Akirahito said:
This is important learning. All of life's excesses exist in the moment only, but having a good life requires planning for the whole thing (and not the "hole thing" as the case may be).
Marriage
- Thread starter Pitiless Wanderer
- Start date
This is important learning. All of life's excesses exist in the moment only, but having a good life requires planning for the whole thing (and not the "hole thing" as the case may be).
but sex isnt one of those things that just "exists in the moment"...infact it is a huge reason why divorces end, either directly or indirectly. problems in the bedroom can and usually do directly cause other marrital problems and the biggest problem in between the sheets, over time, is boredom. who wouldnt get sick of having sex with the same woman for 40 years straight? there are always exceptions, but the majority of men I bet would agree with me on that one.
Sex is more important to some than others. Just because it's very important when you're younger doesnt mean it will be just as important when you're 40, I understand that.........but it doesnt mean it wont be, either.
Sex is more important to some than others. Just because it's very important when you're younger doesnt mean it will be just as important when you're 40, I understand that.........but it doesnt mean it wont be, either.
So, have you come to a conclusion yet DevyMetal? Are you going to marry the young lass, or hold off?
Norsemaiden
barbarian
It probably would be boring to have sex with the same person for 40 years if your sex drive remained undiminished for that time - that rarely happens however. In fact a man's sex drive is strongest during adolescence and a woman's is strongest in her 30s and 40s. http://www.sex-drive-guide.com/
Im going to visit her for 3 weeks in one weeks time. I'm sure we'll talk more about it then. I have issues here in the states I have to tend to (she lives in europe) like some medical issues that could put a definite hold on plans if things get complicated. Im leaning toward staying with her but not getting married for a while.
Arttiv
Ist krieg!
Marriage is great to have, fun to hold but if it's broken just say it was like that when you picked it up.
Dushan S
Member
Devy Metal, why do you assume that sex with a person must become boring after a while? I am asking because it seems that your doubts are not based on facts, what you feel about the girl at this stage of relationship but on assuming what will hapen based on some experiences of other people?
Simply, if long lasting sexual attraction is very important for you, aim to find a person that makes you horny by her very presence. Long lasting love and long lasting sexual attraction can be found in one person, so if sex is that much important for you, just be sure to find a person that is extremely attractive to you, not by "She's a hot chick" factor, but because she makes uncontrolable hormonal activity by her very presence, I don't know if I can easily explain difference. First thing can be mental, or just coming out of natural need for sex, second thing is something bigger, kind of strong chemistry that is subconsious reaction when you are close to someone.
I was in one long relationship that was like that, and even we have gone separate ways, we are still frends, and care about each other, and that also shows that even there was strong sexual factor, we were close in many other ways. So again, just be sure to settle down with a girl/woman that makes you feel out of your mind like that, and that is also a good friend, mate whatever, and you can have your combination: Long lasting relationship-marriage-lot of sex-not feeling boring. Don't let all those stories about married people getting bored, divorsed etc make you think that this is only reality of long relationships, becoming bored, and sexually uninterested in your wife that becomes some kind of asexual roommate to share responsabilities with.
Simply, if long lasting sexual attraction is very important for you, aim to find a person that makes you horny by her very presence. Long lasting love and long lasting sexual attraction can be found in one person, so if sex is that much important for you, just be sure to find a person that is extremely attractive to you, not by "She's a hot chick" factor, but because she makes uncontrolable hormonal activity by her very presence, I don't know if I can easily explain difference. First thing can be mental, or just coming out of natural need for sex, second thing is something bigger, kind of strong chemistry that is subconsious reaction when you are close to someone.
I was in one long relationship that was like that, and even we have gone separate ways, we are still frends, and care about each other, and that also shows that even there was strong sexual factor, we were close in many other ways. So again, just be sure to settle down with a girl/woman that makes you feel out of your mind like that, and that is also a good friend, mate whatever, and you can have your combination: Long lasting relationship-marriage-lot of sex-not feeling boring. Don't let all those stories about married people getting bored, divorsed etc make you think that this is only reality of long relationships, becoming bored, and sexually uninterested in your wife that becomes some kind of asexual roommate to share responsabilities with.
Devy_Metal said:
You can always have affairs and/or mistresses (especially easy if this is a intercontinental relationship). Plus, you can, like most people, get a divorce after a while. But I imagine if you had to stay with someone for the rest of your life, you better not only find tham attractive, but you better be good friends with them. Ive witnessed alot of marriages crumble because the two were in love only, and had nothing to talk about.
