random joke thread
- Thread starter _Aragorth_
- Start date
Cat5Messiah
Violator of Sheep
Tut Ankh Amon
I See You Masturbate!
MagSec4
.:..::.: :.::..:.
Q- how do you confuse an irish man.
A- stick him in a barrell and tell him to pee in the corner.
Q- whats another way to confuse an irish man.
A- stick 3 spades in a row and tell him to take his pick.
Q- how do you sink an irish submarine
A- knock on the door.
A- stick him in a barrell and tell him to pee in the corner.
Q- whats another way to confuse an irish man.
A- stick 3 spades in a row and tell him to take his pick.
Q- how do you sink an irish submarine
A- knock on the door.
Lestat
Eternal Hate
Bodomania
Member
Hot off the press war version of "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands"...
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky, Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.
It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there, Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad, Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy, Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
It's the make-war-not-love season,
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky, Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.
It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there, Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad, Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy, Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
It's the make-war-not-love season,
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.
MagSec4
.:..::.: :.::..:.
Yetti
Active Member
I hope u dont have jokes on indians(India)..coz i am one of them...btw....one from me..
Q- How many drummers are needed to change a bulb
Ans- 10
1 to change it...other 9 to turn the room upward down
I know its not funny but i read it somewhere so posted it..
NP: Norther - Released
Q- How many drummers are needed to change a bulb
Ans- 10
1 to change it...other 9 to turn the room upward down
I know its not funny but i read it somewhere so posted it..
NP: Norther - Released
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
-------------------
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
-------------------
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
-------------------
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
-------------------
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before
-------------------
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother
Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
-----------------------------------------------------
I went to buy some camoflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
-----------------------------------------------------
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
--------------------
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a
strong currant.
--------------------
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
replied,"I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
--------------------
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a muscle.
--------------------
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that
you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
--------------------
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the
problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um... well... I have five
penises." replies the man "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your
trousers fit?" "Like a glove."
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
-------------------
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
-------------------
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
-------------------
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
-------------------
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before
-------------------
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother
Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
-----------------------------------------------------
I went to buy some camoflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
-----------------------------------------------------
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
--------------------
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a
strong currant.
--------------------
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
replied,"I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
--------------------
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a muscle.
--------------------
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that
you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
--------------------
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the
problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um... well... I have five
penises." replies the man "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your
trousers fit?" "Like a glove."
Tut Ankh Amon
I See You Masturbate!
this man walked into the docters and says ''doctor i have a problem'' the docter says ''what is it''. the man whispers'' well....i have an orange penis''. the doctor says'' this is serouis...do you know whts corsed it'' the man says ''no''. the doctor says ''well we must get to the bottom of this'' the doctor asked him ''how is your love life''. the man says '' dreadfull, my girlfriend cheets on me and does not let me do anything'' the doctor says''this must be the corse of it''. the man says ''no,no i have a new girlfriend and she is totally faithfull and lets me do anything i want'' the doctor says ''this cannot be it''. then the doctor askes '' how is your work'' the man says ''dreadfull, my boss makes me work long hours and pays me next to nothing'' the doctor says ''this must be the corse of it''. the man says ''no,no i have a new job now, my boss lets me go home earley and i get good pay''. the doctor says ''this cannot be it then''. the doctor then says '' well......what do you do in your spare time'' the man says ''well...... i like to eat wotsits and watch porn movies''
Tut Ankh Amon
I See You Masturbate!
as a drummer, i have to say that we just do that because it's fun, and not because we're stupidGenesis said:I hope u dont have jokes on indians(India)..coz i am one of them...btw....one from me..
Q- How many drummers are needed to change a bulb
Ans- 10
1 to change it...other 9 to turn the room upward down
I know its not funny but i read it somewhere so posted it..
NP: Norther - Released
Eramaajarvi
A centipede
a man walked into a bar........ouch!!
why did the chickin cross the road.......coz he felt like it.
why did the chickin cross the road.......coz he felt like it.
muwahahaha....Tut Ankh Amon said:as a drummer, i have to say that we just do that because it's fun, and not because we're stupid
........really O.K.
