Official Off Topic Thread
- Thread starter theodyssey
- Start date
Random question/situation to run by you guys:
Turns out I may have an internet stalker of sorts. I've run through, in my head, various possibilities of someone I know just messing me with it and I've ruled that out. This dude added me on facebook a while ago, and while I normally don't add people I don't know, I saw that he was a fan of my music profile on FB and lived here in St. Paul, so I went ahead and added him thinking he was just someone who came to a show or something. It's not uncommon for that to happen to me or for people who get referred to me for work stuff to add me on FB so I didn't think much of it.
About a week ago the guy started chatting with me on FB asking questions about guitar/amp repair and some issues he was having. I gladly obliged and that was that. Tonight, he started chatting with me again, asking questions about the college I went to, the audition processes, etc. Since I know that program inside out and spent 3 years working in the admissions office there, I was happy to help. Then, out of the blue, he starts calling me an assortment of names and talking whatever kind of shit he could muster up, spams my page with comments using every synonym one could come up with for "gay", harasses me a bit more via chat, etc.
So, I check out his profile, find out that he lives in downtown St. Paul (i.e. no more than a couple blocks away from me, if that) has a ton of pictures of downtown, some of which I am 99% sure are taken in the apartment building I live in, has a music page set up that reveals most of the same information, etc. Also, some of the comments he made lead me to believe that he knows stuff about me that he didn't find out via Facebook (i.e. how specific some of his questions were about my school, guitar repair, etc.).
I didn't bother humoring him, and before I could do so myself, he blocked me from his profile entirely. Now, the fact that he A)lives in close proximity to me B)knows stuff about me that I'm not sure he could've found on the internet and C)potentially has information about my work/personal life that he could've lifted off of my facebook page or elsewhere has me a little bit bothered. I just had a friend deal with some stalker issues, and after a year of these guys harassing her through her job, school, etc. (for example...they called in an anonymous sexual harassment complaint to her boyfriend's employer and got him suspended from work for the duration of an investigation), I'm a little on edge about the nature of this particular situation.
We had a couple mutual friends, so I sent out messages asking if anyone actually knows who the guy is and I am waiting to hear back. Again, I've ruled out the possibility of someone I know/a friend just fucking around with me. I guess all I'm uncertain about at this point is whether or not to just forget about it and assume the guy was just going for a quick laugh and will cut the crap. Or, do I be more proactive about it, find out exactly who the guy is, what his deal is, and go out of my way to get shit taken care of now? Because so much of what I do professionally is based on networking/word of mouth and because I work with children, I don't know that I want to take the chance if this guy trying to fuck with me professionally. I also don't want to be overly paranoid (as I'm sure this excessive post is making me out to be) and make a big deal out of something that in all likelihood is just some bored prick having a laugh. Thoughts?
Ugh, the wonders of the information age...
Turns out I may have an internet stalker of sorts. I've run through, in my head, various possibilities of someone I know just messing me with it and I've ruled that out. This dude added me on facebook a while ago, and while I normally don't add people I don't know, I saw that he was a fan of my music profile on FB and lived here in St. Paul, so I went ahead and added him thinking he was just someone who came to a show or something. It's not uncommon for that to happen to me or for people who get referred to me for work stuff to add me on FB so I didn't think much of it.
About a week ago the guy started chatting with me on FB asking questions about guitar/amp repair and some issues he was having. I gladly obliged and that was that. Tonight, he started chatting with me again, asking questions about the college I went to, the audition processes, etc. Since I know that program inside out and spent 3 years working in the admissions office there, I was happy to help. Then, out of the blue, he starts calling me an assortment of names and talking whatever kind of shit he could muster up, spams my page with comments using every synonym one could come up with for "gay", harasses me a bit more via chat, etc.
So, I check out his profile, find out that he lives in downtown St. Paul (i.e. no more than a couple blocks away from me, if that) has a ton of pictures of downtown, some of which I am 99% sure are taken in the apartment building I live in, has a music page set up that reveals most of the same information, etc. Also, some of the comments he made lead me to believe that he knows stuff about me that he didn't find out via Facebook (i.e. how specific some of his questions were about my school, guitar repair, etc.).
