Males and Females

You could be the British guy and do some act that's somewhere inbetween Harry Potter and Prince William and I could do a standard tough guy / merc / factory worker eastern european impression, with minimal facial expressions, slow, deliberate head shakes, no acknowledgement of sarcasm or irony and say things like "deeze peoples, I would burn a village just to know that one of them might have been in it, there is no worth in deeze peoples, I see many gaynesses in them" I should shave my head and wear camo shorts.
 
But really, last night wasn't beta for me. I didn't get refused, I threw up drunk as fuck. I basically showed her I didn't need her body. It's true that I spent this entire day playing with my joy reactor but I'm staying classy BITCH.
 
You could be the British guy and do some act that's somewhere inbetween Harry Potter and Prince William and I could do a standard tough guy / merc / factory worker eastern european impression, with minimal facial expressions, slow, deliberate head shakes, no acknowledgement of sarcasm or irony and say things like "deeze peoples, I would burn a village just to know that one of them might have been in it, there is no worth in deeze peoples, I see many gaynesses in them" I should shave my head and wear camo shorts.

I would be the slightly retarded asocial Russian.
 
I would just like to say, I haven't actually met any Eastern European people like that, it's just an exaggeration of slight particularities of some of the really working class ones I've met. It's more Poles and Russians than Czechs as well. It was just a joke.
 
Alright let's sum up my last two days of going out with girls. And no, nothing happened. First I went out with that silly chick that claims she needs my company or some dumb shit like that. I was waiting for her on one square in Prague and as I saw her coming to me the first think I noticed was that her ass and thighs are not as slim as I thought they were. Maybe I'd just forgotten. But she has these short legs that are exactly my type really, squeezy squeezy butt stuffed in jeans hmmm. (Oh well I like just about any legs on a girl that's not fat). Went to the pub, had beers then I started to like her as always but she refused to go to my place as always because she's scared I would fuck her. Bitch has respect but doesn't want to fuck. Furthest away from sex possible tbh. I'm not even sad, I just fall in love for 30 minutes and then forget it because I'm used to her being a dumb bitch fucking everyone of my friends and even people I don't know.

So I went out with other chick next day thinking things couldn't really be worse. I was sick of drinking and thought more beer would help so I had like seven, then threw up and then we went to her place with another chick, about to sleep all in one bed. It wasn't even awkward as it was somehow decided beforehand that we wouldn't fuck at all. She had these shorts and during certain moves I could see her being shaved and all, which was like a nail to my coffin indeed. At night I was like bitch I'm cold and she took her duvet and nodded at me to come closer to her. I was like no way bitch, she was fucking hot and I mean temperature hot and ass hot too. So I held her in my arms just like that and....... in the morning I had a coffee and went home.

Now this is a real sad story but don't cry please. I'm just like that. I perfected lady friendship to the point where I spoon with half naked sexy girls like nothing. People like me should be paid with fucking gold. I'm the most valued male companion in the universe of fucks. I entertain chicks with ease and then I provide contact that's not even obscene and low.

And I'm not crying either. :lol:

I AM CRAZY AS THOUSAND FUCKS!

And you give me shit for being friendzoned. You were in a bed with some whores and you didn't fuck them?
 
"Wouldn't fuck" could mean a lot of things. You could have at least fingered one of them and still kept your promise.
 
One gorgeous Czech girl tried to convince me to run away with her instead of paying the bill at the restaurant I took her to. Some of them are wild.
 
So they were classy broads eh?

One is a fat poet. The one I was interested in is a kindergarden teacher and a charles university student. She fucks a lot AFAIK, just not me. She would know how to make me do the move, no shit.

EDIT: Although now that I'm thinking about it, I usually do the move first with her. Never fucked her though. She asked me to impregnate her in few years, or at least sign some paper that I will be the parent of a kid she wants to raise. I mean I'm all for natural impregnation obviously!!!

I refuse to cum in a test tube and give it to her as a gift.
 
Onder, it sounds like you have some self-esteem issues. Unless she's a virgin, plow that shit! Just tap it before you cap it. Don't want you to be a babydaddy.

EDIT: Now that I'm rereading it, I see she mentioned you impregnating her to have your baby. Honestly, that's some fucked up shit. If she won't offer it up to you now she shouldn't be saying shit like that. Run for the hills, dude. Seriously.
 
Onder, it sounds like you have some self-esteem issues. Unless she's a virgin, plow that shit! Just tap it before you cap it. Don't want you to be a babydaddy.

EDIT: Now that I'm rereading it, I see she mentioned you impregnating her to have your baby. Honestly, that's some fucked up shit. If she won't offer it up to you now she shouldn't be saying shit like that. Run for the hills, dude. Seriously.

I'm not here for advice tbh. I don't think I have self-esteem issues. I know that girl better than you seem to think. It's not like I met her for the first time that day.
 
You shoulda let on a little more. I guess I just assumed since I would have reacted differently if it were me. Sorry man.

And sorry that I tend to give advice regardless. I support your decisions whatever you do. Especially since I'm a complete failure with women and have no authority to give advice with anything, except an (almost) bachelors degree in psychology.
 
Okay now I'm gonna post my own issues here...

I was at a party tonight... had some drinks as well as few klonopins... not too crazy, but I FINALLY GOT THE BALLS TO MESSAGE GIRLS ON OKCUPID. Still awaiting a message, but maybe something good will come out of this?? I'm just so desperate to meet new girls in my area now that I've moved back, I really have no other options...

Also gonna checkout meetup, and see who else is interested in going to metal shows in my area. You can't go wrong there.