Males and Females

[crimsonfloyd]

@Kafka: When the sex sucks that's your instincts way of telling you "get the fuck out of this!" It doesn't sound like either of you are benefitting from the relationship so what's the point?

Of course she feels like she needs you since you've been together for a long time and it sounds like she's dealing with some big mental issues and relying on you heavily. But sometimes you can use someone else as a crutch and not deal with your problems.

The best move would be to break up and then not spend time with her for a while, because otherwise you'll probably take her back. But it sounds like it's always the same problems and there's no improvement so I doubt things will turn around.

 

[Mort Divine]

From what I've seen, the end of the 80s was the end of the continuity of white culture in a lot of areas. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say or respond to. It's taken a long time for anglos to get to where they are, in terms of culture. I don't know if a few media moguls and immigration office officials are morally apt to decide it should come to an end.

 

[MasterOLightning]

From what I've seen, the end of the 80s was the end of the continuity of white culture in a lot of areas.

What does this even mean?

 

[SentinelSlain]

I don't think it's that hard to work out. Popular culture, so films like Can't Buy Me Love (1987)had an all white caste without even a token stereotypical ethnic character. The leftovers of segregation in the back of people's minds, widespread disdain towards interracial relationships, white people still dominated the music industry, becoming white was still the main objective for a lot of none white people in places like latin america and so on. Black hip hop culture hadn't quite got hold of the youth like it would in a couple of years.

It's just how it appears to me. People might not like the way I've said it, but I suspect that's more aversion to a different way of describing an already accepted event.

 

[Onder]

I don't think it's that hard to work out. Popular culture, so films like like Can't Buy Me Love (1987)had an all white caste without even a token stereotypical ethnic character..

Haha the movie choice to prove your point is bizarre for some reason.

 

[Mort Divine]

I don't think it's that hard to work out. Popular culture, so films like Can't Buy Me Love (1987)had an all white caste without even a token stereotypical ethnic character. The leftovers of segregation in the back of people's minds, widespread disdain towards interracial relationships, white people still dominated the music industry, becoming white was still the main objective for a lot of none white people in places like latin america and so on. Black hip hop culture hadn't quite got hold of the youth like it would in a couple of years.

It's just how it appears to me. People might not like the way I've said it, but I suspect that's more aversion to a different way of describing an already accepted event.

It changing from that isn't a bad thing

 

[SentinelSlain]

Depends what to.

 

[damnromulans]

KafkaX -

IMO break up and NO CONTACT FOR ANY REASON is really the only way to cut the cord. It won't be easy and you'll probably feel guilty as fuck but NO ONE is benefitting from the relationship at this point. Does she have family? Friends? Surely they can see and know that things haven't been hunky-dory. If it would help you sleep at night you could let them know what's happening.

PP ended an 8 year on-off thing around when I met him - it was horrible at first, she used to call him like 10 times a day, begged him to take her back and that they should just get married, her parents even called him. He stood his ground with no contact, and she's fine now and dating someone else. From what I've been told it sounded really similar to your situation.

People really do bounce back from this stuff. You're a good person with a big heart who has a lot of love - I think you and I both know you deserve to be happy.

 

[monoxide_child]

@Kafka: When the sex sucks that's your instincts way of telling you "get the fuck out of this!" It doesn't sound like either of you are benefitting from the relationship so what's the point?

Of course she feels like she needs you since you've been together for a long time and it sounds like she's dealing with some big mental issues and relying on you heavily. But sometimes you can use someone else as a crutch and not deal with your problems.

The best move would be to break up and then not spend time with her for a while, because otherwise you'll probably take her back. But it sounds like it's always the same problems and there's no improvement so I doubt things will turn around.

Kafka's broken up with her and taken her back several times
so i think now he's already gotten to the point where he's not really gonna be able to leave her for good untill after they're both already dating other people

 

[monoxide_child]

KafkaX -

IMO break up and NO CONTACT FOR ANY REASON is really the only way to cut the cord. It won't be easy and you'll probably feel guilty as fuck but NO ONE is benefitting from the relationship at this point. Does she have family? Friends? Surely they can see and know that things haven't been hunky-dory. If it would help you sleep at night you could let them know what's happening.

PP ended an 8 year on-off thing around when I met him - it was horrible at first, she used to call him like 10 times a day, begged him to take her back and that they should just get married, her parents even called him. He stood his ground with no contact, and she's fine now and dating someone else. From what I've been told it sounded really similar to your situation.

People really do bounce back from this stuff. You're a good person with a big heart who has a lot of love - I think you and I both know you deserve to be happy.

1st
ofcourse Kafka's unhappy (and complaining here about it
but, honestly, i don't think the girl's happy either
he definately needs to start dating someone else
but i think that maybe she needs to be dating someone else as well

2nd
yeah
Kafka needs to tell everyone she's ever met that he's unhappy with her, that she's driving him nuts, and maybe her friends/family could help her with her psych problems that she might be actually hiding from them

 

[Eligos]

Yeah dude, smear campaigns never reflect poorly on the character of the person running them.

If you actually believe the shit you say in GMD Social, it's no wonder you're a homeless juggalover.

