please help

MountainDweller

MountainDweller

Under The Dark Moon
May 1, 2001
575
0
16
Back in the Hellhole called Texas.
OK, I'm supposed to be going to university in London starting in January, and I've been feeling pretty good about it without feeling much anxiety, except when I was beginning to fear I may not get everything done in time. That seems to have all worked out and everything's been great and I've been feeling great and unworried, but just suddenly a few moments ago after reading an e-mail from the school about housing and such, I was stricken with fear and doubt about just about everything. I feel like an ass for feeling this way all of the sudden with plane tickets purchased and everything and it being only about six weeks away. I'm fairly certain I'll love it in London, but this anxiety is killing me. Damn, and I doubt this is the last time this sudden anxiety will hit me before I depart... Argh! OK, so give me some reasons to not be anxious. Please... :s



I'm not even sure I'm going to leave this post here. I feel like an idiot for feeling this way.


NP: Anathema - A Fine Day To Exit
 
I would love to be leaving for London.....but i am not really sure what to say......play Grand Theft Auto 3 on PS2.....great at keeping your mind off other things:)....very very fun. sorry i am half asleep and felt i should say something......good luck with everything.
jAY
 
Isn't it normal to become a little nervous when
something new is about to come...or actually,
you're coming to IT! You're leaving one place,
going to another, with all new people and a new
school, everything is new.

If I were you I'd be really proud! :eek:)
You've found something you wanted to do,
and you went for it... Some "last minute nerves"
is just good for you. Makes you appreciate it more
when you're feeling at home in London, and
discover that it was actually quite easy :eek:)

I wish you good luck :eek:)

Just jump into it and see what happens! :eek:)
 
You can see your moving to London as a challenge...I am sure it will be very cool to be in a new place with new people etc etc...
I'm sure you will make it!
Good luck with it! :D

As for me,I am so excited at the thought that in 2 years time I will probably be somewhere abroad continuing my studies....I can't wait! :loco:
 
Don't worry, friend. I left home to attend University in Melbourne and while it was strange and difficult at first, it turned out better than I could have imagined.

Apart from the obvious advantages of going to Uni, the friends alone are worth going.

Trust me, as a trebidatious, young, immature student. It was the best thing I've done, and I'm sure it'll be the same for you.

So enjoy yourself. You're always going to feel weird at first, but I promise it soon turns to familiarity.

And we all know that, "familiarity breeds contempt".

Trust me, I left feeling like a king.
 
London is really good i suppose, im a bit biased as ive lived here all my life. i have to say the waether is getting much better and i now hate the summer ass its too hot for me!!! :) anyway, we've got the UNDERWORLD!!!! yay, thats where all the best bands go when on tour. Anyway everyone i know that doesn't live in London always love to come to London, Oxford street and all. im sure your gonna have a great time here.
 
If the fear and anxiety of change cripples you, you'll never leave the spot you're now in. It would be a shame for that to prevent you from the exploration that life has to offer.

You face this is some way all the time - and you continue to move on. So go and do your best - and good luck.
 
Have you been to London before, MountainDweller? I think it's probably my favorite city in the world, and when I heard you were actually going there for college I was beyond impressed. That's the sort of thing I would've loved to have done if I wasn't worried about money, leaving my friends, etc. I told myself I'd study abroad there, but that never happened because I got too wrapped up in my specific program, which didn't allow time to go to London to take random classes. I've always regretted not being more adventurous and ambitious. Kudos to you!

can i come with you?
 
Been in collegue. And i understand your situation i was so shy i would fail courses cause i did not talked to anyone in my classroom, did not know the name of the teacher and did not know the day of the final exam. Its hard i was in my hometown but i had a hard time making any friends at all. I would usually listen to my cds and stare into nothingness for 3 or 4 hours between classes...but i was not the only one like that. I did talked to people over there and everyone was pretty much as nervous as i was the first days so thats an ice breaker. Second time around collegue i had the fortune ( or well misfortune ) of being with an old bandmate ( my old band that kicked me out but did not tell me until a year later ) and a girl i was inlove with for years...neither of them really talked that much to me and i was usually wondering by myself alone sometimes thinking i should take a shortcut to the first floor...but well one day some girl talked to me cause i was listening to Dark Tranquillity and that was also quite an ice breaker, i got a few other failed friendships but one that went great, lead to form my band and to ...well ask AngelBreeze :D

So there's your icebreaker being nervous and Opeth fan...
 
Hey, thanks everyone.

