Males and Females

[waif]

One of my friends was in a pretty much identical situation. He was into a girl, she started dating another guy, it kinda devastated him. At the time he was coming out of a pretty awful breakup, but even a year later he still holds a grudge. I told him pretty much the same thing: she maybe could have handled things better, but nothing she did was unreasonable and just because it hurts doesn't make it anyone's fault. Drop her if you need to, but don't hold a grudge.
Easier said than done, of course. Really hard not to hate someone for hurting you.

 

[Vimana]

He sounds like this guy I used to be friends with. This guy would get all mopey, and say "no girl will date me," then when a girl rejected him would say, "she won't date me?! Girls are stupid bitches!"

I tell guys who bitch about the friend zone that the way to escape is to actually assess their compatibility with their interest. Chances are, they didn't think it through as much as she did, and based deep feelings on something superficial. Maybe if they finally do think about it, their naive feelings will go away.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

WAIF's outlook is certainly the most rational in this case. She didn't do anything wrong; she's just not into lying about how she feels. I don't blame her.

 

[King Richard]

Well the whole idea of "having feelings for someone" is pretty misleading, and the prevailing notion that those "feelings" have some kind of magical significance that makes them sacred (i.e. "true love") is silly. People "have feelings for" each other in order to satisfy their emotional and sexual needs -- it's not like there's some lofty ideal behind the whole thing (unless you're an artist, philosopher, weirdo, etc.).

I completely disagree with everything you just said and I would simply challenge you to describe what the feeling of love feels like. If you really think it's merely the satisfaction of emotional and sexual needs you're completely mistaken.

Wow, chinagirl actually showed me up tonight. She messaged me online and we got into our first conversation in like two weeks. She apparently needed some time to think over my initial words with her (again, I asked her out 3 weeks ago). At this point she's been flirting with one of my friends for a while, and i kept asking her tonight about her feelings for him in order to potentially get her to make a decision on whether to date him or not and save me some grief.

She made several compelling assertions, including the following:
1) What happens between her and my friend is their business, not mine
2) She'll take as much time as she needs to make a decision on whether to date him
3) She has a right to flirt how, when and with whom she wishes
4) She thinks she used to share my attitude that couples owed respect to their friends by avoiding public displays of affection, but she now looks back on that attitude as ridiculous and reminiscent of an older, more backwards era of history

So, wow. What do I say to that?

Sorry, i probably left out some background details. She already gave me a no on going out with me, so i'm not pursuing her anymore and she's not leading me on still. It's pretty clear at this point that she's more into this friend of mine than anyone else in our group. I'm more worried about having to watch them flirt together for the next few months or however long it is (ever since i asked her out i've been trying to get her to be more clear about her feelings for others in the group so that we can hang out together without there being all this sexual tension, but obviously she doesn't work that way). I'm pretty sure my friend doesn't want the long drawn-out flirting game, but he's still making up his mind on whether he wants to go through with it.

This is why you don't befriend women, at least the ones you're attracted to. This shit happens every time.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I love bitchy girls with wild looks in their eyes. The kind of girl you'd have anal sex with in a tent.

 

[JontRevolting]

I fucked this real fat chick I got from the pub ages ago in my bedroom back when I lived with my parents.The next morning I realised that I had to get rid of this behemoth without somehow letting my parents see her,who were gardening outside my bedroom window at the time.I explained to her that I wanted to take her down the backyard,give her a hand to somehow boost her over the neighbours fence and she could run through their yard into the next street were a public phone bow would allow her to catch a taxi.She refused and walked out the front door past my parents,my mother then came inside,called me a dirty little cunt and said that she'd now have to change my bedsheets.Not one of my finest moments but I copped it on the chin,does anyone else have any such tales of woe or experience rooting horrors whilst drunk?