 

[monoxide_child]

It changing from that isn't a bad thing

i'm kinda with SS on this

black people are only 12% of the population
why the fuck does there need to be all those all-black-cast movies/TV shows where there's no white people in them??

why do black people need BET or those dozens of natianally distributed magazines where there's no white people in them??

even Mexican-Americans don't actually have any of this and the Hispanic/Latino people in USA are actually double the number of black people here
you don't see any Latino rights groups making white-in-the-source-material characters becoming Latino in the big-budget-hollywood-movies the way that Johnny Storm's about to be a black guy

so
yeah
i'm with SS on this one

 

[monoxide_child]

Yeah dude, smear campaigns never reflect poorly on the character of the person running them.

If you actually believe the shit you say in GMD Social, it's no wonder you're a homeless juggalover.

i'm not talking about a smear campaign

i'm talking about saying something along the lines of "i'm really concerned about you friend/daughter because..."

 

[Eligos]

What you have described is a smear campaign.

Main Entry: smear campaign
Part of Speech: n
Definition: a strategy to discredit a person, esp. a public figure, through disparaging remarks or false accusations

Please, enlighten me. How would Cody benefit from involving the entirety of his social life in an intimate relationship that he shares with a single person? In what way are they responsible for the way these two people treat each other? Do you honestly reject the notion that humans possess the faculty of self-control?

 

[monoxide_child]

i was thinking of somehow or another getting the girl into some kind of therapy

 

[KafkaX]

@Kafka: When the sex sucks that's your instincts way of telling you "get the fuck out of this!" It doesn't sound like either of you are benefitting from the relationship so what's the point?

Of course she feels like she needs you since you've been together for a long time and it sounds like she's dealing with some big mental issues and relying on you heavily. But sometimes you can use someone else as a crutch and not deal with your problems.

The best move would be to break up and then not spend time with her for a while, because otherwise you'll probably take her back. But it sounds like it's always the same problems and there's no improvement so I doubt things will turn around.

Yeah, pretty much. Everyone is already telling me what I knew id hear, and what I already know myself. I guess Im in a bit of denial and needed the reassurance.

KafkaX -

IMO break up and NO CONTACT FOR ANY REASON is really the only way to cut the cord. It won't be easy and you'll probably feel guilty as fuck but NO ONE is benefitting from the relationship at this point. Does she have family? Friends? Surely they can see and know that things haven't been hunky-dory. If it would help you sleep at night you could let them know what's happening.

PP ended an 8 year on-off thing around when I met him - it was horrible at first, she used to call him like 10 times a day, begged him to take her back and that they should just get married, her parents even called him. He stood his ground with no contact, and she's fine now and dating someone else. From what I've been told it sounded really similar to your situation.

People really do bounce back from this stuff. You're a good person with a big heart who has a lot of love - I think you and I both know you deserve to be happy.

No matter how bad things are for us, its still better than her past relationships. According to her, we get a long better than she did with her ex's, and she actually loves me, which she didnt with her ex's.

Right now im taking a step back to get some clarity because it still feels like Im riding the effects of the shitstorm from the past few weeks. Weve been moving her into a new place and its been a fucking stressful disaster to say the least. I dont feel grounded and strong, I feel like a mess and weak and I dont like making decisions like this when I feel this way because when Im in this state I dont act in a way thats conducive to my higher self and the man I want to be.

Part of me wants to hold on until October, because Im sitting a long meditation course and I feel that after that I will be grounded enough to take the action needed, and wont compromise a course that Ive been waiting for and preparing for over 5 years. Id rather gain clarity on the situation and feel grounded to take the action needed, than to mope around about my my breakup and not work properly. Fucking clusterfuck.

I really appreciate everyones support and advice on my bullshit.

 

[monoxide_child]

i was thinking of somehow or another getting the girl into some kind of therapy

seriousy
this girl needs therapy

 

[crimsonfloyd]

Yeah, pretty much. Everyone is already telling me what I knew id hear, and what I already know myself. I guess Im in a bit of denial and needed the reassurance.

If it's any encouragement I was in a somewhat similar situation a year ago where I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years. I realized I was only with her because of habit, comfort and a sense that I was her only true emotional support.

Well a year later I've grown an insane amount and am so, so happy with my decision. Also, from what I can tell my ex has grown a ton as well. That's not to say it's not extremely difficult at first, but that stage passes. After being with someone for so long, it can be a really empowering to have your life be primarily about yourself again. And there's all those things that you care about that you've put to the side to give time to your relationship, fighting, trying to resolve issues etc. Getting all that time back is fucking awesome. From everything your saying it sounds like this is a great time in your life to put the priority back on yourself.

 

[monoxide_child]

and once you finnally break up with her you'll be able to do each of all the activities she wouldn't let you do

 

[Mort Divine]

i'm kinda with SS on this

black people are only 12% of the population
why the fuck does there need to be all those all-black-cast movies/TV shows where there's no white people in them??

why do black people need BET or those dozens of natianally distributed magazines where there's no white people in them??

even Mexican-Americans don't actually have any of this and the Hispanic/Latino people in USA are actually double the number of black people here
you don't see any Latino rights groups making white-in-the-source-material characters becoming Latino in the big-budget-hollywood-movies the way that Johnny Storm's about to be a black guy

so
yeah
i'm with SS on this one

Your unchecked privilege is showing :danceboy:

EDIT: Could you be any more of a neckbeard complaining about the Johnny Storm thing? The Green Lantern was played by a white guy when that specific GL was black in the comics...

Where is your nerd fury about that?