my mom is dead, should i feel bad about it?

[monoxide_child]

There's no right or wrong to feel. If this comes naturally, then you're right where you should be. It doesn't matter if the majority of people would think it's wrong, so never question your emotions or any actions based off of other peoples reactions (in moderation).

thnx

 

[-(Of the void perfected)-]

i want serious discussion about death here
i really want everyone's opinions about this
am i really such a cruel monster for not feeling sad that my mom died???
or do you feel that i am justified in my feeling of relief and happiness because of her death?

At least your being honest with yourself about how u feel.If she made life a total mire of misery for your,then guess what shes gone and you reasoning for being happy about it is understandable.

 

[monoxide_child]

thnx

also
this forum was totally dead for a min
thank you people for coming back

 

[monoxide_child]

today is mother's day

i've always hated mother's day

everyone i know is acting totally different than the way they normally act and it's getting kinda annoying

 

[Spiderchrist]

Sorry to hear that, brother.

 

[Rough Divide]

Why in the fuck would anyone sympathize with you if you're not even feeling sorry for yourself, besides it's not anyones job to feel sorry for others especially over shit you wish you gave a fuck about.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

I agree with you completely dude, you don't need to feel bad just because you clearly didn't love your mother.

I don't really love my mother either. Why do people feel like you have to, just because the bitch spread her legs, got pregnant, and didn't get an abortion? Most people have kids as an ego boost or proof their partner loves them anyways.

But that's something I'm not getting into, my opinions on children and the nuclear family unit in general are frowned upon and I don't wanna hurt the feelings of happy parents.

 

[monoxide_child]

I agree with you completely dude, you don't need to feel bad just because you clearly didn't love your mother.

I don't really love my mother either. Why do people feel like you have to, just because the bitch spread her legs, got pregnant, and didn't get an abortion? Most people have kids as an ego boost or proof their partner loves them anyways.

But that's something I'm not getting into, my opinions on children and the nuclear family unit in general are frowned upon and I don't wanna hurt the feelings of happy parents.

my female chef (whom i talk about frequently on the GMD Social forum) is a woman who cries on my shoulder atleast once a week (litterally her tears actually soaking the shoulder part of my shirt) and almost every single mother fucking time i have to deal with her curled up on my lap crying, she's crying about how crappy her boyfriend is

this woman never uses any kind of birth-control because she somehow thinks that getting pregnant will have the effect of making her crappy boyfriend magically turn into an awesome person

me personnally, i'm my mother's 2nd child, me and my older sister have 2 different fathers, our mom and my sister's dad broke up long before i was concieved, our mom and my dad were a one-night-stand, she found out she was pregnant with me in the morning and found out my dad was engaged to someone else in the afternoon of the same fucking day, and even though my dad was engaged to someone else (in the middle of his fucking honeymoon the day i was born) my mom briefly thought about aborting me, and then dicided not to just simply because she wanted her first kid "to have a playmate"
seriously
the reason i didn't end up being an abortion is so my older sister "could have a playmate"

my mom was completely totally flat-ass broke the day i was concieved, totally flat-ass broke my entire fucking childhood, had a 3rd kid with a 3rd man, made no fucking attempt to collect any child-support from any of our dads, and the whole reason she had 3 kids instead of just 1, was just so that her 1st kid could have playmates

and my dad has children with an entire dozen different women, (i've actually met most of my father's kids) didn't bother to interact with any of them at all whatsoever, didn't financially support any of them even though he's as rich-as-hell, and didn't show up to my birth because he was on his freaking honeymoon

so, forgive me if a have a problem with the whole "honor thy mother and father" thing

 

[Carpe Mortem]

I just have a philosophical issue with the concept of honoring one's parents on the sole basis of them being the human beings who fucked and birthed you. I mean yeah I had some shit to deal with growing up, but I like to think my feelings go beyond that to become genuinely legitimate, rational views on paternity. If a parent or parents suck, it's actually bad for your mental health to want them to love you. You're better off distancing yourself.

My parents have gotten a lot cooler in time. I think they feel bad for my childhood, so they try really hard (almost pathetically so) to get my approval. And granted I'm still pretty cold towards my mom, but someday we may have a decent relationship.

 

[monoxide_child]

If a parent or parents suck, it's actually bad for your mental health to want them to love you. You're better off distancing yourself

this^^ is the whole freaking point i was trying to make with this thread

also
i actually busted out laughing when i found out my mom had died and i wanted to talk about that, needed to talk about it to make sure i was sane and not totally a monster

 

[Hannibal_Lecter]

i actually busted out laughing when i found out my mom had died and i wanted to talk about that, needed to talk about it to make sure i was sane and not totally a monster

No, you're not a monster, and yes you're sane, hell, you might be the most sane person on ultimate metal

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

anyone else want to join this discussion about how crazy parents can be??

 

[Bloopy]

The "sane" / "normal" response is often to keep dwelling and continue feeling negative emotions. Eg. anger and resentment because your shitty parent died without ever apologising or admitting their mistakes.