Sometime after I had posted this and logged off, I think I realised what the major part of my anxiety is about. I don't think it's so much the part about the move. Leaving people behind can be hard, but it has to be done in order to live for yourself, and I've done it before (all relatives and family live 2000 miles away). I think I'm mostly worried that I will love it there, but for some reason (money) things won't work out and I won't be able to stay. It's something I really want, and it'd upset me greatly if it didn't work out. I guess that's why the e-mail caused such a sudden anxiety. It made me really start thinking a lot about the costs of housing, which I should be able to afford for at least one term, then about searching for off campus housing for the next term. Then I was also thinking how I'm going to be thrown into a situation of sharing the flat with one or possibly two other people I've never met...not knowing if I'll like them or not. I'm an independent and shy type of person, and I'm kind of picky about the people I hang out with, and this is living with them. I was sort of thrown into the same situation over the summer a few summers ago, though, and with a lot more people. I guess that can be thought of as a good preparation for this. Anyway, I think I'm more worried about it working out after the first term than anything else. *sigh*

NP: Anathema - Temporary Peace
 
Heya.....

well.. when you've got the first term sorted.. you'll meet new people.... and you'll be more confident of where your money is coming from.

the first term is always the hardest. after that..... you kinda just cope.

i haven't actually been myself.. i'm still at college.. i have a lot of good friends that are at universities.

they're all in thesame situation as u.. lots of new people and no money.....


neway.. i know you'll get along great.. you sound like a lovely guy so you should have no problem meeting people..


Good luck and loadsa wishes 4 the future...
PiXiE xxxxx
 
Heya.....

well.. when you've got the first term sorted.. you'll meet new people.... and you'll be more confident of where your money is coming from.

the first term is always the hardest. after that..... you kinda just cope.

i haven't actually been myself.. i'm still at college.. i have a lot of good friends that are at universities.
they're all in the same situation as u.. lots of new people and no money.....

neway.. i know you'll get along great.. you sound like a lovely guy so you should have no problem meeting people..


Good luck and loadsa wishes 4 the future...
PiXiE xxxxx
 
i am facing similar problems right now... not as much as leaving a country, but soon i'm through with my exam for what i've learned (programming). now the question is what to do afterwards. i could work in my company for good money, but i think this can't be all. so i'm currently making up my mind wether and what to study. of course i have this prejudice of students being lazy, standing up at noon, and having great parties. i want to experience that of course. but i know it won't be all too easy (depending on what i want to study). but i think i should push my life into another direction. therefore a change of location can be wonderful. i'll just try.
btw: any idea/proposal what i should study? something with computers(programming) combined with biotech is my current goal... but still very unsure
so i understand the struggle you are going through, MD, although it's not quite the same, this step will change my life as well.
 
i hate not to progress in some kind of way. that's why i hate my current situation. wer rastet, der rostet, if you know what i mean :D
 
Originally posted by Blackspirit
Isn't it normal to become a little nervous when
something new is about to come...or actually,
you're coming to IT! You're leaving one place,
going to another, with all new people and a new
school, everything is new.

If I were you I'd be really proud! :)
You've found something you wanted to do,
and you went for it... Some "last minute nerves"
is just good for you. Makes you appreciate it more
when you're feeling at home in London, and
discover that it was actually quite easy :)

I wish you good luck :)

Just jump into it and see what happens! :)
Click to expand...

Really, it is something I am sort of just jumping into. I didn't decide on this 'til late July. Before then, I was thinking of possibly moving to the west coast (California). Why? Just for something different. Then a strange course of events happened, including remembering a dream I had and having a banner-ad for this University appear before my eyes one day (to never be seen again) while checking a site I go to often. I checked it out to find they offer things that interest me. I was already looking into England, but it was seeming impossible...then came that ad. I had already decided that I wasn't going to let my attachments to comfort or people I know keep me from moving on, and I said to myself years ago that I won't ever let myself be content with what I have if I haven't reached my dreams. And now I'm about to leave for the unknown once again.

Reading the last lines in your first paragraph made me remember something; one of the songs I was listening to a lot when this all started out was "Right Into The Bliss" by Katatonia.
 
Originally posted by MountainDweller
I had already decided that I wasn't going to let my attachments to comfort or people I know keep me from moving on, and I said to myself years ago that I won't ever let myself be content with what I have if I haven't reached my dreams. And now I'm about to leave for the unknown once again.
Click to expand...

I wish I could do that, but I love a
certain _someone_ too much for that.
And, I wouldn't know what to study
either so... >:eek:P I admire you for what
you are going to do! :eek:)
 
Originally posted by Blackspirit


I wish I could do that, but I love a
certain _someone_ too much for that.
And, I wouldn't know what to study
either so... :p I admire you for what
you are going to do! :)
Click to expand...

It seems it's when you only have yourself that the future seems to open up for you. It took some "friends" back-stabbing for me to realise that I need to move on. I was angry, dissappointed, and depressed for awhile, then I said "fuck it, I don't care". I then realised I have nobody but myself and that's all I'll ever really have in the end. That's when I said "no matter what happens, I'm leaving...I must move on" and I've stuck with it. I have a good number of new friends/aquaintances since then, started talking to another I hadn't talked to too much, and have forgiven and sort of made up with one of the others, but I'm still moving on as I promised myself. And all these things have happened since then. I'm glad things happened the way they did. I'm glad I was back-stabbed, or else I may have never realised some of these things and I likely wouldn't be going to university in London. What seemed bad and caused anger spawned determination, and perhaps there's something better in store, as going through seemingly bad things has often led me to find.

Another song I was listening to often: "In The Light" by Led Zeppelin. Also, a sort of fitting song at the time: Katatonia's "Don't Tell A Soul".


NP: Led Zeppelin - In The Light
 
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