Males and Females

[The Butt]

Long story short, I'm a free man again. She was being ignorant and called me everything but a human being, so I told her she can start looking for a new place. I pay our rent, and our internet, so I have no qualms about my reaction.

I still live with her, which is going to be ultra-shitty, especially since her and I share a bed and bedroom. But I'm hoping she will eventually either:
–Stop being ignorant, and apologize
–Or move out.

 

[Mort Divine]

something tells me you're not telling the story in a fair manner

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Yeah. I'm with Mort here.

But at the same time, this is probably a good move. From what I can tell, you guys have done nothing but fight in recent memory.

 

[The Butt]

Her and I were getting into arguments over (imo) trivial things.

I ask her politely every now and then to stop doing a specific thing* as yes, I do have OCD and some specific actions bother me immensely (and yes, I do actually attempt to be polite, I'm not stretching the truth here; I believe my exact phrasing this time was "I'm not meaning to be rude, but when I say 'don't', please don't"), and this usually ends up with her going "you fucking bitch all the time, you treat me like shit, you always fucking complain, you're just a fucking dick and I'm done with you".

When I attempted to interject, to try and explain that I was not meaning to be rude, and that all I wanted was for her not to do that one thing, she pretty much shushed me and went on to call me everything but a human being.

This led me to say "if you seriously think I'm the one treating you like shit right now, you are delusional and need help" out of anger, so I stormed off.

This happens often, this is just one of the rare times I stood up for myself. Normally she is great, but every now and then, it's like she has a sanity switch that she simply switches off.

How's that for the full story?

*For example, leaving prints on things, touching my possessions without asking me, bringing drinks into the bedroom, etc. Shit bothers me. I can't control it but it does.

 

[YungVoidWitch]

Hey if you're setting personal boundaries and they arent getting respected, yeah thats a problem. I've got weird issues like I'm constantly bitching to my s/o about not standing directly behind me or touching me while I eat because I'm neurotic as shit, but I get the respect and space that I need when I ask for it so its never a big issue.

 

[The Butt]

I mean, if I could turn it off, hell yeah I would, it is inconvenient as fuck. But I can't, I've told her this a thousand times.

Like does she seriously think I ENJOY getting a feeling of unfathomable dread and anxiety whenever she (or anyone really) does specific things?

 

[Master_Yoda77]

leaving prints on things? So, she cannot touch anything? No offense here broseidon, but you sound a little crazy. I don't think telling her to just "stop" doing something you don't like is the right method though, perhaps phrasing it like "listen, I have this weird ass thing with X and I would really appreciate it if you would try and refrain from doing X." Maybe she doesn't even know she's doing it

Also, see my Autism Thread. I don't let people borrow my fucking books because I'm afraid they will break the spine. I'm like "Listen, I love you and shit, but I can't let you borrow my Gardens of the Moon novel. It's nothing personal, I'm just autistic as fuck with my books."

IDK. Do drugs.

 

[The Butt]

leaving prints on things? So, she cannot touch anything? No offense here broseidon, but you sound a little crazy. I don't think telling her to just "stop" doing something you don't like is the right method though, perhaps phrasing it like "listen, I have this weird ass thing with X and I would really appreciate it if you would try and refrain from doing X." Maybe she doesn't even know she's doing it

Also, see my Autism Thread. I don't let people borrow my fucking books because I'm afraid they will break the spine. I'm like "Listen, I love you and shit, but I can't let you borrow my Gardens of the Moon novel. It's nothing personal, I'm just autistic as fuck with my books."

IDK. Do drugs.

I don't mind her touching my things so long as she asks and at least gives her hands a short little courtesy wash beforehand. I mean, its not necessary every single time... but leaving visible grease or food residue on my things fills me with dread.

And yeah, I am sorta crazy, I'll readily admit it. Mental disorders aren't rational or logical.

Its easier when I'm outside, when I'm out I can sorta suspend my OCD as it's public space; its not my things, so I don't give a shit. Most people can't even tell. But at home, its my space, I have boundaries about my space and my things.

 

[MasterOLightning]

I hear you, Butt. I'm not OCD, but I'm enough of an aspie to care when people are modifying my things in some sense. For example, if someone wants to wash out a used glass I left on the counter, I take it as a great offense. It's a judgment on my cleanliness levels. I get greatly annoyed if someone rearranges my dishes/CDs/fridge without asking.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

That's not OCD, that's just liking YOUR things the way you like them. If someone tried to organize my books I'd tell them to fuck off. I got the impression that just laying a finger on one of the Butt's things and he'd freak out or something. I'm sure that's not true, but that was my interpretation.

 

[The Butt]

As long as someone's hands are clean and they let me know first "hey I'm using your phone/PS3/etc", they can do what they want with my shit. If their hands have oil or food residue, then yeah, I get a feeling of major anxiety deep down, but I'm generally very polite about telling them afterwards for next time "hey, please don't _______".

The only time I've ever been rude about it was one time in a Magic tournament, it was ten years ago, I was 15. My opponent had dirty cheesie fingers (stereotypical fedora wearing Magic nerd motherfucker) and attempted to handle my cards so I called a judge over about it. For the remainder of the match whenever the deck needed cut, the judge had to do it.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

See, this shit about the clean hands sounds crazy to me. It's like, I'm not allowed to open your door unless I wash my hands.

 

[The Butt]

See, this shit about the clean hands sounds crazy to me. It's like, I'm not allowed to open your door unless I wash my hands.

A door I couldn't give less of a shit about. Its just my possessions tbh, such as my phone, PS3 + controllers, TV, etc. Visible prints on my shit drives me mad.

And again, yeah it is crazy. I like to think I've come a long way though since childhood. Maybe someday I'll overcome it completely. But not today.

 

[tagradh]

my Gardens of the Moon novel.

You people really need to read some other books. Everything always seems to involve this series. It's good but jeez.

 

[The Ozzman]

That book is next on my list to read once I finish LOTR. Hope it isn't being overhyped.

 

[tagradh]

It's okay, but it's not great. The second is much better.

 

[Zephyrus]

RJ, it simply sounds to me like either your personality is totally incompatible with cohabiting with other human beings, or your partner simply isn't rational/mature/responsible enough to be living on her own with someone else. I imagine it's somewhere in between, and so I suggest you both take steps to mitigate some of your more unreasonable eccentricities (therapy, perhaps), while at the same time find someone who is more easygoing and tolerant of your peculiarities, or else someone with similar peculiarities who can see from your point of view, i.e. someone more intelligent.

 

[The Butt]

Tbh I actually have came a long way from my days as a teen, but I see your point. I still have a bit to go.

I should just live with my roommate Jonah though tbh. I intend to ask him if he wants to split 50/50 on a place. Then I have my own space and he has his.

As for the ex, bang-on tbh. If she apologized I'd be more tolerant of her sticking around, but I'm not gonna get back with her. At least not right away, she is too intolerant and she needs to see that I am standing my ground finally. If she does apologize, I am gonna give it a couple weeks and if she wants to be back together after then, then we will see, if she is on good behavior. If not, I'm just gonna ask buddy Jonah if he wants to split on another place without her around.

 

[Zephyrus]

I'd cut your losses and go with the bro right now. Having a Platonic roommate is a good strategy for helping you deal with your own problems (rather than isolating yourself/avoiding the issue). Sounds like it will take a good deal of time before you're capable of sharing a space with a significant other.

 

[Serjeant Grumbles]

Platonic with a capital P? You mean having a roommate who literally follows the philosophy of Plato?