Opeth based/inspired poem

Don't mind 'em, I enjoyed your poem. Here's mine:Demon Of The Fall
Patric Wärgården

Hellish nuances of orange, brown and gold
Shining through weeping trees
My face enlightened by the sardonic grin
Through Octobers perpetual agony
My feet standing stomped beneath an oak tree
Its branches covering me with grief
As it thinks about days of old
Days of better, days of passion
Once growing with a gloom so fierce and respected
Now sucked solemn for the juice of life
No more sacrificial blood is to be spilt
On the gnarled, green flesh
No more long fires is to be held
No more pride is to satiate shining sky above
My surroundings is emptied of stoic laughter
The forest of October lie silent
Waiting for me as does the moulded grave
Leafs fall to the ground
Just like snowdrops, their arrival waited for
With tedious monotony
Hundreds of branches shaking with anger
Their crimson speaking unknown to me
Assuring me that I am but a yr. 2001 human
Forever ignorant, I am trapped
Inside four walls of arrogance
No furry being will look into my eyes
I can hear no creeping worms under the sod
Alone and awake but emptied I stand
Invisible demons of the fall speaks
But their comfortless tongue will not reach my ears
Their long beards and earthen colours will never reach my human eyes
 
Demon Of The Fall
Patric Wärgården

Hellish nuances of orange, brown and gold
Shining through weeping trees
My face enlightened by the sardonic grin
Through Octobers perpetual agony
My feet standing stomped beneath an oak tree
Its branches covering me with grief
As it thinks about days of old
Days of better, days of passion
Once growing with a gloom so fierce and respected
Now sucked solemn for the juice of life
No more sacrificial blood is to be spilt
On the gnarled, green flesh
No more long fires is to be held
No more pride is to satiate shining sky above
My surroundings is emptied of stoic laughter
The forest of October lie silent
Waiting for me as does the moulded grave
Leafs fall to the ground
Just like snowdrops, their arrival waited for
With tedious monotony
Hundreds of branches shaking with anger
Their crimson speaking unknown to me
Assuring me that I am but a yr. 2001 human
Forever ignorant, I am trapped
Inside four walls of arrogance
No furry being will look into my eyes
I can hear no creeping worms under the sod
Alone and awake but emptied I stand
Invisible demons of the fall speaks
But their comfortless tongue will not reach my ears
Their long beards and earthen colours will never reach my human eyes
 
I figure I'm gonna write this as fast as I can

This is my Ode to Orchid (feeling spirtually laxative at the moment ;) )

O pink flower,
ancient mystery,
lovely pedals,
all I see, have seen,
in this world of distorted dreams,
hair, I see death, creep
past my nightmares
and I have suffered
I sleeve my scars,
my mutilations,
my age.
Monuments, pillars, red sun,
in the mist, in the twilight,
under moons, in the forest,
I have forgotten
to touch your sillouette.
Asking forigiveness.

(was about to write one for mayh, but lost my inspiration- thanks Towelie for the occasion to write.)
 
Originally posted by The Suicider
"that guy" just happens to have the guts to say what's on his mind. Look how many people read this thread and look how many actually replied with feedback. I'm guessing they live by the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" quote.

Has it ever occured to you that the poem was probably written for a reason, and it may well mean something to towelie?
Notonlydid you dismiss it, without giving reasons you were extremely rude and I think that was very uncalled for. I reminds me of when I was twelve and my friends considerend showing emotion soft. The only differnce is we grew out of it at 13

Sorry, I just tend to hate poetry. Not because I don't understand it, but because anything (ie. complete crap) can make sense given the right amount of thought. What I read above just sounds like a bunch of BS put together just to sound good. I'm not saying you didn't put any thought into it, but it's just all over the place (pretty much like Opeth songs, heh.. so hey, you were inspired by them alright)

I don'tlike poetry either, but it doesn'tmean I can't appreciate it, and if I didn't like it I would just not post here. It seems like a pointless waste of time to post insults.

It's a lot harder to write a short poem that gets right to the point apposed to a long, complex one.

Its opposed :rolleyes:
 
And now, Mr Suicider, for your punishment you must go Valutate tanist's band! And when the Valutation has been accomplished to our satisfaction, only then will you be allowed back to this thread!