Males and Females

[arg]

you just had to bump it into the new page didnt you

 

[Dak]

Bacon, tuna, eggs. Fry the bacon in butter, and when it's almost done, put honey on it. After that, cook some tuna in the same pan until it's brown. After that, cook an egg or two in that pan. The most delicious heart attack.

Only with the bacon.

 

[King Richard]

Doop de doo...found these on the Rogan board.

 

[monoxide_child]

i'm pretty sure this pic was posted in response to my preference for "soft pillow-y women", but godamm, even i'm laughing my ass of over how hilarious this pic is

 

[monoxide_child]

seriously what the fucking hell is wrong with you people??
what the fucking hell do i have to do to actually be taken seriously in this thread??

over the last dozen or so pages i've written tons of posts with pieces of text that nobody is reading cuz everybody is freaking-the-fuck-out over London Andrews apparently being a "lard-ass"
i try to help people with their relationship problems and nobody even reads the helpfull text i post

so then i post a ton of jiggly-butt-pictures of women with itty-bitty-waist-lines and even that's still not good enough for you guys cuz apparently you guys are deeply-in-the-closet gay-guys

i don't know which klingon-female-filled world you guys have been living on, but here on planet earth 99% of human females have butt-cheeks that jiggle-like-jello when they walk

a human female's ass is actually supposed to look like the ass Alexis Texas, you idiots

a female with buns-of-steel is so fucking rare because it's just not fucking natural, most of the women that you guys have been looking at have to do squats/lunges/jogging every single fucking day to get anywhere near having the "tight ass" that you guys like so much, and the one's that don't are having severe hormone-inbalances

female hormones make female asses squishy
why don't you guys seem to understand that

if i wanted to fuck someone with buns of steel i'd go to a gay bathhouse and stick my dick into a male's ass

i actually wasn't talking about the bony-as-hell porn girls that are thin from coke and/or liposucktion, i actually was talking about the pornstars that jiggle (Alexis Texas Brianna Bounce, Virgo Peridot etc etc) looking better than the "real" girls that have 6-pack-abs and buns-of-steel cuz they're excercizing non-stop cuz they're trying so hard to "look good enough to get dick"

"looking good enough to get dick/pussy" should not be the sole reason why you excersize

seriously waiting for direct responses to these^^ 2 posts

Seriously, don't give a guy your number if you have a boyfriend....and she just kinda slips the matter in as some sort of aside, apologizes and asks me to keep her in mind in case she's ever single. Foul play.

i know how you feel bro

once i had a girl at a party give me her cell number just before she left the party to go home, she totally looks like she's single and trying to hook-up with me

so i'm not even thinking she's all that, not really wanting to bone her that bad, but she gave me her number right before stepping out of the party to go home so i go through the whole thing of "waiting an hour and calling her just to make sure she got home okay"

so i'm totally expecting the phone conversation to go in a specific way,

she's gonna tell me she got home okay, tell me how considerate i was for making sure she home okay instead of waiting 3 days to call, and then her sheepishly making some kind of attempt to arrange a date with me

instead of that specific conversation (that i've had a hundred times before) hapening
i call the cell number Jessica has given me and male's voice answers the phone and he identifies himself as "Jessica's boyfriend"

 

[monoxide_child]

talk to her friends, what-ever-the-hell it is that she "hasn't told you yet", just find a way to find out what it is BEFORE she actually tells you

she might have started flirting with someone else on facebook (like an ex maybe)
or maybe she lied to you about when she lost her virginity
maybe she had an abortion the day before she met you

what-ever it is she's hiding from you, find out what it is IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS, otherwise just move on

so what happened to Effigy Forgotten and this girl??

also what's up with the men who hate blondes??

 

[EffigyForgotten]

so what happened to Effigy Forgotten and this girl??

also what's up with the men who hate blondes??

We haven't talked in 3 days.

 

[The Ozzman]

My ex sent me an IM today. Everything about her came rushing back to me and now I want to drink until I forget she exists.

 

[-CC-]

Well you couldn't have picked a better day.

 

[whiskey funeral]

Was it a pretty bad break up, Mike?

 

[The Ozzman]

Well you couldn't have picked a better day.

Thanks for making me chuckle. I needed it.

Was it a pretty bad break up, Mike?

It wasn't bad, per se. It was just that I really fell head over heels for her and it was only my second really serious relationship and she broke it off suddenly and gave me suspicious reasons for breaking it off. This happened in November and I'm only just now really getting over it. I kinda started an argument with her tonight over something really innocuous because part of me wants to throttle her and the other part wants me to get back with her.

It doesn't help that she revealed she's dating someone similar to me and he only lives about two blocks from me.

Relationships and emotions fucking suck.

 

[King Richard]

Cunty people fucking suck.

fyp

 

[The Ozzman]

fyp

I suppose. I asked about it and she obliged so it's mostly my fault for even caring about that shit. I guess this just proves I am definitely not over here completely yet.

 

[crimsonfloyd]

Any idea who this is?

 

[waif]

Relationships and emotions fucking suck.

Drink till you don't remember this comment. Wait. Drink till I don't remember this comment (about 4 beers from now). Then don't get back with her, because she's a faggot and you can do better.

 

[monoxide_child]

We haven't talked in 3 days.

did you find out what the hell her big secret was??

what ever the hell a girl is hiding from the guy she's dating, there's gonna be someone she's told

if you go talk to her friends there's actually a chance of you finding out what the hell her big secret is with out actually talking to her

honestly, if i was in your situation, i wouldn't even try to talk to her untill after i knew what it was she was keeping from me

 

[PhlegethonVeins]

Listen to Monoxide if you want to ensure there is no chance friendship exists between you two after this dealio , and you don't mind disrespecting anothers privacy on a public scale.

 

[SentinelSlain]

Any idea who this is?

Marie Le Fran Collete

She had anal sex with a footballer and starred in a bad music video.

 

[JontRevolting]

I had a girlfriend a few weeks ago but got sick of her and told her fuck off.

 

[Eligos]

Monoxide's advice should be treated like an episode of Jerry Springer.