaving end of October to go back to Germany. However, she has made the effort to get to know me, get my number and talk to me almost everyday through texting and I even caught up with her on Saturday night when she went clubbing. We made out and kissed alot that night and she seemed ready to take me up to her apartment, but she was actually sharing a room with some other backpacker chick. I know this is just going to be a holiday fling for her and I'm perfectly fine with that.

Now my problem is, I don't really want to tread on the Latvian chick's heart because I don't really know what she wants from me. I'm afraid that I would hurt her, because she is a good friend, if I go after the German girl who is just after a holiday fling. But at the same time I'm abit over trying with Latvian girl because of all the mixed signals I'm getting from her.

That's mah story y'all.

 

[Astrum]

dose both of them with K and tie them up in your closet.

I miss going on first dates. Something about the magical combination of free ice cream and establishing rapport/inside jokes.

i hate that shit. it's obviously a game, a mating ritual. theres only been one female in my life i've ever had a meaningful relationship with, that was just as much mutual caring and friendship as sex. after that, i just do it the way it should be done: first off, are we getting married? no? okay...so when are we gonna fuck?

i'm NOT at a stage in my life where i can care about a girl

 

[Cythraul]

Wait, so you're dating the Latvian chick or what? Why don't you just be straightforward with her? Have you talked with her about this? You should ask her straight up what she's looking for, because there's probably a high likelihood that you'd end up hurting her if you went too far with this German chick. Well, I don't know Latvian chick. Maybe she wouldn't care.

A good rule of thumb if you're involved with more than one person: If you think you would feel guilty about doing something, you probably shouldn't do it. What I'm saying is you shouldn't go too far with German chick until you have some kind of talk with Latvian chick and get clear on what she's looking for with you. That would be the decent thing, imo. And if she says she's looking for a relationship or whatever, you should cut things off with her.

 

[Episteme]

I wouldn't call it dating at all. We go out with friends in a group, say for supper or something. That's it, we're not even touchy. Just alot of flirty verbal passes at each other. And if she wants to see me for dinner or something, she'll always want to bring someone else so never any time alone with her anyway.

 

[Zephyrus]

Based on the context you give I would say you shouldn't have scruples about what you do with German chick vis-a-vis Latvian chick, until Latvian chick either tells you straight up or gives a clear indication of what she wants from you, especially since you say now that a relationship is not your priority these days.

I've been in similar situations, and retrospective guilt regarding how I acted in them has bothered me way more than normal and it's not rational to do so. I try every day to recite this phrase of Machiavelli,

"He who neglects what is done for what ought to be done sooner effects his ruin than his preservation."

 

[arg]

lol, Im thinking no wai

it's easy to wrap a camera in black electrical tape except for the lens and position it in a strategic location obscured by random objects, clothing, etc. be really careful about the angle though; you might end up recording the wall/floor.

Female.

nice

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

 

[Srontgorrth]

I say go with the German chick.

 

[Vacant_Planets]

Wait, so you're dating the Latvian chick or what? Why don't you just be straightforward with her? Have you talked with her about this? You should ask her straight up what she's looking for, because there's probably a high likelihood that you'd end up hurting her if you went too far with this German chick. Well, I don't know Latvian chick. Maybe she wouldn't care.

A good rule of thumb if you're involved with more than one person: If you think you would feel guilty about doing something, you probably shouldn't do it. What I'm saying is you shouldn't go too far with German chick until you have some kind of talk with Latvian chick and get clear on what she's looking for with you. That would be the decent thing, imo. And if she says she's looking for a relationship or whatever, you should cut things off with her.

Yep, if she finds out on her own she'll think you're dishonest.

 

[Einherjar86]

I'd advise against relationships that cross national boundaries in general. That's how wars get fucking started.

 

[damnromulans]

Agree with Cythraul, guilt sucks - and by being upfront with Latvian chick you may solve some of the mystery.

I'd be wary of a chick who is that shy/hesitant though. She might just like flirting and not want any more, especially if she keeps bringing friends when you ask her out.

Also, Germany is rated #1 in the "happy with sex life" surveys. Japan is in last place.

 

[waif]

Makes sense. As far as I can tell from the porn, consensual sex simply does not take place in Japan.
Also, joke about Asian men's penises.

 

[-CC-]

Yeah, I heard the women are getting fed up with the tentacles in Japan. They are starting to demand penis.

 

[Episteme]

Yep, if she finds out on her own she'll think you're dishonest.

Yeah, this is one of my biggest worries in the situation. Rationally she has no right to be upset at me since we're not in a relationship but that doesn't change the fact she would still be. And I know she's the sort that would hold a grudge for a very long time.

Agree with Cythraul, guilt sucks - and by being upfront with Latvian chick you may solve some of the mystery.

I'd be wary of a chick who is that shy/hesitant though. She might just like flirting and not want any more, especially if she keeps bringing friends when you ask her out.

Also, Germany is rated #1 in the "happy with sex life" surveys. Japan is in last place.

I just have to find a time to actually speak to her alone so I can be completely upfront with her. It's fucking annoying to want to speak to her but she's always bringing other people into the equation making it impossible.

The hesitance is kind of worrying and bothers me. I have mutual friends of ours telling me that she doesn't really want a relationship. But if she doesn't, why is she sending me mixed signals? You don't test the quality of someone's personality that extensively if you're just after something casual right?

I'd advise against relationships that cross national boundaries in general. That's how wars get fucking started.

 

[Matt]

So on facebook tonight I apparently ended someone's longass relationship inadvertently by saying that they don't deserve to be treated like shit (said person was complaining of that). huh

 

[damnromulans]

Don't accept any of the blame, you cannot make people's decisions for them.

Episteme, it's totally possible she likes the attention and enjoys flirting and wants nothing more or less. If you distance yourself or show interest in German chick/other chicks she might lay on the flirting harder and heavier, being extra nice because she doesn't want to lose the ego boost, etc. This is a terrible female behavior that often happens without the female in question realizing she's doing it.

It sounds like you should ask her on a DATE and be really explicit that it's a DATE, just the two of you, etc - see how she reacts. If she's interested in something real, she'll say yes. If she makes excuses or acts hesitant...you may have your answer there.

 

[The Butt]

Well, since my last post I've since moved on I guess. I don't know if it's the copious amounts of illicit substances, my anxiety medication, or what but I guess I've just moved on. Right now though it's at that uncomfortable point though where I'm just starting to get back into the swing of looking for women, and I seem to "like" every single fucking one of them. Even that 16-year-old I thought was absolutely adorable, seems like a good choice right now. But, I digress. I need to get off the fucking drugs, it's fucking with my perception big time.

 

[Episteme]

Latvian girl doesn't seem really too fazed about me not wanting to continue anything. The words from a mutual's friend's mouth from her was "I just like playing the game, besides there's always next time when she leaves "

Either way, German girls are full of win. Seeing her again tonight.

 

[Eligos]

Sounds to me like the latvian chick has friend zoned you and just wants company for her meals, nothing more. So if you break her heart she needs to work on being more upfront for the next guy, our you're used to more assertive women and communication issues would be myriad.

In the meantime, german lass sounds like she's dtf.

 

[Vimana]

Why is it such a huge problem if someone hooks up with a girl about a week or two after a relationship ends? People are allowed to float their boats, right?

I also like girls with issues, as long as they're not too big. It's a weird thing for me. Eventually it bites me in the ass, though.