I didn't bother humoring him, and before I could do so myself, he blocked me from his profile entirely. Now, the fact that he A)lives in close proximity to me B)knows stuff about me that I'm not sure he could've found on the internet and C)potentially has information about my work/personal life that he could've lifted off of my facebook page or elsewhere has me a little bit bothered. I just had a friend deal with some stalker issues, and after a year of these guys harassing her through her job, school, etc. (for example...they called in an anonymous sexual harassment complaint to her boyfriend's employer and got him suspended from work for the duration of an investigation), I'm a little on edge about the nature of this particular situation.
We had a couple mutual friends, so I sent out messages asking if anyone actually knows who the guy is and I am waiting to hear back. Again, I've ruled out the possibility of someone I know/a friend just fucking around with me. I guess all I'm uncertain about at this point is whether or not to just forget about it and assume the guy was just going for a quick laugh and will cut the crap. Or, do I be more proactive about it, find out exactly who the guy is, what his deal is, and go out of my way to get shit taken care of now? Because so much of what I do professionally is based on networking/word of mouth and because I work with children, I don't know that I want to take the chance if this guy trying to fuck with me professionally. I also don't want to be overly paranoid (as I'm sure this excessive post is making me out to be) and make a big deal out of something that in all likelihood is just some bored prick having a laugh. Thoughts?
Ugh, the wonders of the information age...
ABQShredHead
©1970
I would recommend going to a lawyer (or two or six) for a free consultation, Drew. And get as much of this stuff documented as possible. If something happens, you will need to take legal action, and to take legal action you need documentation. If you deleted all his posts on your FB, you might contact FB to determine how you can get those posts back - a lawyer could even help with that.
Drastic action, yes; but, since your career depends on a cleanliness of record, I would take no chances.
Drastic action, yes; but, since your career depends on a cleanliness of record, I would take no chances.
Thanks for the input. I've documented everything he's said so far...copy/pasted chat transcripts into word documents and taken screencaps of things. Heard back from some people, and nobody knows who he is. Through some sleuthing, my bass player and I found his mom's profile after seeing some comments she made on his stuff, so I'm considering going the more comedic route and sending his mom the chat transcripts. I think at this point I'm going to just keep an ear to the ground and wait to see if he says anything else, at which point I'll certainly at least threaten legal action. Hopefully he's had his laughs and moves on at this point.
ABQShredHead
©1970
Yeah, moms are usually more effective than lawyers. And cheaper. Unless they're deadbeats...
keeperxiii
Awakening...
Amazing the lengths that people go just to annoy others.
Aah, another good reason for me not to join facebook in the near future i guess :|
Good luck with that.
Aah, another good reason for me not to join facebook in the near future i guess :|
Good luck with that.
A few months ago I was harassed at work big time and ended up getting the asshole fired, and Facebook played a huge role in both the harassment and his termination. The situation actually escalated to a federal level for reasons I'd rather not get into in public.
Documenting-wise what you're doing is OK. Printscrn and save are your friends. Seriously document the hell out of everything. Save the messages you sent to mutual friends, too.
I'd say keep the messages to mutual friends to a minimum. You may not know how close he is to other people and you don't want it escalating to a level you don't want it to. Word might get back to him and you don't know how he'll handle it. Dragging his mom into it might not be a good idea since you don't know what his relationship to her is like; though I can't imagine it being that bad since they're facebook friends (limited profile?).
When you were in contact with him, did you go through any of his photos or anything? Just keep an eye out when you're outside. I doubt he's going to jump out of the bushes and kill you, but it's better to be cautious.
Documenting-wise what you're doing is OK. Printscrn and save are your friends. Seriously document the hell out of everything. Save the messages you sent to mutual friends, too.
I'd say keep the messages to mutual friends to a minimum. You may not know how close he is to other people and you don't want it escalating to a level you don't want it to. Word might get back to him and you don't know how he'll handle it. Dragging his mom into it might not be a good idea since you don't know what his relationship to her is like; though I can't imagine it being that bad since they're facebook friends (limited profile?).
When you were in contact with him, did you go through any of his photos or anything? Just keep an eye out when you're outside. I doubt he's going to jump out of the bushes and kill you, but it's better to be cautious.
Kenneth R.
Cináed
Jeeezus man, that's nuts.
I agree with the others, make a paper trail and present it to authorities.
I agree with the others, make a paper trail and present it to authorities.
J-Dubya 777
It NEVER ends
I'd be checking into concealed carry laws in MN, and taking things from there.
