OMFG the new Bill Brasky

[Chromatose]

found some more>>



-The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

-A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

-Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

-Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

-Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

-Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

-Chuck Norris once decided to make a vibrator that would simulate the size and power of his actual penis. The result was a baseball bat tied to a jackhammer.

-Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas

 

[Chromatose]

ahhhhhahahahahah


-Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.

-Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

-Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

-Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.

-Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

-Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.

-Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

-23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

-On the A-team, Face , Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

-Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.

-There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

-Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

-Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.

-Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

-Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

-Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.

-Mr. T's mother didn't breast feed him. He milked her.

-Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

-Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.

-Mr. T skis uphill.

-Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

-Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.

-Why does Mr. T pity himself? He'll never get to have sex with Mr. T.

-Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

-It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

-The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

-Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

-Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

-Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

-Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.

 

[En Vind Av Sorg]

-Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

hahahaha. Ohh man these things never got old do they.

 

[Chromatose]

-Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

ha!! I can't stop laughing at this one.

 

[cthulufhtagn]

-Mr. T skis uphill.

hahahaha

-Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

haha rocky!

 

[Chromatose]

haha rocky!

haha!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't catch that when I first read through them