ohhhh I'm in pain constantly

[in_absentia]

HAHA oh gee... wtf did i do? well ah enjoy yourself? nah yeh my hopes are pretty high right now...

 

[EricT]

HAHA oh gee... wtf did i do? well ah enjoy yourself? nah yeh my hopes are pretty high right now...

But I bet they aren't bent to the left...

 

[in_absentia]

... no... you're right... they're not. are yours?

 

[PlatypusJesus]

But I bet they aren't bent to the left...

Is she a liberal?! ...Amazing how quickly a penis goes soft.

Edit: OH THANK GOD SHE IS NOT! I like everything bent to the right, that way in my favorite postion, standard, conservative missionary, my penis fits perfectly.

 

[in_absentia]

huh..? i dont get it

 

[PlatypusJesus]

Honestly, it was far too complex of a joke and made too many roundabout assumptions to actually be funny. You see, when you refer to a liberal, normally you will say "leftist." Thus, "hopes bent to the left" would PROBABLY mean that someone was a liberal. I wanted to take a strike at the political, so I role played as a conservative and said that I would not have sex with a liberal because I am an uptight dick (I just added the uptight dick part. That is NOT in my post, though it is implied). So upon you saying that you are not "bent to the left," I could only assume that you are not a liberal, and so I am happy and ready to once again shove my penis into your pink love tunnel. HOWEVER, I am a conservative, so that means that I enjoy mundane sexual positions (i.e. missionary). In addition to this, my penis is bent to the left, and so the optimal fit would be someone with a pink love tunnel bent to the right, since it would mirror my penis. Do you see now?

 

[in_absentia]

fine im never ever ever ever having sex again!

 

[in_absentia]

oh and btw i dont know wtf u just said

 

[PlatypusJesus]

fine im never ever ever ever having sex again!

Yep. That's the effect that I have on the ladies.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

oh and btw i dont know wtf u just said

That so wasn't obvious. I mean...your response was perfectly in context to my explanation.

 

[in_absentia]

o rly? dammit. i promised never to have sex. I WANT SEX STUFF U

 

[PlatypusJesus]

SLUT! That's why we could never be together. All you want is sex. I need something deeper (i.e. penis).

 

[in_absentia]

haha.... i never really wanted to be together wtf gave u that impression? u want penis gayboy? oh and btw im no slut. im a virgin so SCREW YOU

 

[perniciosa]

There are more and more shocking reveals in this thread!!!!

 

[in_absentia]

u said it

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

5 stars

 

[Lunar Still]

im a virgin so SCREW YOU

Quote of the year.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

haha.... i never really wanted to be together wtf gave u that impression? u want penis gayboy? oh and btw im no slut. im a virgin so SCREW YOU

I don't even know where to begin. You don't deserve to have such a masterful album as your name.

Also, you can't really say you'll never have sex again if you're a virgin, can you?

 

[Captain Beard]

This has made no sense.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

I don't even know where to begin. You don't deserve to have such a masterful album as your name.

Also, you can't really say you'll never have sex again if you're a virgin, can you?

I honestly couldn't respond to her post because I wasn't sure if she was really that ditzy, or if she was playing along in a very obscure manner.