The following are (apparently) actual messages from a message board set up on the
internet to honour Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother...
She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to
the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the
Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a
fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later
though, it was sickening".
B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
smile. Just like a retard"
G. Hollins, East Sussex.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset.
--------------------------------------------------
I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin
Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".
L.Ward, Mansfield.
----------------------------------------------------------
When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did.
Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imagine that I will ever smile for
the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
A.Christie,Hendon.
----------------------------------------------------------
She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"
J.Clement. Grantham.
----------------------------------------------------------
She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover".
L. J.Worthington, Penrith.
----------------------------------------------------------
I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".
S.Wilson, Bristol.
----------------------------------------------------------
"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
family without being accused of being homosexual".
J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
----------------------------------------------------------
Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
experiment with drugs".
E. Franks, Cheshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
On behalf of all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences". T.Watson,
Ilford.
----------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around
The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
Y. Howell, Slough.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"
W.Waugh, Richmond.
----------------------------------------------------------
It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness.
----------------------------------------------------------
I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
public duties".
N. Wallace, Swansea.
----------------------------------------------------------
I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible
event" E. Thompson, West Lothian.
---------------------------------------------------------
Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"
P.McGregor, Southampton.
---------------------------------------------------------
We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers, anything to
help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin". R.
Thompson, Bath.
---------------------------------------------------------
I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again
until her majesty is buried"
E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
---------------------------------------------------------
Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes, Romford.
---------------------------------------------------------
I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know
it's not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous
person". E.Collier, London.
----------------------------------------------------------
Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands.
----------------------------------------------------------
She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance
fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God
bless you ma'am". L. Weller, Harlow.
----------------------------------------------------------
If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless
bastard!"
J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and
misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given
a life of privilege and comfort"
T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
---------------------------------------------------------
As useless in death as she was in life.
G.K. Pennyfeather, Hedge End, Wales
internet to honour Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother...
She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to
the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the
Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a
fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later
though, it was sickening".
B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
smile. Just like a retard"
G. Hollins, East Sussex.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset.
--------------------------------------------------
I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin
Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".
L.Ward, Mansfield.
----------------------------------------------------------
When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did.
Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imagine that I will ever smile for
the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
A.Christie,Hendon.
----------------------------------------------------------
She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"
J.Clement. Grantham.
----------------------------------------------------------
She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover".
L. J.Worthington, Penrith.
----------------------------------------------------------
I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".
S.Wilson, Bristol.
----------------------------------------------------------
"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
family without being accused of being homosexual".
J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
----------------------------------------------------------
Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
experiment with drugs".
E. Franks, Cheshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
On behalf of all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences". T.Watson,
Ilford.
----------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around
The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
Y. Howell, Slough.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"
W.Waugh, Richmond.
----------------------------------------------------------
It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness.
----------------------------------------------------------
I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
public duties".
N. Wallace, Swansea.
----------------------------------------------------------
I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible
event" E. Thompson, West Lothian.
---------------------------------------------------------
Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"
P.McGregor, Southampton.
---------------------------------------------------------
We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers, anything to
help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin". R.
Thompson, Bath.
---------------------------------------------------------
I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again
until her majesty is buried"
E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
---------------------------------------------------------
Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes, Romford.
---------------------------------------------------------
I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know
it's not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous
person". E.Collier, London.
----------------------------------------------------------
Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands.
----------------------------------------------------------
She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance
fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God
bless you ma'am". L. Weller, Harlow.
----------------------------------------------------------
If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless
bastard!"
J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and
misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given
a life of privilege and comfort"
T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
---------------------------------------------------------
As useless in death as she was in life.
G.K. Pennyfeather, Hedge End, Wales
