Red necks the only real Americans

[DeathsHead]

Course you fucking can, don't talk so soft lass.

We would have so much fun: intense political discussion whilst you made my dinner, or while you washed the erm, "friendly fire" off my car from the previous night's dogging (it looks like a plasterer's radio). What laughs we could have, canvassing for Uncle Nick down in Little Bangla-town, hey, who knows, I could be their first MP - I have enough skeletons in the closet to qualify for that club. (Not so keen on Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation with carrots up my bum though, so perhaps I'm not enough of a deviant)

Oh, it would be happy days, I NEED a real woman to sire a son and heir (or 3), to propagate my Celtic Welsh bloodline , and to engage in anal antics, receive my thick creamy facials and indulge my various BDSM/Corporal Punishment foibles (I'm considerate,I do Switch too!!).
Come on, don't be so coy, I know there are Phillipino women who would cut off their right arm to take up an offer like that - though in the brochure I was sent (absolutely unsolicited, honest!), a strange glitch in the printing appears to have given all of them distinct Adams Apples. Most disturbing. Not that I'd marry one, you understand, just need a cleaner!

Forget the other ones my angel, they are nowt but boys, mere adolescent cum-quicks. Leave them to their Dungeons and Dragons, and come and play in my Dungeon. None of your cheap Anne Summers shite here. I'm different to them all, I swear, I have kissed a girl who I wasn't directly related to! I can make you happy! I can make you sore! I can do the bell-end bop for ages, without hair-trigger accidents, and then repeat afterwards! I can even do the washing-up on your birthday!

I'm sure you are not a Breezer swilling BMW, that you have never danced round your handbag to George Michael, and have no interest in Big Fucking Brother or Celebrity Love Island. That makes you a rare thing, my pretty English Rose, and I want you. Send me pictures of you masturbating with a hairbrush, or at least a topless pic, IMMEDIATELY. Don't fight it, there's a good girl, I have spoken.

The AssMaster

BTW, a 3 wheeler is a rug-muncher, "wears sensible shoes", yodels up the valley, only eats fish, etc etc. No problem if you are, I'm a modern man, I understand. We can work on it, and you will be cured in no time. (Not totally, I'm not some ignorant cave-man, you will be allowed to have your pretty friends round on special occasions. Like Friday nights. Oh yes, very 21st Century, me)




Now that, my friends, is how to propose to a chick, er, woman properly. I'll book the church, it's a dead cert. Who we gonna get to play at the wedding?

So basically you are looking for a woman to be
Barefoot and prenant, home doing chores, and generally minding the man

 

[Evil Dead]

How pet, d'ya fancy a fook? I guarantee no poor Yank could understand a fucking word of that cartoon, bless 'em!

Come on, stop playing hard to get, fucking marry me...........oh no, you're not a "3 wheeler" are you?

I dont know what you are talking about, because I am too lazy (american) to read the entire post, but I watch Coupling..so I figure I can understand anything you limey bastards say

 

[Norsemaiden]

So basically you are looking for a woman to be
Barefoot and prenant, home doing chores, and generally minding the man

Ha ha! I think that I was supposed to say something like that in response! Housework is something some of us are congenitally hopeless at (like I am) but having a whole lot of babies is a duty. Everyone who wants to perpetuate their kind (trying not to sound racist) should go for at least half a dozen. Their father should be a role model to look up to.

 

[DeathsHead]

Ha ha! I think that I was supposed to say something like that in response! Housework is something some of us are congenitally hopeless at (like I am) but having a whole lot of babies is a duty. Everyone who wants to perpetuate their kind (trying not to sound racist) should go for at least half a dozen. Their father should be a role model to look up to.

Sorry if I stole your thunder with the response, I just thought it was kinda funny how he phrased it--I just stripped it down to its meaning

Housework is a necessary evil I guess, take no pleasure in it but in the end I guess its worth it--except making the bed, still see no real point in that because no stranger or guess ever sees my bed so who am I impressing. Your second and third points are dead on, and in todays world have become secondary priorities for most people, especially the role model part--kids are taught by example, and most parents now adays either dont have or dont show enough interest in their child's personal growth and development, they (the parent) feel like the child is taking up their personal time and would rather pass the child rearing off to day care, relative, etc or plop them down in front of tv for hours

 

[fah-q]

Their father should be a role model to look up to.

Does this mean you will allow AssMaster's boys to wipe their cocks on the curtains, as he so eloquently put it?

 

[Norsemaiden]

Sorry if I stole your thunder with the response, I just thought it was kinda funny how he phrased it--I just stripped it down to its meaning

Housework is a necessary evil I guess, take no pleasure in it but in the end I guess its worth it--except making the bed, still see no real point in that because no stranger or guess ever sees my bed so who am I impressing. Your second and third points are dead on, and in todays world have become secondary priorities for most people, especially the role model part--kids are taught by example, and most parents now adays either dont have or dont show enough interest in their child's personal growth and development, they (the parent) feel like the child is taking up their personal time and would rather pass the child rearing off to day care, relative, etc or plop them down in front of tv for hours

You didn't steal my thunder I wasn't going to say anything as feminist as that, but it was thoughtful of you to do so. I rarely make the bed also! Disgraceful isn't it
Hygene is important and I'd never let things deteriorate to the level of a slum or anything (imo) but there is more to life than obsessing about tidyness. A bit of dirt is good for immunity!
You've got the right idea about childrearing there DeathsHead. No doubt you'd make a great dad some day.

 

[DeathsHead]

You didn't steal my thunder I wasn't going to say anything as feminist as that, but it was thoughtful of you to do so. I rarely make the bed also! Disgraceful isn't it
Hygene is important and I'd never let things deteriorate to the level of a slum or anything (imo) but there is more to life than obsessing about tidyness. A bit of dirt is good for immunity!
You've got the right idea about childrearing there DeathsHead. No doubt you'd make a great dad some day.

Ummm, noone has ever told me I made a feminist statement--I am not sure how to respond to that

Theres no disgrace in not making ones bed because theres not point unless you plan on showing it off.

Thanks for the compliment about fatherhood

 

[hypocrisy86]

Best thread ever

 

[Norsemaiden]

Best thread ever

Glad you think so
Seems to have run out of steam now...

 

[DeathsHead]

Glad you think so
Seems to have run out of steam now...

IT will pick back up, I can feel it

 

[hypocrisy86]

Im in Georgia right now

St. Simons island

Going to be here till the 30th

Aunt owns real estate
uncle owns a buggie shop

I washed cars for 50$
made 100$

 

[DeathsHead]

Im in Georgia right now

St. Simons island

Going to be here till the 30th

Aunt owns real estate
uncle owns a buggie shop

I washed cars for 50$
made 100$

So you washed 2 cars