Mikael's live quotes

[Heir Apparent]

First thing he says to the crowd "It's hot up here....like sexy"
Someone yells "you fucking rock" mike says "I fucking stink....no really I smell like shit"
Some yells for them to play BRI, "that song stinks, it's a gimmick, you only want to here it because its long....which makes it awesome."
Some one yells CAMEL. Mike starts playing and singing a bit from Lady Fantasy, "I bet you think this sounds like children's music, they are good so fuck you".
"Axe has this pair of jeans they smell like piss, cum, shit and vomit. It's only 4 shows into the tour".
"If theres something I hate it's dancers, people who try to make a living out of dancing. Except for one dance, and thats the electric boogie, and robot moves.....I would love to learn that shit."

 

[foodforthegods]

Quebec city october 26 2006

-Mike: We got 2 more songs to play!
Crowd cheers
-Mike: Here's the first! (he played a chord)
Crowd cheers
-Mike: Here's the last (he did a shitty chord who sounded really bad)
Crowd cheers
-Mike: You like it???
Crowd Cheers
-Mike: KILL THEM!

-Mike: We got a new single out! You know it?
Fan screaming: THE GRAND CONSULATION
-Mike: What???? WTF you talking about...I dont know that song


Quebec city september 20th 2008

(mike playing a riff)
Mike: ROCK N ROLL!!!
(Plays the same riff)
Mike: HEAVY METAL!!!
(Plays the same riff but a huge feedback happened)
Mike: SHIT SOUND!!!


-Mike: We got a new album out! it's called Watershit!


Mike is talking on the mic and axe is playing is snare

-Mike: STOP PLAYING THAT FUCKING SNARE YOU FUCKER


-Mike: We done lots of retard stuff in our life...one album was the most retard album we ever record ,it'S called damnation. Our metal credibility was on Hold. But metalheads are retard. I know that because i am one.

 

[isolation_years]

*before watershed was released*
Mike : im going to play 5 songs and if you guess all of them we'll play an encore

*plays 4 songs*

*plays coil*

everyone yells out "coil"

Mike: How the fuck do you know that

 

[Purple Haze]

Rock Am Rong

Mikael : If you want us to play another song, you have to let me know, what chord I'm playing right now.

Crowd: barely can hear a "Yeah" ( yeah..lame crowd)

Mikael: (plays a chord)...What chord was that?

Crowd: GGGG!!!

Mikael: That is correct, that was G, How about this one? (plays a chord)

Crowd: DDDD!!

Mikael: D?? Very good, This one (plays a chord)

Crowd: Noise ( I dont know what they said)

Mikael: That was the best chord of them all! E minor, you passed this stupid fucking test ( Crowd screams), We'll play one more song for you, we've got time for it I think and please keep warm by headbang, This one is the favorite song of ( I think he said a name but I dont get it) its about sodomy and people that's retarded.....Deliverance

 

[Kir-ir-Bannog]

Nottingham Rock City

"WE ARE THE AMBASSADORS OF COCK ROCK"

 

[Purple Haze]

In the ghost reveries Dvd:

What kind of music do you think germans like?

Heavy Metuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul!

Black Wut Inmutallllllll!!!!

Metuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul!

Genious lol

 

[Vega Skater]

Referring to the lyrics of Under the Weeping Moon as

"black metal nonsense, but the music is still good".

 

[philno]

mike is so funny!!!!!

hahaa

what other comedy do you guys like?? i like dick jokes and one liners esp dane cookk...

 

[grandis]

On "Metal Rock Fest" this summer, in Lillehammer:

*Introducing Master's Apprentices*
Mike: "If you don't know this song, you've probably been sitting in your mother's basement all your life and wanking to Xena The Warrior princess."

And it was some random jokes about Joey Tempest and Mikael's Schwarzenegger shirt, don't remember them though

 

[Ozzloaf]

"I don't think Abba should be a guilty pleasure, I think everyone should fucking love them."

 

[OminousInane]

In the ghost reveries Dvd:

What kind of music do you think germans like?

Heavy Metuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul!

Black Wut Inmutallllllll!!!!

Metuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul!

Genious lol

I die laughing everytime I watch it,

 

[Twelveby5]

another, GOLD.

 

[PE]

At Melloboat: "Ni vet Daniel från Katatonia, Han är riktigt, riktigt äcklig."
Transl.: "You know Daniel from Katatonia, He is really, really disgusting."

 

[-Davo]

"Mendez will now perform one hour of spoken word" - Sydney Sept 6th

 

[Dojebon]

My personal favorite so far. Paraphrased a bit though.

"I awoke to the faint smell of pot smoke. I got out of my bunk, sat down on my laptop with my coffee and orange juice to check my email like every other heavy metal star. During this, I turned around to find Fredrick standing shirtless in a haze of weed smoke wearing a pig mask. This is how our tours go."

 

[Lenni]

At Wacken, years ago:

"The next song is from Blackwater Park, a very important album for us.
From the money alone I bought... not one, but two castles in switzerland.
This one is called The Leper Affinity."

 

[Sad Madrigal]

Unfortunately, I live in Romania, and I have never been able to see Opeth live but I love when he says "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" on The Roundhouse Tapes.

 

[StealerAG]

Epic topic.

 

[Karbalowz]

At Ilosaarirock 2007:

"This next song is a ballad for my girlfriend" *deliverance*
"There is nothing wrong in Finland, you just suck at ice hockey"
"We've been on a break for awhile now, so we are bit rusty. Not that it matters, its all playback anyway"

 

[in_my_time_of_disease]

mike is so funny!!!!!

hahaa

what other comedy do you guys like?? i like dick jokes and one liners esp dane cookk...