People mostly suck, keep that paper trail current, and kick this dude's ass literally & figuratively....
p.s. Beelz, sorry to read about this, glad you were able to give the a-hole what he deserved!
People mostly suck, keep that paper trail current, and kick this dude's ass literally & figuratively....
p.s. Beelz, sorry to read about this, glad you were able to give the a-hole what he deserved!
I hear you man. I'd say first of all don't let the situation and paranoia cloud your judgment. Some four years ago there was this jackass living in the same town who was stalking my gf back then on the internet, talking shit about me and whatnot. He refused to stop despite being asked to, so I took a buddy of mine and we pretty much went ahead and beat the guy up, end of story. Well, DON'T do something like that 
I was younger and it was stupid on my part.
I'd say:
1) See what you can know about this jerk. Try to establish if he's dangerous and/or unbalanced, or just that, some bored jerk, and act accordingly.
2) Like the guys said: save every piece of correspondence, get legal consultation and make sure that your ass is covered legally in advance just in case.
3) If the guy is indeed dangerous contact the authorities already, meanwhile try to stay protected and be around people as much as possible until this whole thing is resolved.
Oh yeah and facebook sucks.
I was younger and it was stupid on my part.I'd say:
1) See what you can know about this jerk. Try to establish if he's dangerous and/or unbalanced, or just that, some bored jerk, and act accordingly.
2) Like the guys said: save every piece of correspondence, get legal consultation and make sure that your ass is covered legally in advance just in case.
3) If the guy is indeed dangerous contact the authorities already, meanwhile try to stay protected and be around people as much as possible until this whole thing is resolved.
Oh yeah and facebook sucks.
Well, that situation look seems to have been resolved. Everything is still documented and I'd love for an excuse to cause some mayhem over the whole thing, but hopefully he's smart and let's it end here.
New thing to deal with this weekend: Snowpocalypse.
New thing to deal with this weekend: Snowpocalypse.
Kenneth R.
Cináed
Harris The Epic
The Keyboard Guy
Oh, hello forum I haven't visited in over three years I think!!
I hope some of you guys remember me. I don't know how much faces have changed over time.
Unfortunately, just "Harris" was already taken, so I'll go by my as of late M.O. for a username.
I was here a few years ago, under the names "Ptah Khnemu" and "Horus", had quite a few posts, and met a few people from here once. I don't really remember what happened, but one day I just sort of disappeared under the rock. I'm pretty sure I was finishing High School when I disappeared.
As for what I've been doing under my rock... smoking a lot of weed and learning a lot about sound and recording. Went to school to be a professional audio engineer, now I'm working as an intern at studios in the New York area.
So I'm back to take over your forum again. Was I missed at all? More importantly, did I miss anything?
(Wow, it's been a long time since I've seen "Posts: 1" under a profile that's mine on a forum.)
I hope some of you guys remember me. I don't know how much faces have changed over time.
Unfortunately, just "Harris" was already taken, so I'll go by my as of late M.O. for a username.
I was here a few years ago, under the names "Ptah Khnemu" and "Horus", had quite a few posts, and met a few people from here once. I don't really remember what happened, but one day I just sort of disappeared under the rock. I'm pretty sure I was finishing High School when I disappeared.
As for what I've been doing under my rock... smoking a lot of weed and learning a lot about sound and recording. Went to school to be a professional audio engineer, now I'm working as an intern at studios in the New York area.
So I'm back to take over your forum again. Was I missed at all? More importantly, did I miss anything?
(Wow, it's been a long time since I've seen "Posts: 1" under a profile that's mine on a forum.
)
ABQShredHead
©1970
Kenneth R.
Cináed
Harris The Epic
The Keyboard Guy
Your forum? I'm futilely attempting to take back the forum that I was in the process of making my forum. ... even though you were here long before me anyway, and you're older than me, so I guess that makes it your forum by technicality. And you have a nice 16,000+ posts... But still.
So how many people are here that used to be here?
... even though you were here long before me anyway, and you're older than me, so I guess that makes it your forum by technicality. And you have a nice 16,000+ posts... But still. So how many people are here that used to be here?
ABQShredHead
©1970
Nice snappy response from John Petrucci when asked on Roadrunner's website about the year in review:
I fell off my chair.
I fell off my chair.
Similar threads