If you felt something like that for a moment before you snapped out of it and took a step back to see things from the funny perspective and laugh your ass off then I can relate. It's one of the ways I deal with negative emotions. Forcing yourself to think about something from the "wrong"/loony perspective. Sort of a healthy, simulated craziness.

If you didn't experience anything like that and just burst out laughing straight away then I guess you're crazy, but not necessarily in an unhealthy way. It's still a respectable way of handling the absurdity of life.

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

actually
my first thought-response was "3 fucking weeks?? why the fuck didn't anyone tell me sooner than this??"
then came "an entire 3 weeks!! damm!! all my stuff that i had in her apt is in a landfill somewhere now"
then came "yay!! the annoying woman is dead" and then came the laughing

 

[616]

It doesn't just boil down to "should I feel sad" ..it depends..on several factors, personalities, attitudes, actions,
My real parents where drug and alcohol riddled messes that where also abusive, to the point where I was taken away from them with broken bones. I have no idea if they are still alive, and quite frankly if I heard they had died, I would only be disappointed that I hadn't had the chance to confront them about their treatment of me.

So, using my case as an example, the only real answer to the original question is, no you shouldn't necessarily feel anything specific, we are complex creatures with complex emotions and thoughts. trying to divide things into simplistic yes or no categories just doesn't cover all bases.

Personally I think however you feel, is the right feeling, you cant just change feeling because someone says "that's wrong" it doesn't work like that

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

It doesn't just boil down to "should I feel sad" ..it depends..on several factors, personalities, attitudes, actions,
My real parents where drug and alcohol riddled messes that where also abusive, to the point where I was taken away from them with broken bones. I have no idea if they are still alive, and quite frankly if I heard they had died, I would only be disappointed that I hadn't had the chance to confront them about their treatment of me.

So, using my case as an example, the only real answer to the original question is, no you shouldn't necessarily feel anything specific, we are complex creatures with complex emotions and thoughts. trying to divide things into simplistic yes or no categories just doesn't cover all bases.

Personally I think however you feel, is the right feeling, you cant just change feeling because someone says "that's wrong" it doesn't work like that

thanks for joining this conversation

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

i suddenly want @Terasophe to read this thread

 

[Sophii]

Interesting thread Blurry, I sympathize mostly given I don't quite...like my own parents either? I'd probably cry if they died, but thats because I'm a fucking crybaby.

I still gotta read your wattpad stories of your character now. I'm glad you coped with your moms death in a way that was right for you. I mean, you didn't hurt anyone physically, so onky you can feel whatever way you feel.

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

@zabu of nΩd

Interesting thread Blurry, I sympathize mostly given I don't quite...like my own parents either? I'd probably cry if they died, but thats because I'm a fucking crybaby.

I still gotta read your wattpad stories of your character now. I'm glad you coped with your moms death in a way that was right for you. I mean, you didn't hurt anyone physically, so onky you can feel whatever way you feel.

what's actually missing from this thread is the details of exactly why i had stopped talking to my mom when she died and all the other fucked up shit that had happened between us before that
but, I'm now thinking that all the fucked up shit i went through should really be a whole separate "hating parents" or "fucked up childhood" thread that i might create at some point later
I've been abnormally honest on ultimatemetal, there's a girl who consistently refers to me as "the resident man-hoe" and another girl who calls my dick "the village dildo" i've been the punching bag for violent girlfriends (yes it's plural) and i've been able to talk openly about sleeping outdoors eating homeless-people-food and using crystal meth https://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/threads/the-free-food-for-thought-fireplace-talkshow.846333/
i've been using ultimatemetal as a kinda venting thing where on ultimatemetal i'm saying the specific kinds of things that paranoid people would be afraid of talking about on the internet
some of my monoxide posts were just me being a troll (https://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/search/106924138/?q=whooty&t=post&o=relevance&c[thread]=605240 https://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/search/106924151/?q=whooty&t=post&o=relevance&c[thread]=334435 )

but here in this specific thread, my weirdly-open style of posting wasn't me having fun, it was me feeling an intense need to talk and thoroughly and properly articulate the weirdness of what was going on in my head when my emotions didn't conform to social standards and my mind's Asperger's-syndrome way of abnormally analyzing the world didn't match the mask people wear to create "civilized society"
i'll prolly never be able to hear from testiclemilkshake ever again, and this is a little sad to me, because her responses in this thread helped me deal with my mom dying better than anything that was ever said by anyone that has ever met me face-2-face

i'm continually re-writing them, and i've been procrastinating putting them up on line
won't put up all of them anyway
i'll post some, and then save the rest for getting printed in an actual in-your-hands pages-of-paper-printed-book (fuck e-books) that i'll "self-publish" (as in i have physical possession of every copy printed, and i''l have to do the marketing myself) i'll prolly go through https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=minuteman+press+dallas

i'm not gonna physically hurt people (didn't even hit back the girls who used me as a punching bag)

 

[no country for old wainds]

i fucked blurry’s dead mom