 

[Satanstoenail]

I fucked this real fat chick I got from the pub ages ago in my bedroom back when I lived with my parents.The next morning I realised that I had to get rid of this behemoth without somehow letting my parents see her,who were gardening outside my bedroom window at the time.I explained to her that I wanted to take her down the backyard,give her a hand to somehow boost her over the neighbours fence and she could run through their yard into the next street were a public phone bow would allow her to catch a taxi.She refused and walked out the front door past my parents,my mother then came inside,called me a dirty little cunt and said that she'd now have to change my bedsheets.Not one of my finest moments but I copped it on the chin,does anyone else have any such tales of woe or experience rooting horrors whilst drunk?

Fucking LOL

 

[Chanakya]

Especially in a Tasman accent. I lol'd as fucking fuck!!

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I tell guys who bitch about the friend zone that the way to escape is to actually assess their compatibility with their interest. Chances are, they didn't think it through as much as she did, and based deep feelings on something superficial. Maybe if they finally do think about it, their naive feelings will go away.

So is a relationship between super compatible people the only kind that's worth having? From my pov i could benefit from experimentation, but at my age nearly all girls are through with that it seems.

I completely disagree with everything you just said and I would simply challenge you to describe what the feeling of love feels like. If you really think it's merely the satisfaction of emotional and sexual needs you're completely mistaken.

Obviously i don't know what love feels like, but i'm not sure that's the point. What do you think it is that motivates people to be in a committed relationship if it's not emotional or sexual needs? Do you really think there's some kind of altruism involved in such a relationship?

This is why you don't befriend women, at least the ones you're attracted to. This shit happens every time.

Is that really a legit reason to write off such a huge segment of the population from friendship consideration? I mean, i may end up just saying the hell with her ultimately, but i think she's still worth a chance because she's an interesting person who occasionally broadens my perspective.

By your logic anyway, i might as well just confess my feelings right at the start of any friendship with a girl, if the alternative is to not be friends at all.

 

[sevag00]

Especially in a Tasman accent. I lol'd as fucking fuck!!

Do you happen to know the Tasmanian accent?

 

[Master_Yoda77]

I fucked this real fat chick I got from the pub ages ago in my bedroom back when I lived with my parents.The next morning I realised that I had to get rid of this behemoth without somehow letting my parents see her,who were gardening outside my bedroom window at the time.I explained to her that I wanted to take her down the backyard,give her a hand to somehow boost her over the neighbours fence and she could run through their yard into the next street were a public phone bow would allow her to catch a taxi.She refused and walked out the front door past my parents,my mother then came inside,called me a dirty little cunt and said that she'd now have to change my bedsheets.Not one of my finest moments but I copped it on the chin,does anyone else have any such tales of woe or experience rooting horrors whilst drunk?

This is best post in this thread in a long fucking time. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Chanakya]

Do you happen to know the Tasmanian accent?

Cunt.

 

[Dak]

I love how so many words get slurred through/compacted into one another.

 

[unknown]

these guys should be auctioneers

 

[Vimana]

By your logic anyway, i might as well just confess my feelings right at the start of any friendship with a girl, if the alternative is to not be friends at all.

 

[JontRevolting]

This is best post in this thread in a long fucking time. Thank you for sharing.

My pleasure mate,I got a couple more similar stories which i'll post later.I used to go out all the time getting blind and pulling fat chicks,it was always amusing but there's a certain amount of shame that goes along with it.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Please tell. I am anxious to hear.

 

[Onder]

You're a good man Danny.

 

[The Butt]

I may have the opportunity to plow a fat chick myself now. Don't know if I want to take one for the team or not.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

I fucked this real fat chick I got from the pub ages ago in my bedroom back when I lived with my parents.The next morning I realised that I had to get rid of this behemoth without somehow letting my parents see her,who were gardening outside my bedroom window at the time.I explained to her that I wanted to take her down the backyard,give her a hand to somehow boost her over the neighbours fence and she could run through their yard into the next street were a public phone bow would allow her to catch a taxi.She refused and walked out the front door past my parents,my mother then came inside,called me a dirty little cunt and said that she'd now have to change my bedsheets.Not one of my finest moments but I copped it on the chin,does anyone else have any such tales of woe or experience rooting horrors whilst drunk?

Sig-worthy