So, kids, I'm going to cut my hair in the coming weeks. (Photos of balding, beware)

[Chromatose]

pshaw!

That's just because they're dirty men all around.

Now this is CLASS and BEARD, all rolled into one>>

 

[Captain Beard]

Frank beard has no beard.

 

[Dead Winter]

you're no fun

Although, Billy Connelly in Boondock Saints was a fucking badass, even without the guns. Just showing up looking like he did. That's pretty cool.

I can't help it. Every time I see someone with a huge beard that is like 4 inches long, I can't help but think of all the dirt, food, liquids, or who knows whatever else could be in there.

It's like that episode of The Family Guy where Peter has the bird nest in his beard with all the bird shit spots all over it.

I know that's not the truth, but I just can't help but think about it.

 

[neal]

pshaw!

That's just because they're dirty men all around.

Now this is CLASS and BEARD, all rolled into one>>

argument fucking OVER!

 

[Captain Beard]

What if we did have one that long and kept it meticulously clean? (4 inches)

 

[Dead Winter]

He hates sexy men. Give us a photo of you then!

It's quite ironic I suppose that my beard is pretty long right now, though. I need to shave it.

I've got the chin beard thingy going though. I dig that. I'm gonna grow that one pretty long, but it's thin and in the middle of my chin. Kinda like what Warrel used to have, not what Kerry King has.

I've got some badass gray around the corners of my chin, too. Just there. The only gray hairs on my entire body are on my chin. Weird.

 

[Dead Winter]

What if we did have one that long and kept it meticulously clean? (4 inches)

Are we talking about the same thing here?

 

[Chromatose]

smegma is not your friend.

 

[Captain Beard]

I had one that length. I kept it extremely clean. Yes, beard.

I cut it because it's easier to care for at an inch rather then 4.

You and Derick are on a wholly different topic

 

[Dead Winter]

smegma is not your friend.

uke:

Glad we "cleared that up".

 

[Captain Beard]

Beard Smegma is worse!

 

[Dead Winter]

I had one that length. I kept it extremely clean. Yes, beard.

I cut it because it's easier to care for at an inch rather then 4.

You and Derick are on a wholly different topic

It's just my problem because I have this thing about facial hair and food. Even when I'm drinking out of a glass and my moustache is grown out, I can feel the liquid touching my moustache and I don't like it. Or when I'm eating something really messy and the chin beard/patch/tuft/whatever gets food in it. Then I have to go wash it out, but it never comes completely clean. There's always some sort of residue left over from the food, like oil or something. So I have to literally get the soap and wash it in the sink like a douche.

That annoys me as it is; I can only imagine how I'd be with a long beard.

You also have to remember that I spent 9 years of my life shaving almost every day or every other day; if I could get away with the 5 o' clock shadow by the end of the work day without someone saying, "Did you shave this morning, Amn/A1C/SrA/SSgt Parks?"

 

[Dead Winter]

Beard Smegma is worse!

Yes, that's bad stuff for sure.

But whose smegma?

 

[Chromatose]

ha ha!

SMEG HEAD

 

[Captain Beard]

It's just my problem because I have this thing about facial hair and food. Even when I'm drinking out of a glass and my moustache is grown out, I can feel the liquid touching my moustache and I don't like it. Or when I'm eating something really messy and the chin beard/patch/tuft/whatever gets food in it. Then I have to go wash it out, but it never comes completely clean. There's always some sort of residue left over from the food, like oil or something. So I have to literally get the soap and wash it in the sink like a douche.

Beard is easy to clean for me. Moustache, just trim it back once a week.

 

[Captain Beard]

Yes, that's bad stuff for sure.

But whose smegma?

If it comes form a woman, you're in trouble.

 

[Chromatose]

ha ha!

SMEG HEAD

 

[Dead Winter]

I started growing my moustache out to the point where you could twist the corners of it like the turn of the century villains or the bad guy from Dudley Doright. That was fucking cool until it got so thick I started to feel like Wilford Brimley.

 

[tered]

Bald is the hit!
You can swim faster and there's more surface area for the kisses.

 

[Captain Beard]

Nah, the moustache sides I keep at bay. One they connect to the lower beard they're kept at that length.