Shouldnt the parents provide you with an appropriate opinion long before you would see the first sex on tv? Also, how much sex is there on regular tv? Hardcore porn does not air at all on german tv and softcore only after midnight.. how excessively can one watch tv after midnight before a strong opinion on sex is formed I wonder? Of course, if you download hardcore porn off the internet and expose yourself to it over years, it will change your ideas of sex, relations and love.
Anyway, I didnt mean to say tv was the cause for any violence, but maybe it's not about what you do routinely? With a murder-rate 15 to 20 times higher than in Europe, the question must be allowed whether violence is really what should be on tv. Not that Im in favor of banning content in general, but Im also not in favor of parents not taking care of their children or of tv taking the main role during a kid's upbringing..
I completely agree with the last statement. Parents should by all means not leave TV to do their job. And as Kirby Dick aptly states in the movie I mentioned, it all boils down to the individual child's level of maturity and ability to filter contents critically. I sneaked behind my parents' backs to read a famous horror comic through my teenage years and I do regret it, because it definitely was responsible for worsening a certain gloomy inclination I naturally have. I know there was a clear link, because images and words from that comic still pop into my mind unbidden when I'm feeling particularly sad - it's not the gore that got to me, but rather the sense of impending doom and devastation.
On the other hand, sex on TV and on the internet. That's probably two different things. As you say, repeated exposure to hardcore porn does probably impact on a person's view of relationships, and this is easier to verify because people get way more chances to infuse their normal sexual activity with suggestions from pornography than they do, aside from deranged cases, to practice their drive-by shooting (but i'll get back to that later). There is medical literature on the averse long-term impact of porn on healthy sexual functioning, but even barring these situations we hear everyday on the news about teenagers mimicking porn flicks and shooting videos with their mobiles. Now, as I have said in the past, I do not believe that today's teenagers are more obsessed with sex than we were as teenagers, but I reckon most of them are going about it in a different way. When pornography was harder to get one's hands on, people branched out in the territory of sexuality interacting - at least a little - with people of their preferred gender. True, there still was a lot of solitary pleasure and frustrated desires, but if you wanted to satisfy your curiosity about how naked bodies really looked you still had to try and socialize. And of course during socialization one also got side-tracked by factors that were not strictly inherent to genitalia, such as personalities and relationships, which is the way it should be if we want to subscribe, as I do, to the idea that sex is a normal part of life: yes, it is, and it normally happens in the context of people interacting socially, be it for a one-night stand or for a relationship ending in marriage and children. Sex is a part of getting to know other people, and if sexual information hits people before they actually engage in the process everything is going to come out fairly skewed. You mention parental responsibility, but do you think you're really going to be able to stop your kids from looking at internet porn? I know I won't be, even if I'm pretty much of a nerd and know stuff about
current file-sharing technologies; by the time I have a teen under my roof, however, I will be probably hopeless, and even if I manage to keep up with evolving technology, I don't have eyes in the back of my head. And honestly, I'd rather my son be smart and be able to cover his tracks than be dumb and get caught in the act. Faced with someone way younger and with more time on his hands to learn about e-concealment, I will stand no chance in a battle of wits. Of course there's where trust comes into play, but I don't really expect a teenager to resist the lure of online sex only because his parents say he should.
Does this mean we should censor everything? No, it doesn't. But maybe we should take a step back and rethink what we deem "normal". There's where TV comes in. Most Hollywood films have sex scenes, and although they do not show private parts explicitly, they do something that is quite worse: they portray the fact that it's
perfectly normal to sleep with someone a couple of hours after meeting them, and they generally follow a plotline that is chauvinistic at best: girl is in danger, boy saves her, they fuck. Or: boy wins football match, girl fawns, they fuck. And so on. I know this is not exactly new, but I'd rather people didn't grow up with that crap in mind. And the other bell is even worse: look at
Sex and the City, which is supposedly about switching the pendulum back to a more balanced position, and is fucking up everything way worse, showing women that take pride in being emotionally shallow. As icing on the cake, you have idiotic romances: delicate, flower-child boy is able to understand delicate, flower-child girl better than anyone, so they fuck. It's always about the fucking, one way or the other.
Now, I don't want to sound moralistic. I loved
Boys don't cry, which featured homosexual lovemaking, heterosexual rape, detailed renditions of dressing in drag and fake penises, plus a swathe of other blunt imagery that had the censors reeling, and finally a vicious shooting. In that case, however, everything was there for a clear reason: if crude scenes will help drive home the point that hating gays is completely wrong, then I'm all for them. Especially when the plotline makes so much sense: the denouement that brings the main character to get Lara into bed is actually painful to watch, what with having to overcome resistance and prejudice, and having all the trouble that comes with a hidden identity. Their time together is the apex of a process with emotional and psychological relevance. I'm not saying that this applies to gay stories only, given their explosive potential: there are of course a lot of movies picturing heterosexual intercourse which have thousands of reasons for the sex being there, even - and especially, may i add - when it's shocking (think
Lolita or
Eyes wide shut, which is one of my favorite movies touching on the theme of the correct context for exercising sexuality).
To wrap up - so what we should do? Banning movies is not a solution, and it is morally revolting. But I don't think that rating them as R or NC-17 if they are overfocused on sexuality can be wrong. Damn it, I loved
Ken Park, but I'm just glad I was 25 when I watched it, I would have been completely confused had I seen it at 15. Who in their right mind would want such a movie labeled PG-13? It just does not make sense. The whole point of
This film is not yet rated was: too many things are rated NC-17 rather than R, and this hurts film-makers. I would however still err on the side of caution: who the fuck cares about extra profits? Nobody ever died for having to wait a couple more years to watch a movie, and I guess most watchers are going to be glad in retrospect. No adult is embarassed being caught watching NC-17 stuff, if it's not hardcore porn.
As for violence, well, following the same prudential principle, if there is too much gore then by all means make it NC-17. However, in some cases, such as the one of the documentary about soldiers in Iraq (forget the title now), the MPAA should really lighten up and realize that people need to have a realistic look at what's going on in the news, not be protected from the fact that real life is sometimes less than pretty. I wouldn't make such a movie anything worse than PG, even if there is a lot of blood, a lot of drug use, a lot of cursing, and a lot of death. It's like deciding that we're not going to tell children about modern-day concentration camps or infibulation because they're going to get ideas. Well, they should.