say something about ... yourself!

It's my sisters birthday... I told her "Congratulations on living through yet another year without dying, or being extremely disfigured, in some sort of horrible circumstance." Her friend, being the loud mouth she is, deemed this offensive. How the fuck is that offensive, that's the highest amount of praise one can get on their birthday...
it's so wordy, though.

i think a simple "congratulations on still being functional" would suffice...
 
I just got called in to manage at work today... 11am till midnight. Everyone else is either sick, or having a damn baby... seriously.
 
Need a fucking job that works me at least five hours a day for five days a week for two months so I can get my ZT3 Custom.