hmm... i donno man, its not really workin for me. I see what you're trying to do, but its really the lead line that doesn't seem to mesh with the rythm riff. a couple of the notes line up and match well... but as a whole, it seems too contrasting and theres no harmony there.
if you can, try to pick out what scale the rythm is mostly based on, and then use those notes for the lead line. unless you already did that, but it doesn't quite sound like it to me.
I would try eliminating a few notes from the lead line... i think they're both a little too busy also. The rythm is great, i like that a lot, but I feel that a much more simple lead line would be a lot more effective over top. And at least start the lead line with the same note that the rythm begins with; it doesn't sound like you did, and thats a big sort of disharmony, to my ears. but the end of the lead line works well, because you can hear the octave harmony with the rythm...
but i would mess with the first half of the lead line, make it simpler, and make it start with whatever note is the root of the chord you begin the rythm with. even just hold the first note of the lead line until you get to the change where you play the last 4 notes, cuz those work well.
hope this helps. i love giving constructive criticism to ppl, cuz i love getting it and hearing what ppl think about my guitar riffs and band 'n whatnot
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