Males and Females

[Satanstoenail]

In a general sense I think women do want the same things. It's just that I don't think there's a female equivalent to, let's say, gagging or shooting a load on a pretty face. We're sick fucks really, truly sick.

I've never felt the urge to shoot my load on a girl's face. And I've watched a lot of porn. I think it's important to keep the distinction between dumb porn shit and real life.

 

[ProphetofHatred]

You're a nice person. I'd shoot my load on a girls face just to spite her.

 

[Krow]

I accidentally blasted a gf once. She was laying on her stomach on her bed sucking my dick and I was standing up and getting close and apparently pushed it in a little too far and she gagged on it. Right as she took it out of her mouth I came and it blasted in her eye, nose, and all up her hair. Immediately started laughing and although she had this deer in headlights look at first she eventually laughed too. Good times.

 

[Onder]

Today on my way to the rectal examination I remembered when I was 10 or 11 and bought pearl earrings to my "girlfriend" on Tenerife, where I was on vacation. When I brought them back to Prague and gave them to her she said they were -as ugly as my face-. Today I consider my move too adult for that time.

EDIT: Maybe it was some other Canary island or something, I can't remember. There were banana plantations and some pearl shop where you could find a pearl mussel in an aquarium and they would give you the actual pearl from it.

 

[Funerary_Doom]

Yeah, I've been meaning to go hoggin' with some friends, but I never have any game in person. Like, I walk up them and be like "yo girl, what are you drinking? You like craft beer?" At least with OKC I can message them about something relevant, but I guess that hasn't been working much recently either...

Oh, and I'm fucking shy with the other gender for some reason.

Are you kidding me? You're mad cool. I would say definitely don't go with someone just because they are "unattractive and seemingly easy" legit message women on OKC or talk to them in real life because you find them interesting and have something to them. I actually think you should trust your sense of humor because you seem pretty funny in a non-douche way and chicks dig that.

 

[unknown]

I really need to try my line "Hey, I noticed you eyein' me. I was eyein' you. How would you feel about going back to my place, polishing off a 30 rack of PBR and a Dominos pizza while watching Trailer Park Boys?" If that doesn't get their pussy's wet, then I don't know what will.

man the girl who says Yes to that is a keeper

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

The girl that says yes to that has a dick.

 

[damnromulans]

I would be all over that but not the 30 rack and I'd get sick from the pizza and have to take Pepcid Complete and then TPB would be ruined with my vile pizza farts

 

[Master_Yoda77]

I would be all over that but not the 30 rack and I'd get sick from the pizza and have to take Pepcid Complete and then TPB would be ruined with my vile pizza farts

We can hot box in a haze of our pizza farts and grease-trodden bodies. I think I love you, Laura.

 

[Nephilim96]

We can hot box in a haze of our pizza farts and grease-trodden bodies. I think I love you, Laura.

Who doesn't love Krampus? She seems like one of the coolest people ever.

 

[Onder]

Who doesn't love Krampus? She seems like one of the coolest people ever.

I think I would have this useless friendship with her where I would spent most of the time thinking if I like her or not and nothing would ever happen anyway. Also, she's too social.

 

[KafkaX]

Too social??

No offense Krampus, but she totally hid from us at MDF a few years ago. She was too cool to kick it with us

(Yes, Im still bitter about it)

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

I really need to get laid

 

[Onder]

Too social??

No offense Krampus, but she totally hid from us at MDF a few years ago. She was too cool to kick it with us

(Yes, Im still bitter about it)

It's the game she plays.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Nah, she's the shy type. Ya gotta crack that nut.

 

[Eligos]

The girl that says yes to that has a dick.

It's not quite that simple anymore, bro. I know girls who are bigger sports enthusiasts than most of my male friends, I dated a girl with a comic book collection half the size of Texas, a number of my bros are metrosexual (especially with beards making a comeback) and my girlfriend likes to drink beer, fuck, play video games, and go to ridiculously loud concerts as much as I do.

Maybe it's just the company I keep, but it seems as though the walls are coming down between gender roles these days.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Yeah, you're probably right. Although I bet your girlfriend has a metaphorical dick.

 

[Eligos]

I definitely wear the pants in the relationship, so if she does, it's smaller than my literal dick.

 

[KafkaX]

 

[damnromulans]

wat

I didn't mean to hide! I was there with a bunch of other people! Also to my credit I was happy to hang out but Grant was trying to get laid, Zeph + IL crew at one point left without saying anything, Andy was about to get his ass kicked during Tsjuder for slamming into people who didn't want to be slammed into (including me), and I didn't want to end up wandering around Baltimore alone.

I'll make it up at some point. See you at Burning Man when we're 40.