Males and Females

How would you feel if you found out that at the beginning of your relationship, your woman cheated on you by making out with another woman, and just recently told you? Let's say you're like two or three years in and you love her.

Or vice versa for the women here, bf cheated on you with a guy.
 
I'm of the mindset that it's not a lack of loyalty that constitutes cheating, but rather dishonesty and apparent shame. Like, my girlfriend knows that I find other people attractive, and isn't entertaining notions that she's the only person I'll ever have sex with for the rest of my adult life. That whole concept, as far as we've discussed, is predicated on insecurity, and is an old fashioned idea that serves as a birthplace for resentment and misunderstanding.

But the moment one of the partners feels shame and demonstrates dishonesty on their part, they've dug themselves into a deep hole. So we both do everything we can to avoid dishonesty in that realm of behavior.
 
I have cheated, but it was a retaliatory thing as I just found that the bitch had been consistently cheating on me for an extended length of time. I was never discovered and did not feel bad about it. I unfortunately did not dump her right away and continued a miserable relationship filled with shit. I'm the type to trust completely until proven otherwise, and if that trust is broken it will never return. So if it happens in the future it will likely result in the end of the relationship.

However, I do not classify making out with someone as cheating. It's a seedy and dishonest thing to do, but I wouldn't call it full fledged cheating. Especially if alcohol is involved.
 
Eligos said:
I'm of the mindset that it's not a lack of loyalty that constitutes cheating, but rather dishonesty and apparent shame. Like, my girlfriend knows that I find other people attractive, and isn't entertaining notions that she's the only person I'll ever have sex with for the rest of my adult life. That whole concept, as far as we've discussed, is predicated on insecurity, and is an old fashioned idea that serves as a birthplace for resentment and misunderstanding.

But the moment one of the partners feels shame and demonstrates dishonesty on their part, they've dug themselves into a deep hole. So we both do everything we can to avoid dishonesty in that realm of behavior.
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Wow I never thought about it that way. Very wise words :kickass:

Carpe Mortem said:
Gender doesn't make any sort of difference whatsoever?
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What do you mean? Like if I'm dating a girl and she cheats on me with a girl vs. cheating on me with a guy?

Emotionally it would make a difference but rationally it would not, so either way the relationship would probably be over.
 
I would be a little confused if my gf cheated on me with a female but I don't honestly think it would be a relationship breaker, where as with a guy it would be.
 
I always saw girls making out as kinda harmless. Not something normal to just do all the time, but if a dude's gf was drunk making out with another girl, something to laugh rather than feel betrayed about.

And hate to be sexist, but if a dude cheats on his gf with another dude, it's somehow not as harmless. He's clearly gay.
 
It's actually the opposite for me. If my bf cheated on me with a man, I think that would be it for us. If it was another woman, I may give another chance (depending on the circumstance).

Honestly, I would have more tolerance for a one night stand kind of thing than my significant other having/forming a relationship with someone else and cheating multiple times with the same person. Zero tolerance is had for that.
 
Yeah agreed in all of it. It's just not in men's nature to get drunk and make out with eachother unless they're preeeettttttyyy interested in dudes, I know plenty of chicks that have gotten drunk and made out, perfectly straight girls, wouldn't go any further than that.

And one night stand is a dumb mistake, a fuckin affair is a repeated betrayal.
 
Carpe Mortem said:
It's just not in men's nature to get drunk and make out with eachother unless they're preeeettttttyyy interested in dudes, I know plenty of chicks that have gotten drunk and made out, perfectly straight girls, wouldn't go any further than that.
Click to expand...

You lost so much of my respect with this post. Double standards are the heart of every sexist issue.

I'll make out with a good friend if I'm drunk and in a decent mood.
 
Mathiäs;10772506 said:
This is why monogamous relationships suck. Eventually the spark wears off.
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Ouch. What makes you say that?

I tend to think people must have a lot of time and patience to be in polyamorous relationships. Keeping track of multiple interests and needs sounds like a headache.
 
I would care a lot less if my dude made out with a dude. A dude is not really a threat to me, though PP did remark I was "muscular" with "broad shoulders" the other day, and the Internet National Socialists are convinced that Asian females are actually young boys. HMMMM
 
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