Males and Females

[zabu of nΩd]

oh, @zeph: it's not my call to push my friend in one direction or the other over her. He's smart enough to see what's going on, he's just not ready to come to any conclusions yet. I can't blame him, because if she really turns out to like him a lot it would be a pretty epic win for him.

 

[damnromulans]

Start telling her about cute girl XYZ even if XYZ is fictional to save face and generate a sense of jealous competition!

 

[Vimana]

At this point, she'd see through the deception.

 

[damnromulans]

She would. But ennhhh

 

[Vimana]

I think it would be better to just show disinterest in her on a romantic level. In my experience, it can really fuck with someone when you express interest in them, get denied, and then pull off acting like nothing happened. It can raise questions like "am I not that valuable that my rejection was taken so lightly?" or "have they found another interest?"

Maybe I've smoked too much, but it's basic, right? If someone rejects someone, it's expected for the one being rejected to feel bad on some level, but when they don't, then it beckons the rejector's curiosity to find the reason for such incongruity.

 

[arg]

her arguments, no matter how valid they may be, portray a self-centered, holier-than-thou, pseudo-intellectual with an inflated sense of how "desirable" she is. girls like that need to be stripped down and shat on, her self-esteem shattered.

 

[Onder]

What's the problem with her again? Didn't she just refuse him? That's pretty normal so I don't see where's all this hate coming from.

 

[Vimana]

aug only respects the women that give him sex, it seems.

 

[Der Morgenstern]

her arguments, no matter how valid they may be, portray a self-centered, holier-than-thou, pseudo-intellectual with an inflated sense of how "desirable" she is. girls like that need to be stripped down and shat on, her self-esteem shattered.

It would be so much simpler if he could just pay her money to make up for his complete and utter lack of ability to attract women.

 

[waif]

Does anyone else not see what chinagirl did wrong? I mean, I fully understand why grant is upset. He has feelings for the girl and she not only doesn't return them but maybe wants to bone his friend. That fucking sucks, but...that's life. That's how it goes. People like people who don't like them back. She doesn't really sound like a bitch at all. She sounds pretty reasonable. So...drop her as a friend if you need to, but don't hold a grudge or anything.
Unless there are extenuating circumstances, in which case as unknown says, the remote CP and anonymous tip thing.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

^ yeah that's about where i am on it

 

[zabu of nΩd]

WAIF: The Virgin Whisperer

 

[waif]

One of my friends was in a pretty much identical situation. He was into a girl, she started dating another guy, it kinda devastated him. At the time he was coming out of a pretty awful breakup, but even a year later he still holds a grudge. I told him pretty much the same thing: she maybe could have handled things better, but nothing she did was unreasonable and just because it hurts doesn't make it anyone's fault. Drop her if you need to, but don't hold a grudge.
Easier said than done, of course. Really hard not to hate someone for hurting you.

 

[Vimana]

He sounds like this guy I used to be friends with. This guy would get all mopey, and say "no girl will date me," then when a girl rejected him would say, "she won't date me?! Girls are stupid bitches!"

I tell guys who bitch about the friend zone that the way to escape is to actually assess their compatibility with their interest. Chances are, they didn't think it through as much as she did, and based deep feelings on something superficial. Maybe if they finally do think about it, their naive feelings will go away.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

WAIF's outlook is certainly the most rational in this case. She didn't do anything wrong; she's just not into lying about how she feels. I don't blame her.

 

[King Richard]

Well the whole idea of "having feelings for someone" is pretty misleading, and the prevailing notion that those "feelings" have some kind of magical significance that makes them sacred (i.e. "true love") is silly. People "have feelings for" each other in order to satisfy their emotional and sexual needs -- it's not like there's some lofty ideal behind the whole thing (unless you're an artist, philosopher, weirdo, etc.).

I completely disagree with everything you just said and I would simply challenge you to describe what the feeling of love feels like. If you really think it's merely the satisfaction of emotional and sexual needs you're completely mistaken.

Wow, chinagirl actually showed me up tonight. She messaged me online and we got into our first conversation in like two weeks. She apparently needed some time to think over my initial words with her (again, I asked her out 3 weeks ago). At this point she's been flirting with one of my friends for a while, and i kept asking her tonight about her feelings for him in order to potentially get her to make a decision on whether to date him or not and save me some grief.

She made several compelling assertions, including the following:
1) What happens between her and my friend is their business, not mine
2) She'll take as much time as she needs to make a decision on whether to date him
3) She has a right to flirt how, when and with whom she wishes
4) She thinks she used to share my attitude that couples owed respect to their friends by avoiding public displays of affection, but she now looks back on that attitude as ridiculous and reminiscent of an older, more backwards era of history

So, wow. What do I say to that?

Sorry, i probably left out some background details. She already gave me a no on going out with me, so i'm not pursuing her anymore and she's not leading me on still. It's pretty clear at this point that she's more into this friend of mine than anyone else in our group. I'm more worried about having to watch them flirt together for the next few months or however long it is (ever since i asked her out i've been trying to get her to be more clear about her feelings for others in the group so that we can hang out together without there being all this sexual tension, but obviously she doesn't work that way). I'm pretty sure my friend doesn't want the long drawn-out flirting game, but he's still making up his mind on whether he wants to go through with it.

This is why you don't befriend women, at least the ones you're attracted to. This shit happens every time.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I love bitchy girls with wild looks in their eyes. The kind of girl you'd have anal sex with in a tent.

 

[JontRevolting]

I fucked this real fat chick I got from the pub ages ago in my bedroom back when I lived with my parents.The next morning I realised that I had to get rid of this behemoth without somehow letting my parents see her,who were gardening outside my bedroom window at the time.I explained to her that I wanted to take her down the backyard,give her a hand to somehow boost her over the neighbours fence and she could run through their yard into the next street were a public phone bow would allow her to catch a taxi.She refused and walked out the front door past my parents,my mother then came inside,called me a dirty little cunt and said that she'd now have to change my bedsheets.Not one of my finest moments but I copped it on the chin,does anyone else have any such tales of woe or experience rooting horrors whilst drunk?

 

[Satanstoenail]

I fucked this real fat chick I got from the pub ages ago in my bedroom back when I lived with my parents.The next morning I realised that I had to get rid of this behemoth without somehow letting my parents see her,who were gardening outside my bedroom window at the time.I explained to her that I wanted to take her down the backyard,give her a hand to somehow boost her over the neighbours fence and she could run through their yard into the next street were a public phone bow would allow her to catch a taxi.She refused and walked out the front door past my parents,my mother then came inside,called me a dirty little cunt and said that she'd now have to change my bedsheets.Not one of my finest moments but I copped it on the chin,does anyone else have any such tales of woe or experience rooting horrors whilst drunk?

Fucking LOL

 

[Chanakya]

Especially in a Tasman accent. I lol'd as fucking fuck!!