Marriage

[Fenrisúlfr]

The odds for divorce and getting screwed financially are one in the same for the already-stated reasons: lawyers, alimony, &c.
As for it being the fault of the lawyers and courts: they are only supplying a demand. What is at fault is the state getting into the marriage business; those buggers cannot seem to mind their business.

I will never get married, nor reproduce for such reasons. "Buffet-style" feminism where the women can chose which tenets they chose to follow at any given time has made such things impossible, and I'd rather get the snip than ever pay a dime in child support. Things may be different in Dubai, who knows...

 

[Vimana]

I want to have kids. Because I want to be able to pass my name, my genes, and my knowledge on. And watch them grow. But I think I will only have one or two. And I want boys. Sure they can get angry and lash out physically but there isn't as much crap with them as there is with daughters.

 

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

I want to have kids too, but I don't care what sex they are and I don't care about passing on my name. I'm just a huge evolution nerd and I feel like I owe it to our species to counter-balance the impact of all those other idiots who are having kids these days.

 

[Blowtus]

I will never get married, nor reproduce for such reasons. "Buffet-style" feminism where the women can chose which tenets they chose to follow at any given time has made such things impossible, and I'd rather get the snip than ever pay a dime in child support. Things may be different in Dubai, who knows...

Does such endless financial worry bother you at all? I'd sooner be destitute and care free (welfare doesn't seem that bad!) than weigh my life so economically...

 

[Saturnia]

get married, nor reproduce for such reasons. "Buffet-style" feminism where the women can chose which tenets they chose to follow at any given time has made such things impossible

Can you give a couple of examples of what you mean? I've gotten a bit confused on the meaning of "feminism" over the years.


After reading and hearing everything I do about relationships and marriage, I've realized I look at it differently than most people (like I do most things).

I explain to any man I get involved in that I don't want his money, I don't expect anyone to pay for me, and he better not buy me anything expensive. That I don't care what kind of car or home he has. Also, that he won't have to give up playing video games or hanging out with his friends, just like I won't give up any of my hobbies. Everyone needs their "me" time, and we'll have enough in common (being into the same music, movies, hobbies) that when we have "our" time, it will be fun, or at least pleasant. That I won't be conforming to what society expects of me. That I find most things costly, petty, pointless, and boring, and I don't want much. That his money and stuff is his, mine in mine.

I'd rather be a laidback person to be with.

Many wonder why I'd even bother getting involved, or married. I guess I just find ways to have the least crap in my life.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

Does such endless financial worry bother you at all? I'd sooner be destitute and care free (welfare doesn't seem that bad!) than weigh my life so economically...

Perhaps you should be asking the destitute their preferences on the matter? I am a bit surprised that many harbour such a distaste, though given the quality of education in this country in areas economic, it comes as no surprise.
In retrospect, I got lucky on account of my views, as prudence toward such matters has allowed for my education to be financed despite my parents' divorce.

Can you give a couple of examples of what you mean? I've gotten a bit confused on the meaning of "feminism" over the years.

It was a term my friend in Alaska uses on occasion, as there appear to be two main 'columns' to chose from: "We do not need a man, we are independent" and "We are entitled to all of these things that men have produced". Frankly, the only thing that any so-called 'protected group' is entitled to is equality before the contract, as the profit-seeking mechanism of the free market would ensure a fair wage, though not overnight.

 

[Demonic viscera]

I'm not getting married. Jessica (gf) and I have been together almost 2 years . In that time we have barely argued and have never had a fight. We both agreed that there is no need to get married. I find the key is to not go into a relationship expecting more than you would do for yourself. High expectation and the disapointment of realizing you actually have to work all your life and strive for personal greatness seems to make people think that when the get married all the worlds problems will go away. Infact , not only do you have to rearange your own lifestyle to cope, but you have to have the personal strength to know when you are being used. Being used for financial support, or otherwise is no basis for any kind of relationship.

You could even go as far as saying divorce is another way of saying love recesion.

 

[Vimana]

I feel like I owe it to our species to counter-balance the impact of all those other idiots who are having kids these days.

I do too. I used to think idiots needed to be made unable to reproduce. But now I think the system should change so that the more intelligent people can get into positions where they can make a good difference instead of serving fries at McDonalds for not being able to regurgitate enough information.

 

[speed]

Does such endless financial worry bother you at all? I'd sooner be destitute and care free (welfare doesn't seem that bad!) than weigh my life so economically...

Ditto.

I dont know, but I think its obvious many here are not ready to get married. Everyone is so pessimistic and analytical. For whatever reason, I do think if one really loves another, marriage, while not necessary, is a wonderful symbol of committment and love. But I suppose I will soon discover if that is the case. Still, if you really love someone, than I dont think marriage is that difficult, and all of these other factors are of minor importance.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

To each their own (demise) I suppose; hope you beat the odds.

 

[Blowtus]

To worry about the odds is to start with the assumption that they are relevant to your situation. That one exists in the same country as others does not automatically mean those others are so similar to oneself...

Judging every situations likelihood of occurring to you by the yardstick of the average seems a pretty straightforward way of failing to assess the situation adequately for anybody 'not average'.

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

If the odds say that there is a 50% that things will blow up in his face, then it just may not be a good idea to put one's self in such a situation to begin with.

As for average, I am not on the ground to assess the situation, so I grant that in this specific circumstance there may be factors that are not being taken into account. However, the problem with this 'self-esteem'-oriented culture is that everyone thinks they are 'special', and would bet decent money that at least 75% of the 50% of couples who divorced thought their 'love' was 'not average' too. No one would have entered into a marriage if they thought their 'love' would not die, but numbers do not lie (and spouses do!)

 

[derek]

There really is something too clinical about your approach.

 

[razoredge]

Well, good, so we all get a birds eye view to the types that are controlling the show. I've always known it but here we get to see the "tude", out of the closet, out in the open.

 

[Blowtus]

Razor - what are you talking about?

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

Well, good, so we all get a birds eye view to the types that are controlling the show. I've always known it but here we get to see the "tude", out of the closet, out in the open.

Though I am flattered you think I am of the type that controls the world (and one day, I hope to be owner of a trendy but relatively obscure solar cell manufacturer in Jeddah or somewhere business-friendly), the only thing I manipulate right now is a leveraged brokerage account.

 

[razoredge]

Razor - what are you talking about?

Its not that deep man, before our eyes each and everyday, easily visible to the observant eye and examining mind.

 

[Blowtus]

Not getting any clearer - if you don't want to explain don't bother responding with another post telling me how obvious your initial one was...

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

That is what I am thinking....I would tell you more but I'm still learning the funny handshake

 

[razoredge]

Not getting any clearer - if you don't want to explain don't bother responding with another post telling me how obvious your initial one was...

It was a bit obvious... no ?