Males and Females

wat

I didn't mean to hide! I was there with a bunch of other people! Also to my credit I was happy to hang out but Grant was trying to get laid, Zeph + IL crew at one point left without saying anything, Andy was about to get his ass kicked during Tsjuder for slamming into people who didn't want to be slammed into (including me), and I didn't want to end up wandering around Baltimore alone.

I'll make it up at some point. See you at Burning Man when we're 40.
 
Left without saying anything? Bullshit. I believe we said "Hey" and were like "We are going into the venue to catch blank." It's your fault you didn't come!

Also, you should have been more into Tsjunder. You are at a fucking metal show, if you hate getting slammed into, go to the fucking back. Bitch.
 
Messaged some girl on OKC who visited me. She likes metal, and not like Pantera metal. She had fucking Caladan Brood and Faustcoven in her "list" of bands. Who the fuck digs Caladan Brood except those nerdy faggots like me?

Well, we are organizing a meetup as we speak. She's definitely too high on the Jimmy scale, but I good enough for the Schmidty scale (get a beer in me, any girl is a 8/10).

So...woo?
 
Most of the time I can't even come up with anything to say. "Hi" or any variation is too generic, and straight-up jumping into a conversation about one of the interests we both share usually doesn't work.

I'm not super enthusiastic about finding a relationship right now anyway. I'm twenty and going through some transitions. Besides, I don't think I have the time. Most of the communication in most of my relationships happened through the internet or phone, and I'm starting to get really tired of using the internet and my phone to communicate with people. I'd prefer to be communicating with someone I'm dating in person, but again, time.

I'm also pretty picky anyway, and I don't have the patience or level of desperation to ignore things I don't like anymore.
 
If you want to get a girls attention on these things (I use Tinder) compliment her and insult her at the same time; something like - "you kinda look like a prude" or "you're not my type but I find you attractive." Her vanity and ego will go into hyper drive.
 
I know people might disagree, but I gotta get it off my chest.... it's shallow to try at a romantic relationship based on similar taste in music. I'm glad my partner and I have similar tastes, don't get me wrong, and having a date for shows is a REALLY nice bonus, but I wouldn't consider it a huge selling point. Plenty of women/men who like non-mainstream metal suck, it's not any indication whatsoever of a good personality. Although I guess it's a nice start.

A better route is to find someone who's interested in the same kind of lifestyle as you, and chances are, they'll like you enough to be open to your music. Like if your OKC profile is less than a paragraph long, don't go hittin up a chick who's written an entire fucking essay, even if it's about how much she loves metal. You're different people. And if you like gaming with a bag of fritos, don't go hittin up a gym rat.
 
That unintentionally worked for me in the past. Before I dated this one girl for about seven months, I mindlessly blurted out, "you sound less stupid over the phone." She laughed and admitted she was into me shortly after.

I think negging mainly works on women that hate themselves, but still think they're better than others. I find both qualities unattractive in a woman, so if they like negging, there goes my attraction.
 
Carpe Mortem said:
I know people might disagree, but I gotta get it off my chest.... it's shallow to try at a romantic relationship based on similar taste in music. I'm glad my partner and I have similar tastes, don't get me wrong, and having a date for shows is a REALLY nice bonus, but I wouldn't consider it a huge selling point. Plenty of women/men who like non-mainstream metal suck, it's not any indication whatsoever of a good personality. Although I guess it's a nice start.

A better route is to find someone who's interested in the same kind of lifestyle as you, and chances are, they'll like you enough to be open to your music. Like if your OKC profile is less than a paragraph long, don't go hittin up a chick who's written an entire fucking essay, even if it's about how much she loves metal. You're different people. And if you like gaming with a bag of fritos, don't go hittin up a gym rat.
Click to expand...

I would agree that similar taste in music is not a necessary condition for a successful relationship, but it is a HUGE plus if it's there. An ideal romantic partner to me has to also be my best friend (or one of them, at least), and that is greatly facilitated by a common interest in not only attending shows, and discovering and listening to music together, but it also really helps integrate us as a couple into our social group of fellow metal-heads.

The last thing I want is to bring a partner along to gatherings of friends where there is a disconnect in common interests between her and my friends (or vice versa). Sometimes that's unavoidable, such as when my fellow Classics grad student get together, but my truest friends have been my metal bruvs, and LG is one of them.

This is not to say I dislike a partner having divergent interests and friends who aren't really my friends, but everything does need to be in the right proportions.
 
my girlfriend cannot tolerate heavy metal and most "dark" things...it's not that she hates it, but she has a really intense reaction to things and gets anxiety rather easily. We share other musical interests (jazz, classical, etc.). In fact, only one of my best friends is a metalhead. The others are into rock or hip hop or something. As nice as it is to have common interests, I don't seek to surround myself with people who have the exact same interests as I do. I'd rather surround myself whose interests and hobbies lay in other areas so that I may learn something new and have different outlooks. Hell, some of my best friends have completely different political and religious beliefs than I do. I view my friends (and SO) as a complement. When I want to talk about metal, I come here or talk to some of my students who are metalheads. When I want to discuss scholarly things, I talk to my colleagues.
 
Jimmy... Dead. said:
If you want to get a girls attention on these things (I use Tinder) compliment her and insult her at the same time; something like - "you kinda look like a prude" or "you're not my type but I find you attractive." Her vanity and ego will go into hyper drive.
Click to expand...

Or they'll be like "nice neg attempt, dumbass" and ignore you. Negging, game playing, and being overly competitive are all giant turnoffs to me. There are a lot of way to assert masculinity that don't come across as someone who's downloaded a PDF of "The Game" or read something on reddit.com/r/seduction yanno?

As far as common interests go, I think openness to trying something your person is into is the most important factor, along with encouraging your person to do things he or she is interested in for their own sake.
 
Ya know I agree with you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. Dumb, insecure, whatever. We're looking for hoes... Remember some of us are just looking to get in and out
 
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