Just want to clarify to those that missed it, my OP was not meant to be taken seriously. Sarcasm doesn't always translate well in typed text.
So the Rapture is this weekend...
- Thread starter BrettT
- Start date
Just want to clarify to those that missed it, my OP was not meant to be taken seriously. Sarcasm doesn't always translate well in typed text.
Genius Gone Insane
http://www.¯\(°_o)/¯.com
Absolutely brilliant. I stopped reading this thread after this post because it cannot possibly get any better.
MarcusGHedwig
Member
jipchen
ForesterStudio
Mago
Austrian Blech Machine
Loren Littlejohn
Lover of all boobage.
Virgil.
¯\(°_o)/¯
aberration
Black/Doom/Crust/Hardcore
What's really funny is that on Friday night, with everything else going on in my life, I'm going to be thinking to myself: "I wonder if Skinny Viking was able to negotiate robustly enough?"
theoden236
Soul Wandering
i look forward to the 22nd, when that piece of shit is trying to conjure up his excuses (god had to postpone the rapture for another 1000 years due to a family crisis).
Virgil.
¯\(°_o)/¯
Crazy I just got home and found that church had left flyers on all the doors in my entire neighborhood warning everyone that the Rapture is on the 21st and to repent and be saved. It was easily a 10 page flyer that went in depth listing out all of their math and how Camping came up with this formula, etc. Crazy stuff. lol
nialldoran
Member
Skinny Viking
¯\(°_o)/¯ How do Lydian?
I started warming up this morning!
I'll let you decided on your own what that means
LeSedna
Mat or Mateo
Seriously !
* 1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.[57]
* 1914[58], 1918[59], 1925[60], 1942[61] - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses
* 1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.[62]
* 1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.
* 1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.
* 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.[63]
* 1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.
* 1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.[64]
* 2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.[65][66]
* 2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.[67][68]
* 1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.[57]
* 1914[58], 1918[59], 1925[60], 1942[61] - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses
* 1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.[62]
* 1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.
* 1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.
* 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.[63]
* 1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.
* 1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.[64]
* 2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.[65][66]
* 2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.[67][68]
SocialNumb
Damn Christians!
Virgil.
¯\(°_o)/¯
Virgil.
¯\(°_o)/¯
Babylon fell
Maybe too soon
I did not notice her value
Until I looked into the storm
Why can't you see
When scrolls are drawn
Who will you die for?
Death angels fly across the threshold
Across these blazing shores
For Satan blight the sky
I am ancient
Blasphemous
Nothing left
Pray for war
Embracing evil
A prophecy of war
Dethrone the lord
The great deceiver carries light
Rapture
Join us
With demon swords collide
Black reign for the ages
Surging forth with might
We begin to slowly formulize
Rage on san redemptions
Now and ever after
Onward final battle
[Lead: Smyth]
And now you'll see
Why I was plotting forever
And as you kneel
Make sure my story gets written
End times forseen
No righteous martyr
My will be done
Empire destroyed!
Death angels scorch and burn the sky
Throughout his rigid vortex
Satan fantasized
Annihilated mist
Of utter nothingness
Pray for war
Just below
I'll break the sacred seal
Rapture
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Virgil.
¯\(°_o)/¯
OK, so what time-zone is this alleged "Rapture" supposed to happen? Because in Hong Kong it's already May 21st (http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/city.html?n=102). Is god based on US time? If so, east? west? central?
SocialNumb
Damn Christians!
Right on!
Does anyone know what time zone we're supposed to use because this Rapture thing has been weighing on me. I'm not sure when to start my killing spree. Plus, I have a lot of fapping to do.
Does anyone know what time zone we're supposed to use because this Rapture thing has been weighing on me. I'm not sure when to start my killing spree. Plus, I have a lot of fapping to do.
iekobrid
Authorized XSr Dealer
My understanding is that there's supposed to be a separate earthquake and rapture around 6:00 PM in each local time zone. No, really.
Oh, and the earthquakes will be caused by all the people who have ever died popping up out of the ground, ready to be judged.
Oh, and the earthquakes will be caused by all the people who have ever died popping up out of the ground, ready to be judged.
